Understand is NOT the key.

[Plec07]

Right fellas. Those of you who know me will know I don't post often, and I don't post heaps and heaps of words. So don't expect a long and fruitfully imaginative post.

Theres something thats lately been bugging me. I'm sure all you more experienced DJ's have been noticing it aswell. All these newbies keep overthinking things. They keep attempting to understand why a girl does this, what does that mean? Did she really have to go? Why isn't she interested in me? Constantly I'm telling them they're overthinking things, and then they try and understand what they're overthinking and why.

I'm telling you now. Think of some of the most well-known common guys from TV that women are so attracted to. I'll pick Joey, from Friends as an example.

Joey isn't the brightest of the group, and he isn't stupidly good-looking either. And yet for some reason he gets all the girls, on the show, and even outside the show women find themselves attracted to his character. Ask yourself why.

Well there are a lot of reasons to that, but the one I'm going to focus on is his attitude to anything he doesn't know. He lives with it. He doesn't strive to find out why something is the way it is. All he knows is that it is that way, and either makes use of it how it is, or leaves it be. He doesn't question how he should act with women. He lets his natural insticts loose. Embraces his sexuality, and isn't afraid to say "I'm a man, I need sex!".

I know many people have said this before in different ways. Pook included. So don't flame me for repeating something, I'm not claiming it my own. I'm just giving out another way for some people to look at it and hopefully understand that they don't need to analyze and interpret every little tiny detail of what a woman does.

If she bends over to pick up a pen infront of you, it doesn't mean she's necessarily attracted to you. It could mean that your of such little value to her that she doesn't realise your even there.

 

[Precursor]

I honestly couldn't agree more.. overthinking is like a dose of poison.. the more you think about it the more it hurts. My mind always switches to the worst scenarios possible.

"the one who cares less is more powerful" (i cannot remember who said that)

 

[xdreamz]

i couldn't disagree any more

yea i understand where you're coming from, you want to say people analyze too much and they worry too much, but them trying to understand it is key to find out how to succeed in the future. understanding is a key part of game.

 

[Jovan]

xdreamz you seriously don't get it and Plec is right overthinking does no good whatsoever they are just chicks

 

[nicenomore]

over thinking does no good...totally true....

but realise those guys who come here , are trying something new , something thats so out of their reality ever, that its natural to feel nervous,clam up and ask advice. These guys (me included) havent been in social situations, hence the over analyzing.

Hoow do they define "cool" : One who doesnt care about the small small things in his life....
It takes experience to be cool. You only become cool , when you are confident about handling every situation.

Joey is good but he's a natural (on the show) . He is a good example for guys as to in which mental state they should be in , but doesnt relate to the guys who come here.

 

[danielzxc]

Joey isn't the brightest of the group, and he isn't stupidly good-looking either. And yet for some reason he gets all the girls, on the show, and even outside the show women find themselves attracted to his character. Ask yourself why.

'Cos, umm, it's a fvvking TV show?

Well there are a lot of reasons to that, but the one I'm going to focus on is his attitude to anything he doesn't know. He lives with it. He doesn't strive to find out why something is the way it is. All he knows is that it is that way, and either makes use of it how it is, or leaves it be.

Yeah, that's a great way to live man -- in the dark, not knowing even the simplest of explanations for why things in the world are the way they are. Make sure that anything you don't know stays that way. STRIVE to never learn anything. That's what Joey does. Some people say "knowledge is power", but I guess they are wrong, 'cos Joey doesn't think so.

Sarcasm aside, I'll tell you the fkkn reason the show's producers and writers made Joey get all the girls on the show. It's because he's the best looking of the group. He's meant to play the role of the stereotypical dreamy, hunky guy who the girls like but isn't too switched on upstairs. This is fkking OBVIOUS too. It doesn't need any deep analysis.

 

[Plec07]

Yeah, that's a great way to live man -- in the dark, not knowing even the simplest of explanations for why things in the world are the way they are. Make sure that anything you don't know stays that way. STRIVE to never learn anything. That's what Joey does. Some people say "knowledge is power", but I guess they are wrong, 'cos Joey doesn't think so.

I'm not saying to live life in the dark, I'm saying to allow yourself to let things be as they are sometimes. To not let them effect you. To only let what you want to do effect what you do. I'm not saying be a dipsh*t that understands nothing. And I'm only using Joey's state of mind as an example of the extremes of not overthinking things. It does help him get women, because he doesn't try hard, he lets his nature control him. But in other situations it limits him. People need to find the balance between understanding and not understanding in order to live the most enjoyable life they can.

