understand psychology (aka: how people's thoughts work)

[mofro]

You want to understand what will make a girl attracted to your particular self? Understand the psychology of attraction. Read up on hormones, the brain chemistry of attraction, what physical or other traits make one attractive and why. It's helped me immensely. I can explain to anyone why I am attracted to them, and more importantly, why they are attracted to me.

Google it. Or check out www.psychologytoday.com.

DO NOT FOCUS ON NAMES OR THEORIES, JUST READ ARTICLES WITH "SCIENTIFIC" FACTS AND DISCUSSIONS. Every little fact helps. I learned just the other day that women on birth control prefer men who smell like thier fathers, but when they go off of BC that preference reverses.

But if you really want to score bigtime, go beyond attraction and understand yourself. Know why it is that you become nervous in social situations, why you are embarrassed to admit certain things that you know logically are healthy to admit, why people want a long term or short term relationship...the list goes on.

 

[mofro]

A couple good articles to start with, from the aforementioned site.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-3707.html - Looks at the question "Am I normal" by comparing personality types to personality disorders. Explains why some once beneficial traits are now considered disorders.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19930301-000030.html - Biology off Attraction. Just read it, all 7 pages.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20000701-000014.html - how you misjudge sexual signals, and why you overestimate interest

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20061221-000001.html - All kinds of good stuff on how men and women react to relationship issues, and why.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070424-000002.html - Why attraction is largely dominated by perceived (even if unconsciously) ability to foster children. Women are chemically attracted to guys who give off signals that they would be a good father. If you can give off these signals without sacrificing others then you're golden.

http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/take_test.php?idRegTest=1310 - How attuned are you other's emotions. Can you tell if someone likes you, if they think you're disgusted but don't want to be rude?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-3945.html - Why TO-DO lists block your ability to DO.

and finally, http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-2687.html - What causes rumination (inability to get out of a rut) and how to put an end to it.



All these articles give useful advice even if they don't spell it out. Once you understand some of the fundamentals
-brain chemicals translate into immediate, or delayed, or long term, mood changes
-chemical releases can be triggered by a thought planted in her head, an event or action, or a situation
-people are biologically driven to procreate, that is what dominates our desires.
-We are turned on by vitality and fertility.


you will be able to quickly analyze situations without referring to some kind of rule book. And, if you're like me, its more interesting to know the why not just the what.

 

[BLebowski]

Hey, great stuff!

On the topic of reading material...I'm planning to buy 1 or 2 good psychology books, simply because it's interesting material and you never know, you might learn something. Does anyone have any pointers on good books? There are probably loads of different topic areas in psychology so maybe a primer might be a good idea.

 

[Incog]

A woman will be most attracted to men like her father.

 

[potato]

I’m always suspicious of anything that comes out of the psychological point of view as it tends to be more speculative than reality.
For instance in the link to the Biology of Attraction the author spouts the usual myths but for some reason then leaks out a little bit of the reality of the situation.

She goes on about the nonsense about men being programmed to spread their seed then ends it with what is more in line with observed reality.

…among human beings polygyny and polyandry seem to be optional opportunistic exceptions; monogamy is the rule. Human beings almost never have to be cajoled into pairing. Instead, we do this naturally. We flirt. We feel infatuation. We fall in love. We marry. And the vast majority of us marry only one person at a time.
Pair-bonding is a trademark of the human animal.