Ultimate Sh!t Test compliments of my girlfriend

[kdnash82]

Little things that my girlfriend has said or done has always made me wonder if she's bisexual or has bisexual tendicies or is bicurious. I guess in a way all women are at least bi curious or even bi sexual. Anyway, we watch porn from time to time and end up doing a lot of the things we see in the porn. (who doesn't right?) Well, she really likes watching the women. Always complimenting them on how cute they are or how nice her breast are, so on and so forth.

I'm constantly asking her if she's bisexual or bicurious and she always answers no. Says she just likes to watch women. Well, last night we got into this conversation, and she was explaining this to me. Didn't really make sense to me because as a guy, I would never look at another guy and say "Oh he's handsome... He has a nice whatever.." Then out of the blue she says "Would you like to be with me and another woman?"

I thought about the question for a minute and as I'm thinking other thoughts are pouring into my head. "Well.. I hesitiated, so if I say no at this point, will she even believe me? If I say yes, will I get the opportunity to be with her and other woman? If I say yes, will she get pissed. If I say no, will I miss out on a good opportunity?" All of this in seconds. So instead of answering the question, I flipped it back onto her.

"You have a lot of bisexual tendecies and it's really starting to make me wonder. Are you asking me this because you want to be with another woman?" Her reply was that she would be with me and another woman if it would make me happy. I still didn't bite. I flip it once again. "So do you not think that I'm happy with the sexual relationship that I share with you?" Her reply was that she feels that I'm comfortable, but maybe I'd like to spice things up. She also used the words "sexual awakening".

Now this scared me a little bit. More thoughts run through my head. Is she saying that I'm not handling my business in the bedroom and that another woman needs to be brought in the bed so that things will get better? I continue to poke until I get the results I want without answering her question. "Well, how would you feel about seeing me having sex with another woman?" (wrong question) She says that sex is just sex as long as no feelings are involved. She even went on to say that she's curious as to how I would act with another woman. If it would be any different than I am with her.

These comments scared me because if she has this mentality then she could just go and have sex with some dude and it wouldn't be a big deal to her because as long as she doesn't care about him then it's ok. At this point, I bite. "I don't think I would want you to bring another girl in because eventually you will want to bring another guy in and I'm not having that. If you feel the need to bring another woman into our bed, then it will be on your own terms and the only thing I ask is that it remains drama free. I'm very satisfied with our sexual relationship, but if you feel that a woman will make things better for you then I'm willing to do that, but just remember that it's what you wanted."

After this, she says, "You're different than other guys. If I asked that question to another guy he would have been all about bringing another woman in. I thought all guys were the same and all wanted a 3 way with 2 girls. Before we got together you were dating a lot of women, and in the back of my head I still think that you're into meeting and dating a lot of women. I just wanted to test you to see what you would say."

It pissed me off for like 3 seconds cause I hate tests. She never said anything else about it, so I guess I passed. A lot of the things she said were very true, but I would never admit it to her. I would love to have a 3 some with her and another woman. I've recently been trying to think of a way to introduce it to her. The fact that she brought it up made my day. I do like meeting other women and before we got together I was dating a lot. Since then, I don't go out as much, and I'm spending more time with her. That doesn't take away from me meeting women, because I would literally meet them everywhere, but it does take away from me getting to know them and meeting up with them because I'm always with her.

The whole 3 some thing is gonna be dropped by myself. If she brings it up again, I'm gonna test her back saying that I have a girl who is interested in getting with us. Basically "Just to see what she would say". I do have a girl that would love to get with us, but she'll never know that.

DAMN CRAP TESTS!!!

 

[Phyzzle]

Damn, you did pretty well. Basically, she didn't sound too thrilled about it, so you listened to her tone instead of her words, and said "don't do things that you really don't like just for me." In a serious LTR, you need this attitude.

 

[KontrollerX]

Oh you're good kdnash.

You're damn good.

LOL, way to pass this stupid test with flying colors bro.

Man what a save.

 

[DJDamage]

It pissed me off for like 3 seconds cause I hate tests. She never said anything else about it, so I guess I passed.

Nope you failed.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Nope you failed.

Elaborate on that...

 

[Alkali]

Way to test the waters, I am worlds below you.

Girl: "Do you like my hair?"

Alkali: "I liked it better yesterday."

Oh yeah, that got me in trouble.

I've learned that a girl looks her very best, ever. Every day. Always.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I've learned that a girl looks her very best, ever. Every day. Always.

How about when her ass starts getting big and she needs to lose 10 lbs or so. How do we suggest that?

