ummm so what just happened?

[bankai]

I'll try to make this short:

-Met a girl in the summer, she was a customer and i was joking around w/her (talked for about 45min-1hr)
-No real contact for a few months, i put her out of my mind
-Last month she dropped by my work place to say hi, we had a quick drink, found out she works near me.
-Occassionally she would pass by my store with her cousin or her BF.
-I passed by her work place once or twice.
-Didn't talk for about a month.

TODAY:
-We coincidently met up at a coffee shop on our lunch break. She wasn't sure if it was me so she literally bumped into me to see if it was me or not.
-1 hr later she comes by my work place and says "I wanted to call you from my store to see if you wanted to do something after work but I didn't have your #"
-After work we played pool and watched a movie. We walked close enough that our arms would touch, and during the movie she kept nudging my arm to say something.
- Before the movie started her BF called and she told him she was watching a movie alone.
- After the movie I went home she called me because "she wanted someone to chat with."
- Calls me again 1hr later to ask me if I could teach her how to skii because her mom and BF both don't want to.


So I would like to know... what are your DJ's thoughts on this? My gut feels like she's interested, but my head keeps telling me she has a BF and that she's a sweet girl. Moreover, it seems very sudden and fast. My previous relationships all built slowly over time through regular contact.

To be honest, conversationally...I am boring guy and I am in no way smooth, I have the tendency to say the wrong thing and kill the convo. I can't think of anything I did to make her interested in me.

Eg.
Her: Friends is an awsome show!
Me: Yea! Did you know the guy that plays Ross did a movie called Breast Men?
Her: Really?
Me: Yea, it was about guys that do breast enhancement surgery.
Her: Oh...

*coversation dies*

 

[KontrollerX]

Make a move on her soon or she can comfortably transition you to the friendzone.

Also keep in mind this will be a fling with her that is not likely to last.

What I'm saying is do not get your heart involved with this one because she is a liar and if she fvcks you or makes out with you she is a cheater and will do the same to you eventually as she is beginning to do to her boyfriend now.

She already lied to him about being alone at the movies after all.

 

[bankai]

true, good points.
I never get emotionally invested with a girl until I am in a LTR. I just thought the sudden "interest" was curious.

I shall see how this plays out... my thoughts is either she's getting tired of her current bf (who called twice in 30 mins to check on her) or she's just looking for a friend to hang out with.

 

[DonJuan11]

I'll try to make this short:

TODAY:

-After work we played pool and watched a movie. We walked close enough that our arms would touch, and during the movie she kept nudging my arm to say something.
- Before the movie started her BF called and she told him she was watching a movie alone.
- After the movie I went home she called me because "she wanted someone to chat with."
- Calls me again 1hr later to ask me if I could teach her how to skii because her mom and BF both don't want to.

To be honest, conversationally...I am boring guy and I am in no way smooth, I have the tendency to say the wrong thing and kill the convo. I can't think of anything I did to make her interested in me.

Can you loan me some money? I have a feeling I can trick you into not paying it back.

Her BF called during the movie and you think she likes you? Why are you wasting your time with a girl who is letting another guy see her naked and inside her? Plus, she said she was watching the movie alone. REAL classy girl. I want to go out with a girl like that so when she gets bored with me and I phone her asking what she's doing, and she tell me she's watching a movie while she's in bed with another guy.

------------------------------------------------------
Eg.
Her: Friends is an awsome show!
Me: Yea! Did you know the guy that plays Ross did a movie called Breast Men?
Her: Really?
Me: Yea, it was about guys that do breast enhancement surgery.
Her: Oh...

--------------------------------------------------------

You have to LISTEN to her and RESPOND to what SHE IS SAYING. She made a point about liking Friends and didn't even follow up on it, you just made a statement about something unrelated and cared about what you liked.

 

[bankai]

thank you for that tip on conversation, what would you have replied in that situation?

she says "i like friends, that's a great show"
you would say....? Yes it's entertaining, whos your fav character?


yes, I do think it was not very classy lying to her bf. That is a big hint that she might not be the best girl, but objectivly... her bf might not be the best guy also... maybe he's over controlling? maybe he's the jealous type?

