“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Undateable woman

Bonhomme

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There's this one gal who I have super-intense chemistry with, but she has cancelled on me on several occasions. When I run into her, she virtually attacks me, with crotch-to-crotch "fvck-me" hugs, and what not, but it's been very difficult to actually get together with her. The first time whe got together was an overnighter. Then she flaked on the next date, and I ignored her for months ... until running into her again ... with more of the same sparks flying whe we met. Then we made plans, she flaked, and I went back to ignoring her.

Then just a few weeks ago I ran into a couple of her friends at a show, who -- without being prompted -- told me "not to give up on her." So, I gave her a call, and she returned the call the next evening, asking what I was doing that night. But I was too wiped out to move, much less go out, so we made vague plans to get together the next evening ... which she cancelled, and countreroffered the following evening, which I wasn't available.

Well, we got together again spontaneously Thursday night -- I called her out of the blue, so to speak, and had a marvelous evening. Lots and lots of fun, pretty physical, and had she not an early work day Friday, it probably would have ended up in bed. She rammed her tongue down me during our very intense goodnight kiss, and we made plans to get together last night... I had earlier in the evening mentioned a show I want to check out, and she seemed interested. She said she was booked for Saturday, getting together with a neighbor who's moving out of town. So yesterday we were supposed to go out.

... which didn't happen. I'd told her to call me when she's off work, but she didn't call, so I called her early in the evening, and she said she was having a drink with her neighbor who was moving, and would call me back in a little bit, when they were done. I wanted a little nap, so it was no problem. But she didn't call.

After my rest I got hungry, and called her again, telling her I was making a bite to eat, and I won't be around much longer before heading out to the show. She didn't call, so I just left one more message mentioning that she said Saturday night was supposed to be her night with her neighbor, and this was the night she was supposed to go out with me ... adios.

Anyway, I have a number of other prospects, and am always meeting women, so this is no big deal, but it is weird, given that she's obviously very attracted to me. Absolutely no question about that.

I thought she was a drama queen or testing me, but that doesn't quite add up, especially given the way this last date went. But I finally think I've got this one figured out. The pieces all fit together. She's obviously hung up on an ex, or some guy who's not that into her, and is afraid to get involved with anyone because she still harbors the unrealistic hope that she will hook up with this other guy.

A real person does not stand a chance against a fantasy. So I just have to ignore her, or keep her as a backup to call for a spontaneous bit of fun if she's game, or hook up with if I'm available when and if she makes a booty call when the urge for touching real skin gets too much for her to resist.

That's gotta bit it. There's no other explanation that makes sense.

Thoughts, guys and gals?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Blue Phoenix

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You already know the answer don't you?

You're getting too interested in this girl even though you know she's not avaliable! You're starting to suplicate to her, Don't lower your status for this girl.

As Anti dump would say "Leave her on the back burner and keep dating other girls".
 

Ricky

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BonHomme I like you hate to give up so quickly especially when you both have some obvious interest.

I would just let this one play out. Maybe you will get to bang her eventually. That's all the Jekyl and Hyde chicks are good for anyways.
 

Bonhomme

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That's what I'm doing

Like I said, I am dating other gals. My attitude has been one of going about doing what I'm doing, whether she figures in or not.

Don't worry, Blue Phoenix, I'm not stricken with one-itis or supplicating to her. If anything, I've been upbraiding her for her unreliability. But I've finally figured out the puzzle, and realize it's just not about me. She actually likes me quite a bit, but I'm just not her #1, so she'll just not be mine, unless something changes.

So, I'll just keep dating others, and treat her like any friend -- with benefits if I'm available. I've not gone out of my way, except when we actually did get together: a few phone calls are nothing. I'll probably have some more fun with this one. :cool:

But this has taught me a lesson about the power of cognitive dissonance. Curiosity increases interest, even if it's just trying to make sense of something you can't figure out. A lesson I can put to use, too. :D

Yes, I know the answer, and won't take her seriously. Easy come, easy go. The main purpose of this post is for other guys who are dealing with a gal who's attracted, but unexplainably flaky when they're not doing anything wrong. Chances are, this is what's happening...
 

Ricky

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I'm getting alternating great and *****y behavior with one of the girls I'm seeing. Last night was intolerable (see my 7 nights until I found the inner ***** post).

I want to post about this new girl I met and spent time with also, but it is so incredible with her I fear of being flamed completely. Nonetheless the girl seems really outstanding and I can honestly say I've never met a girl where we both had such great rapport right from the get go.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Slickster

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The repeated flakes are just plain ol' disrespect in my opinion.

Your value to her suffers everytime you allow her to do this and get away with it. (ie. You calling her back)

She sounds like a head case to me. I wouldn't waste another second thinking about her.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
As Anti dump would say "Leave her on the back burner and keep dating other girls".
Yup. Could be an ex-boyfriend, could be work, could be school, WHATEVER, but you are a LOW PRIORITY for her right now. She's more than happy to see you when her #1 and #2 and #3 priorities aren't available to occupy her attention, but you're still down on the list. This has happened to me with the last COUPLE of girls I've dated, including the most recent.