 

[DJDamage]

Elaborate on that...

I can explain it but this guy has already written the book on sh1t tests:

Any time a woman asks you for your "honest" opinion about being attracted to another woman (on T.V. or otherwise) always answer in the affirmative, even if you really aren't. This is probably the single most common of sh!t tests a woman will give, and as counterintuitive as it seems this is a golden opportunity to display confidence behavior. Most chumps will offer up some version of the "oh, she's OK, but,.." response and fail the test, but when you say "oh, hell yeah she's hot", it sends that covert message that you're confident enough in yourself to deal with the fallout of her blatant test and/or to weather any comeback she'd have by comparing you to other guys. She knows the answer before she asks the question, but remember it's a test; she's not asking you for an analytical assessment (which is a guy's default by nature).

The other response that can work equally well is being direct and calling her bluff. Ask her, "now why are you asking me that? if I say yes I like her body, you'll think I'm into her and not you, if I make up some lame reasoning as to why she's 'not all that' you'll think I'm full of sh!t and lose respect for me for patronizing you. So stop it with your insecurity, if I wasn't into you I wouldn't be spending time with you." And BTW, the same is true when a woman asks if her ass looks fat or any other assessment of her appearance. Always answer in the affirmative. Any sex you miss out on as a result will never be worth the cost of your respectability for her.

and

The way to pass the test is of course by displaying confidence in what would rattle most AFCs, but doing so COVERTLY. The miniute you acknowledge it's a sh!t test, the minute you acknowledge that it bothers you, your communicating in the OVERT, and not only do you fail the test, but you lose the frame. The best way to react to this test is to be more mature about it than she is. Keep her guessing by being ambiguous and nebulous about your own sexual past. As I've always advised in every other situation, the most powerful tool a DJ has is to let a woman's imagination work for you. Far too many chumps think that an issue will be resolved with complete and full disclosure; nothing could be worse. If you adopt the attitude that you're unphased by her confessions it plants that seed of doubt that she really looking for, in that you may or may not take what she's saying at face value. Regardless, always do so with a been-there done-that attitude. Nothing shakes a woman's sh!t test and turns it around on them better than an attitude that says "I'm older and more mature than you" and conveys it to them in a covert manner. Sort of a "why are you telling me this?" presence.

How would all this information translate to kdnash82 situation? well lets take a look at the frame:

Her: "Would you like to be with me and another woman?"
kdnash82: (with a smile and confidence) Hell yeah!
Her: What?? why would you want that?
kdnash82 (without blinking): Did it before and it was fun.

The reality of the situation is that kdnash suspicious of his girl wanting to be with another woman is right on the money. By questioning her actions and fearing her actual motives he fvcked it up and she had to save face by coming up with this bullsh1t line ("you are not like the other guys") because she saw his lack of confidence in dealing with her. In reality she wanted him to take control and approve it by doing so in a COVERT manner. The irony is it is exectly what kdnash wanted but now it will be difficult in bringing it up again.

 

[Alkali]

How about when her ass starts getting big and she needs to lose 10 lbs or so. How do we suggest that?

Buy very little food. She'll have to eat less.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Buy very little food. She'll have to eat less.

whoah I'm not living with her. Maybe I can suggest we go mountain bike riding and whip her a$$ into shape.

 

[Alkali]

whoah I'm not living with her. Maybe I can suggest we go mountain bike riding and whip her a$$ into shape.

I'd advise against it. If you're not stuck there, get out lol.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I'd advise against it. If you're not stuck there, get out lol.

No need to get out yet, it just started. Plus just because she gained a few pounds doesn't mean you should get out. Come on man, she's still hot.

 

[kdnash82]

The reality of the situation is that kdnash suspicious of his girl wanting to be with another woman is right on the money. By questioning her actions and fearing her actual motives he fvcked it up and she had to save face by coming up with this bullsh1t line ("you are not like the other guys") because she saw his lack of confidence in dealing with her. In reality she wanted him to take control and approve it by doing so in a COVERT manner. The irony is it is exectly what kdnash wanted but now it will be difficult in bringing it up again.

Could be some truth in this. I'm not exactly sure just yet. I'm almost positive this will come up again. If it does, then I'll throw my own little test out there. Pull her b/s card and see what happens.

 

[Ever onward]

You failed the test because what you want isn't congruent with what you said you wanted. You told her that you don't want a threesome (unless she wants one) but then you confess to us that you would truly want one.

You also mentioned that you didn't want to have another girl in bed with you two because that would give her permission to have sex with another guy because it's "just sex".