I'm not trying to sound niave, but I am trying to be objective as well. Maybe we could just work on my conversation skills? Can someone give me an eg of how the male keeps a good lively convo? Should i contribute to the convo more or let her do most of the talking while i just listen?

 

[smooth guy]

My opinion is you're in the friend zone and if you're not you're pretty damn close. Listen up

-Occassionally she would pass by my store with her cousin or her BF.

Doesn't sound too peachy here. Coming to your store with her cousin to chat, or even worse with her BOYFRIEND, is a bad sign and it shows you're actually a work-neighbor friend for chit-chat.

-After work we played pool and watched a movie. We walked close enough that our arms would touch, and during the movie she kept nudging my arm to say something.
- Before the movie started her BF called and she told him she was watching a movie alone.

You didn't go for the kiss and you had all the kino you needed.

- After the movie I went home she called me because "she wanted someone to chat with."

Bad sign. Another one that screams friend zone.

Calls me again 1hr later to ask me if I could teach her how to skii because her mom and BF both don't want to.

Is trying to set up a date.

So I would like to know... what are your DJ's thoughts on this? My gut feels like she's interested, but my head keeps telling me she has a BF and that she's a sweet girl. Moreover, it seems very sudden and fast. My previous relationships all built slowly over time through regular contact.

You're not yet in the friend zone, but if you keep up on being her gf over the phone, the guy who will always be free to keep her company when she's bored, and you go to the movies, touch each other, and don't make any further progress - then yeah, you're definitely gonna be her friend next door at work that's gonna chit-chat with her and go at the coffee shop next door for a friendly chat.

To be honest, conversationally...I am boring guy and I am in no way smooth, I have the tendency to say the wrong thing and kill the convo. I can't think of anything I did to make her interested in me.

Eg.
Her: Friends is an awsome show!
Me: Yea! Did you know the guy that plays Ross did a movie called Breast Men?
Her: Really?
Me: Yea, it was about guys that do breast enhancement surgery.
Her: Oh...

*coversation dies*

Completely unrelated, probably uninteresting to her and didn't create any emotion.

she says "i like friends, that's a great show"
you would say....? Yes it's entertaining, whos your fav character?

Yeah that's a start. Practice on this while you're talking to her. Whether you eventually get in the friend zone or not you can still use her as a piece of meat and practice.

 

[Señor Fingers]

My gut feels like she's interested, but my head keeps telling me she has a BF and that she's a sweet girl.

Sweet? Are you fukking kidding me? You watched her lie to her boyfriend right in front of you. I can think of lots of words to describe that: deceptive, conniving, manipulative, but sweet?? Pffffft!!

Here's the real deal.. you may not want to hear this but:

She's an immature hoe with zero integrity who will surely drag you down. It sounds harsh, but take it from someone who's been burned (and watched his friends get burned) this chick is bad news.

This girl is not, I repeat NOT relationship material. Dont think for a second that she will treat you any different than she treats her current boyfriend. These types of leopards do not change their spots.

If you just want some quick and meaningless sex, thats one thing. But beware my friend, any emotional investment would be a huge waste of your time and energy. Don't fall into the same trap her current BF is in!

 

[bankai]

mmm all very good advice thank you. I will keep practing and going over the bible. Thanks

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Maybe he wants sex with meaning. Doesn't have to be just meaningless sex.

 

[drak_ool]

to me it seems like you already blew it. should have gone for the k-close while she was giving you all the signs. now that you didn't, she probably thinks you re a pvssy so i can hardly see you getting another chance at it

as for the girl, she seems like your average attention w.hore with a lying/manipulation problem. certainly no "sweet" girl...

on a more positive note, it doesn't seem like you have anything to loose, so if you ever get to hang out with her alone, just go for it. worst thing that can happen is you loose contact with a girl who was using you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

For crying out loud, the girl wants to fvck! Do you need an engraved invitation? In her mind she has already asked you to have sex and you have turned her down. Now she thinks you don't like her, and she is about to move on to another guy.

 

[bankai]

wow harsh guys... haha
well.. yea imo i might have missed my shot, we might just be friends now...

she started asking me what kind of girl i think she is... and aluded to having a deep secret that she wanted to tell me after trust was gained...

so yea... i'll learn for next time...