ALWAYS cool to hang with, always tells me how much she enjoys hanging with me, always passionate when we're together...

Her voice was soft and cool,
Her eyes were clear and bright...
BUT SHE'S NOT THERRRRRRRRE!


-to quote the Beatles.

It's not something malicious at all...she just isn't into you enough to be seeing you 24/7, but you're somewhere on the ladder and she wants to keep you around just in case she has some spare time or in case whatever she's got above you priority-wise goes away for a while (or permanently).

So put her down the priority list for YOU as well. If you hook up with her, great. If not, great. But keep wprking the other ones and give her a call now and then when you're bored.

And if one of the other ones is demonstrating more value, SHE gets the time and attention...and maybe low-priority girl doesn't GET called becaus she didn't have her priorities STRAIGHT. :D
 

xiola

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make plans with her one more time and dont show up, lol


b
 

Bonhomme

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The Zombies, squirrels.

But you're a young fellow, right, so I'll cut you some slack on that one.

You hit the nail right on the head.

I thought of doing what you said, xiola, but that would be really lowering my status on account of her.

She is a bit of a head case, Slickster. Anyone who's passing up something as good as Thursday night's date for a fantasy is indeed a head case. But the chump that used to occupty my body passed up good booty for fantasy and empty hopes, too, so I can understand the feeling, though I no longer suffer from it ...

I certainly see your point slickster, and have called her on it every time she's done that. Though I'm posting a lot about it, I am pretty emotionally detatched about it. But again, the good has still outweighed the bad. It's not like I've changed any plans for her and have been stood up.

Still, if she says she'll call, I should hold her to it, go about my business, and not bother to call -- although I'd not have got the date on Thursday if I did that. And damn, it was one hell of a good date.

She's officially Ganji'd for a while. But I'm very tempted to leave another message just to tell her I've figured out what's been going on. That might actually cut out the crap and make it easier for us to hook up for some good, no strings action.
 

DJDamage

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Damn Bonhomme, you had to call her twice and leave one message for you to get that this girl has you wrapped around her little finger like a piece of gum?

You shouldn't be calling a gal who is acting flaky 3 times to confrim something. If you call once and she is not sure on the spot whether ort not to go with you on a date, you should tell her:

"You know what?you sound buzy today, its a good thing actually because I'm relieved, I had a few other things to do today and I didn't want to squeeze you in, cya later"

Hang up the phone and call her in two weeks. This will accomplish two things. A) letting her know that flaky behaviour will not work on you and you are not going to put up with B.S.
B) You'v got other exciting life beside waiting for her call, so if she doesn't step to the plate, you have no problems doing something else, you got to let her know you don't need her.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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whistler

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I agree with the gist of the earlier posts. You're tolerating, perhaps even rewarding, her flakiness. I know she's probably only worth a fvck. But calling her to enlighten her with your insight (speculation) will only confirm your status of being her b!tch. It'll show her just how friggin' much you're thinking of her.

If she is only worth a fvck, don't give her anymore power. It'll turn her off.
 

Bonhomme

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You're right

Regardless of the content of the calls, and the followup reaction of making myself scarce or rejecting her counteroffers, calling back is giving her more attention than she deserves.

So I'll just Ganji her for a while, and let her enjoy the company of Bob (battery operated boyfriend).

Over and out...
 

christz

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this has happend to me as well and i ganji game her constantly, she is on the back burner yes but the reason of THIS girls flakyness is her e/x boyfriend they make themselvs to avalible to each other and like some other users on sosuave has said.

females don't like to be alone and the thought of letting one go to persue another with the CHANCE that it might not work out and the PROBABILITY that her e/x might not take her back if said chance fails she just keeps him around as a security blanket attempting to keep him happy but trying to grab another branch to see if it'll hold her before she swings on it.

so i'm with squirrels.. it could be one of many things but general flakyness means another dude, or dudes.

so ganji her for a while make yourself scarce, ring her once in a blue like every few days shoot the shyt and don't make plans until a lot of time has passed. and i'm pretty sure whatever is ticking her her head will start to tick a different way.
 

Bonhomme

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Not that simple, DD

Funny thing is, she is that into me -- as far as chemistry goes. I've been with enough gals to know it when I experience it.

But there's something else going on: a broken engagement, she has herpes or Huntington's, whatever. Something that's resulting in a psychopathological aversion to getting too involved with any new man. And the practical effect is that she is involved -- in a committed LTR with BOB.

Enough of this. It's been an interesting discussion, but it's time to move along...
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Ricky

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Hahahah I've never seen that term BOB before! Was that in a movie. That is hilarious!

Bonhomme, best of luck on this. I've seen alot of girls like this before. I know exactly how you feel because in the end they are a challenge and all you want to do is bang em to feel like you've won!
 

The TallOne

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She is confused, move on.

You can't change her, she can only change herself.
 
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