Trust me man, if she wants another woman in bed with you two than she is not satisfied with things when it's just you and her. Does it make you feel good that she has to turn to another person to get satisfied and just because that other person doesn't have a c0ck that makes it okay?

She can leave you just as easily for another woman as she can a guy. I'm sure that would hurt just as much.

Take my advice, do NOT encourage bisexual behavior. It has become too accepted in our society and unless you plan to share your girl, I would nip it in the bud. Me personally I don't share anything. I never learned that lesson in kindergarten.

 

[Alkali]

No need to get out yet, it just started. Plus just because she gained a few pounds doesn't mean you should get out. Come on man, she's still hot.

I didn't realize it was a hyperbole. I pictured literally an extra ten pounds on her ass.

Are you physical with her?

Because there is an excellent work out that is just so much fun to do with hot girls.

 

[Play the Game]

dissecting **** test passing measures (long)

You have to derail the sh1t test with humor. Disarm it! You guys are just sh1t testing each other back and forth.

By answering her directly you are supplicating, or giving her more ammunition and you are labeled an assh0le.

Essentially a sh1t test is an attempt to classify you by the girl. On the surface there are two choices Assh0le or AFC, but if you avoid the test completely she gets confused because she can't get a READ on you.

Her insecurities are what causes the sh1t test. It's an emotional self sabotage, which you need to avoid.

Tyler Durden explains this quite well.

OK some guys still aren't getting this, so a little bit of review.

The term "**** test" is a blanket term for several things that can happen.

As far as I know, they all revolve around the chick trying to break her own
state. I'm not sure if its subconscious or intentional, or if they
consciousless try to cause trouble because something on a
biological/subconscious level compels them to do so (same way that we're
compelled to PU and close chicks).

Some people theorize that its a way of constantly testing the male to see if
he's alpha, or something to that effect.

Anyway, the point is that the ONLY ways to pass a **** test are to PREVENT her
from breaking her own state.

During the course of the pickup and relationship, the chick will try to RESIST
by intentionally breaking HER OWN STATE. It's almost hard to believe that they
even enjoy sex as much as us, when they do **** like this.. But really, they
just don't want to get sexed by losers, so I don't blame them.

OK, so all ways to pass a **** test revolve around the same thing: PREVENTING
THE CHICK FROM BREAKING HER OWN STATE.

So let's look back at my old post on this, just in case you guys can't remember
it. If you remember it, then skip down to the next section:

Options: How to pass a **** test

=========================

1) DYD Style: The answer she wants, followed by something sarcastic. HB: "Where
were you last night", PUA: "At home all night thinking about you........... but
then I got bored and called over 10 strippers".... this way is VERY consistent,
because it plays on her EMOTIONS. It DISARMS her anger initially - with the
answer she wants, but SAVES you from being a ***** by following with sarcasm.

2) 50's movie style (like in John Wayne films): **** HER RIGHT THERE _H_A_R_D_,
or kiss her etc.. VERY effective method.

3) Imitate her tonality, facial animations, and bodylanguage. HB:
"Where-were-you-last-night", PUA: "With-my-other-girl-friend-last-night" (good
to follow with a kiss right there)

4) Withdraw: If its THAT BAD of an infraction, just withdraw. This can convey
that you have other GFs or can at least get them. ie: Although I LIKE you, I
don't need you, and you are replacable.

5) Push her through more states: Just ignore the comment, and bust out some ASF
stuff (patterns, stories, etc) to put her into the state you want her in.

6) Utter sarcasm: Stick your tongue out at her, and go pppffftttt... and start
tickling her.... etc

7) NOT A GOOD WAY: Hit her. I would personally NEVER hit a chick for ANY
reason, but I am posting this for TECHNICALITY, on the account that I am trying
to push a certain point. (and unfortunately, yes, certain girls -often LSE-
stay with guys who hit them, and it works to pass the **** test.. very sad
phenomenon)



Notice that all of these ways DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE her **** test directly.

They just play on her EMOTIONS.

DIRECTLY answering a **** test will FAIL YOU EVERY TIME. A direct answer pisses
her off MORE, whether she realizes it or not.

===================

 

[Play the Game]

...

OK now to the meat of this post.

When the chicks **** TEST you, you can only pass it by preventing them from
breaking their own state.

They do this **** to me ALL THE TIME. They TRY SO HARD to break their state,
so that they can resist your advances.