 

[danielzxc]

I'm not saying to live life in the dark, I'm saying to allow yourself to let things be as they are sometimes. To not let them effect you.

Can I be a really anal prik for a moment?

Allowing things to be as they are is not necessarily related to UNDERSTANDING things. You can understand something AND let it be as it is.

You should restate your point then: Joey does well with chicks (maybe in life, too) because he doesn't try to change the world he lives in. Instead of: Joey does well becauase he doesn't understand the world he lives in and doesn't try to understand it.

 

[Plec07]

You should restate your point then: Joey does well with chicks (maybe in life, too) because he doesn't try to change the world he lives in. Instead of: Joey does well becauase he doesn't understand the world he lives in and doesn't try to understand it.

Alrite, fair play. I didn't phrase it as well as I could have. People didn't take it too literally and got the jist of what I meant so no worries.

 

[Lust]

'Cos, umm, it's a fvvking TV show?



Yeah, that's a great way to live man -- in the dark, not knowing even the simplest of explanations for why things in the world are the way they are. Make sure that anything you don't know stays that way. STRIVE to never learn anything. That's what Joey does. Some people say "knowledge is power", but I guess they are wrong, 'cos Joey doesn't think so.

Sarcasm aside, I'll tell you the fkkn reason the show's producers and writers made Joey get all the girls on the show. It's because he's the best looking of the group. He's meant to play the role of the stereotypical dreamy, hunky guy who the girls like but isn't too switched on upstairs. This is fkking OBVIOUS too. It doesn't need any deep analysis.

Don't toss your negativity around the place.

What he has to say is valuable. You don't need to take it into extremes, he's not "living in the dark", he is trying to help a bunch of newbies and save them a lot of heartache and time.

You don't need to breakdown a post and attack the points.

 

[danielzxc]

That's probably because few people could believe that you were actually suggesting people attain and maintain a state of ignorance about the world in order to succeed with chicks. Nevertheless, that is what the words in your original post actually said.

Anyway, I still don't agree that this is the key to Joey's success. Joey is a character on a TV show man. As I said, his role was purposely created to be the stereotypical hunk, who is good with the ladies but not the brightest spark. He is OBVIOUSLY the best looking guy out of the "Friends", which suggest the producers knew that they were doing: they intended to make it obvious why Joey attracts the babes -- his looks.

Really, though, you simply don't need Joey at all to make the point that you are NOW making -- that guys who don't worry too much about changing the world and simply try to do the best they can with it the way it already is are the ones that do well (or "better") with chicks. THIS I can agree with. Not in an absolute sense, but on average, I would say it's true. Why? Firstly, because guys who aren't trying to change the world (or staying up at night doing research and writing essays to try and understand it or explain it, in depth) simply have more time to devote to chasing tail. Secondly, the more you learn about the way the world works, the easier it is to get depressed and anxious, so guys that don't bother too much about changing or understanding stuff are able to take a more carefree attitude towards life, which is an attractive trait.

 

[Plec07]

Cheers for the backup Lust

 

[danielzxc]

Don't toss your negativity around the place.

What he has to say is valuable. You don't need to take it into extremes, he's not "living in the dark", he is trying to help a bunch of newbies and save them a lot of heartache and time.

You don't need to breakdown a post and attack the points.

It's not "negativity" I'm tossing around, you twit. If anything, it's "enlightenment". If Plec wants to say one thing but chooses words that say another thing completely, the only way to figure out what he's trying to actually say is to "break things down".

Clearly though, you to be seem one of those people who agrees that it's better to "not think too much". I can appreciate that, I guess. Afterall, not thinking is a lot easier than thinking.

 

[Plec07]

Calm it mate, you've made your point, and we've listened. No need to get deffensive.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Joey isn't the brightest of the group, and he isn't stupidly good-looking either. And yet for some reason he gets all the girls, on the show, and even outside the show women find themselves attracted to his character. Ask yourself why.

^Cuz he's a fictional character from a bad sitcom on TV?

 

[Obsidian]

There's a time and a place for analysing, but no, approaching isn't it.

Quite right. Understanding is important, but you should try to confine most of your analysis to the times that you're sitting at home alone -- not when you're out around people. Introspective self-improvement is good, but when you're out pursuing success, you need to remain in the moment.