"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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undercover dj. why?

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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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kel

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What the hell are you talking about?
 

david90

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lol i thought u all know what it means.

Undercover dj is when u don't show your interest. When I see a hot chick, I tend not to show interest. I guess i'm afriad she might reject me so I automatically reject her first.:(
 

Eternal

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Originally posted by david90
lol i thought u all know what it means.

Undercover dj is when u don't show your interest. When I see a hot chick, I tend not to show interest. I guess i'm afriad she might reject me so I automatically reject her first.:(
That's not "undercover dj'ing," that is just shyness and fear.

Stop thinking she'll reject you and talk to her. The worst she can say is "no." There is a great thread by Paradox in the Tips section about rejection. Read it, live it, and learn it. Let us know how your results go. Until then, leave the undercoverness to James Bond in his movies. ;)

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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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