They'll do **** like:
-"are you a player?"
-"I bet you've done this with hundreds of girls"
-"where were you last night?"
-"is that your pickupline??? do you plan this???" -or- "did you bring that
notepad just for this gimmick to PU girls??"
-"you're funny" -or- "you're so confident" (tough to field cause you can't tell
if they're serious or possibly questioning your intentions)
-"We're going to have sex" (when chicks go GM on you, ANY variation.. "you're
hot" etc)
-"We're NOT going to have sex"
-"I'm fat"
-"What do you do for a living?"
-"How old are you?"
-"You're too young"
-"What's your sign?"
-"What are you taking at school?"
-"Don't blame the dog/kid/whatever"
-"blah blah blah" (chick talks TOO MUCH, and you are supplicating by listening)

Alright, so let's break these down.. Some of these I remember learning from
CPowles and others:

ST: "are you a pleyer"
WHY: She's trying to make you EXPLAIN yourself, which she KNOWS will aggrevate
her - as ALL logical answers do - so she can put up more LMR.
A1: "don't hate the player, hate the game"
A2: "what is it about players that turn you on so much?"
A3: "yeah, I play sport"
A4: "players play with people's emotions and isn't genuine" (turn it around on
her so that she's accusing you of faking your whole interaction, to make her
feel bad)
EFFECT: A1 is funny, gets her laughing and breaks upset state. A2 is ****y and
turns her on. A3 highlights the stupidity of the question. A4 puts down the
problems of the chick who is maybe really shy, and is seriously scared
(librians archetypes, etc)


ST: "I bet you've done this with hundreds of girls"
WHY: Same reason as above.
A: "I've done it with thousands"
EFFECT: Shows ****iness, turns her on more. Shows her that you won't bend to
her **** tests.


ST: "where were you last night?"
WHY: She is trying to work
A1: "I stayed at home thinking about you.. But then I got bored and hired 10
strippers"
A2: "chillin' with your sister"
EFFECT: A1 is a BEAUTIFUL way of fielding **** tests. It plays her emotions,
because what it does is gives her the answer she WANTS which calms her down,
and a ****Y/FUNNY answer to make her get turned on and laughing BEFORE she can
realize that what you were saying was bull****. A2 shows her you won't take
her ****, C&F, turns her on.


ST: "is that your pickupline??? do you plan this???" -or- "did you bring that
notepad just for this gimmick to PU girls??"
WHY: She is trying to block you from picking her up, testing your wit.
A: "yeah, and I even planned to meet a girl with (x-neg that was said EARLIER
on in the sarge) (yeah, I even planned to meet a powerpuff girl tonight /
yeah, I even planned to meet a girl with stuff in her teeth tonight / yeah I
even planned to meet a girl with cute bunny rabbit teeth tonight / yeah I even
planned to meet a girl with lint on her shirt tonight.... etc etc etc WHICHEVER
neg you used)
EFFECT: Shows her that you're smarter than her, and makes her question look
ridiculous.

ST: "you're funny" -or- "you're so confident"
WHY: This is TOUGH to field because you can't tell if its serious or not. Just
field it as a **** test because it cracks her up either way with your C&Fness.
A: "what is it about funny guys that turns you on so much?"
EFFECT: C&F, shows you're alpha.. funny line.. funny guys are smart.

ST: "we're going to have sex" or "you're hot"
WHY: When chicks go GM its because they are hyper-obnoxious attention *****s.
A: "respect" (said slyly, CPowles classic)
EFFECT: Show that you're not the type to get all desperate and takes the
compliments seriously. ALSO, show that you don't get UPSET by the comments
either. It shows complete disregard to her obnoxiousness, and is FUNNY (not
insulting) at the same time.


ST: "we're not going to have sex tonight"
WHY: She may want it to "just happen" and is feeling too much like its an
obvious pickup that would make her slutiness obvious. She is also testing to
see your reaction, do you want her ONLY for sex, etc.. She's also trying to
break her own state, as in ALL **** tests.
A: "who said anything about sex? mmmmmmmmmm... guess you've got something on
your mind "
EFFECT: Shows you're funny, and RELAXED... also ****y therefore masculine.

ST: "I'm fat"
WHY: Testing to see if you're a beta pacifier type lame-ass.
A1: "You're enormous"
A2: "mmmmmm... more cushion for the pushin'"
A3: "J-Lo is in the house" (for "my ass is fat")
A4: "You're cuddly like winnie the pooh... ooooooo" (grab her, tickle her)
A5: "Look out Rosie!" (rosie o'donnel)
EFFECT: Highlights the ridiculousness of her comments, shows that you don't
supplicate, ****y therefore alpha.


