"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Uncomfortable situation at work

zinc4

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I work overseas as a teacher and have to walk to the kids public school every day with another white guy from the us abd a young Taiwanese chick who is bilingual speaks Chinese abd English. Now I don't speak Chinese only very very basic, but the other guy who is also from the US speaks Chinese fluently.

Today we were walking and they went out of their way to only speak Chinese knowing that I don't speak any. We all three have to walk together , I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable like they were trying to exclude me on purpose. In fact for some reason, it really pissed me off.

I asked them once what were they talking about and the guy murmured something abd they went right back to Chinese so I just walked about twenty feet ahead because its just very uncomfortable quite frankly.

I really don't know how to handle this situation. I've obviously done something to offend the girl at work in the past....god knows what but they are masters at passive aggressive jabs here.....and the guy is your typical foreigner brown noser here trying to do everything in his power to be the favorite "foreigner" at the work place. Seriously, there's a whole set of them here like that. I think he's gay on top of that.... Not that that matters much.

But I honestly have no idea how to handle this situation because they both obviously know its rude behavior....no one us thst oblivious....I wish I could just punch both of them in the face to be honest, but obviously that would be bad. Wish I could just avoid the walking to school thing in the first place if I'm going to be blatantly excluded like that.

I was so angry the rest of the day, I couldn't even properly focus on my job.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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zinc4

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I have to blatantly ignore both to go no NC because we are in close quarters together and the guy and me are usually the only two that walk there. But honestly, I have no desire to speak to the dude again. I don't tolerate sneaky passive aggressive behavior. I almost want to call them out on it but they are both smart enough to know it, so that seems completely pointless.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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For me, this is the height of rudeness especially when there should be no reason to exclude you from the conversation like that. I had a situation where my old boss was speaking Urdu to another colleague actually during work, when safety would have been a real issue. And this was in an English-speaking country - total disrespect.

So I started speaking French to another colleague the next time he did it and you should have seen the look on his stoopid face :whistle: Needless to say he and I didn't get on!

The American guy you're with sounds like a kiss-ass and obviously gets a kick from making others (you) feel small - therefore has limited self-worth himself. Tell yourself you are the bigger person for not rising to such juvenile behaviour; find I'm telling myself that on a daily basis right now too.

EDIT:

ZINC4 - I'm so ****ing angry about it still I feel like going on a drinking binge but I don't want to be hungover for work nor waste the money. I really love living here outside of work but sometimes the work politics are just too overbearing with these people.

Pfft. You'll get at least one of them wherever you work man; you can usually easily distance yourself from most people, though always remember Law Number One: 'Never outshine the Master' ;) I know what you mean though, it properly winds you up. Don't drink too much (I've been there too, because of work), it'll put you in a worse place tomorrow. Have a beer or two with real mates and decide how you're going to avoid these vacuous idiots in future.
 
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zinc4

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I'm so ****ing angry about it still I feel like going on a drinking binge but I don't want to be hungover for work nor waste the money. I really love living here outside of work but sometimes the work politics will just flat out beat you down.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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zinc4

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ChrisFloyd said:
Then get off your @ss and learn Chinese, you whiny b!tch.
Im actively learning right now you ****ibg deuche. That's not the point of the matter. There are ways to blatantly disrespect people....me not knowing or knowing Chinese isntbtge point of the matter. If I had a way to retaliate I would be over it but dealing with passive aggressiveness is always tricky. I'd prefer almost someone physically attack me then sneaky style....at least if someone hits you for example, all you have to do us hit them back.
 
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