ST: "What do you do for a living?"
WHY: She is demonstrating that she can SCREEN or QUALIFY you.
A1: "I clone humans"
A2: "I produce (x-trait of hers) fetish porn.. I'm looking for new actresses"
(break into Kooper C&F frames, and pretend that you're a pimp and she's your
latest girl)
A3: "Guess" (HOOP THEORY, make her jump through the hoop first before you tell
her)
EFFECT: Demonstrates to her that you will NOT be screened. Demonstrates
alphaness, because it subtley says "I'm here to sex you, not support you, so it
doesn't matter"


ST: "How old are you?"
WHY: She is qualifying you.
A1: "Guess" (hoop theory, and my answer of choice because age is SOMEWHAT
important sometimes)
A2: x-ridiculous age
EFFECT: Shows her that you will not be qualified, or are so confident that even
if you ignore her stupid qualifications, you're confident that you'll **** her
anyway.


ST: "You're too young"
WHY: Trying to qualify you, trying to push you back, trying to break her own
state.
A1: "yeah.. I know.. I crawled out of my crib, stole my big brother's ID, and
snuck in here.. does anyone have any diapers??????" (look around FRANTICALLY)
A2: "don't worry.. like.. I won't hold it against you.. I'm not like that"
(said with sympathy)
EFFECT: Makes her laugh, prevents her from putting up resistant emotions.

ST: "What's your sign"
WHY: Qualifying you based on ARBITRARY RIDICULOUS ****.
A1: "Guess" (HOOP THEORY)
EFFECT: Shows her that you will play her game, but she has to play yours as
well. You're still equals, and you'll screen her based on her GUESSING
abilities, guessing an arbitrary thing. 'If you will screen me on something
arbitrary, I'll do it to you'


ST: "What are you taking at school?"
WHY: Possibly screening you for income
A1: "Cotton blending.. mmm.. this shirt looks like 85% cotton" (grabbing her
shirt, stroking her playfully)
A2: "human cloning"
A3: "OK, seriously, you can't tell this to ANYONE.. promise??? ok, seriously??
OK, I know this sounds weird, but I'm actually taking courses on how to shoot
porn" .. wait for her to think you're serious, and start laughing at her.. Good
only for HB9+ usually.
EFFECT: A1 is playful and fun.. A2&3 show her that you will not be qualified.


ST: "Don't blame the dog/kid/whatever" (assuming you DID ****up, and ACTUALLY
said something mean.. I'm talking STICKY situations here, where you actually
****ed up)
WHY: She is trying to upset herself, because she has de
A: That dog is STUPID!! hahha.. ok you're right" (then KISS her)
EFFECT: Shows her "I am STILL the man, but will admit I ****ed up".. At this
point, you may have said something so stupid that you can't cover it with C&F,
so PROTOCOL is to PUSH further by re-enforcing with alpha statements that are
FUNNY, but then admitting she's right.. You kiss her as a REWARD for showing
you.


ST: "blah blah blah" (chick talks TOO MUCH, and you are supplicating by
listening)
WHY: If you listen, you are her girlfriend.
A: Do you have an off switch.. (mock hit her, then kiss her)
EFFECT: Shows you won't be a drama queen, controls her emotions with first a
mock-hit (bring her DOWN) and then a kiss (bring her UP).. ****s with her
emotions, makes you unpredictable, turns her on.



Notice that ALL of these involve the chick subconsiously/consciously trying to
BREAK HER OWN STATE. But by pumping her with a DIFFERENT emotion (humour,
C&F/alphaness/therfore turning her on, tickling her, kissing her/passion, etc)
you PREVENT her from breaking her own state.

You are DERAILING her screening process, therefore getting into the golden
gates.

They always try to prevent themselves from getting laid by you. REVEL in it.
Because all **** tests are ACTUALLY OPPORTUNITIES. If you're being tested, its
a good sign, because it SHOWS that you have ENGAGED her reproductive screening
process.

Do you think that HBs sit around **** testing RANDOM BUMS OFF THE STREET???
NO. They only do it to guys just like YOU. So be HAPPY that they **** test
you, because if they didn't, then you are in SERIOUS trouble!

Remember, ANY logical answer shows beta-ness, and therefore will make her MORE
upset. Have you ever seen a guy start explaining himself to a chick and have
her LIKE it??????? RARELY. Only if its a SERIOUS incident, and EVEN THEN
chicks are so chick-ish that they often don't like it.

Hope that's helpful. Try to keep it in mind.




TylerDurden