Ultimate HB Specs for DJ?

[bushman]

Hi Everyone,


I just got baptized (broke of 4 yr relationship) as a single again and I'm on my way to recovery phase and yes i reviewed all the dumped-guides here. right now my urge to find a new woman is so high, that it got me thinking I might end up the with the same as before so for now I am giving myself a time off.

The reason I am here is to ask you guys or give some tips how to sort out women in the dating process like truly knowing the person. I am more on the LTR side and would push thru marriage if the woman is the right one.

So my question is in a DJ standpoint what does he want in woman? As for PHYSICAL let's leave that alone and I know pretty much what I like sort of like personal preference and a lot here have their own.

About character traits? What are the things that a DJ look for? and what are the RED FLAGS? it's like how do you define a VERY GOOD PERSONALITY?

My relationship of 4 years ended not too long ago, on our way to 3rd year I was a bit surprised there's was a sudden change in her personality mostly throwing fit at me then sudden temper outbursts... at first i didn't see these during the first two years, so to find out what's going on i went to her closest sister asked about my EX, it's confirmed that she has it always, never accepts her mistakes & you will never hear apologies from her, she's always right. Upon hearing this I just worked my way, just stayed calm and walked away from her presence because at that point I was ready to say something bad which will escalate to something else, I don't know how she kept this from me for two years then suddenly unleashed it.... anyway at the end I caught her cheating....it's hard to accept but I have to let go.


any tips?

 

[Epimanes]

Firstly .. figure out what your needs are and what causes you to get upset .. there is a GREAT questionairs that you can use to determine what these are here..

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4501_enq.html

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4502_lbq.html

Any and all needs and love busters that you may have for a relationship will fall into the categories described in the questions. The top 5 emotional needs (you will get to rank them as you do the questions) are the ones that make you feel the most loved. WHom ever meets your top 5 on a consistant basis you will fall in love with. Avoid things that make each other unhappy( this means BOTH of you btw not just the guy and not just the woman. Avoid at all costs; angry outbursts, disrespectful judgements and seflish demands and dishonesty) .. and meet your wife/GF's top 5 needs (sometimes your needs change order so its good to reevaluate once in a while) and BOOM ... youll have a happy relationship! Simple strategy of give and take in equal portions.

 

[HoneyHitter]

About character traits? What are the things that a DJ look for? and what are the RED FLAGS? it's like how do you define a VERY GOOD PERSONALITY?

Reflect on your last LTR. Branch swinging women always have an exit-strategy. The type of strategy depends on her personality type. The moment you found out there was something wrong, was probably the point where she'd already secured her new branch.

Now, think back. What were the signals you ignored? Those are your red flags. Suddenly increased visits to her "mom's" place? How about those weird questions or conversations that seemed pointless? How about little things she did to "test" you?

I don't really think personality can influence her attraction a whole lot. Of course, we usually prefer naturally well-behaved women. But even that kind of woman can suddenly turn her back on you!

IMO, what REALLY matters is RESPECT.
When did you notice that she lost respect for you?

 

[disgustipated]

Marriage building plugs on don Juan site....can we ban this fool and his canned material already?

 

[Epimanes]

Disgustipated .. do you feel threatend by me? lol ... why ban me .. im honestly trying to help people ... The info is free .. its not like I am selling shyt.

Far to many times i read how people here are jerks .. and just use women. They are people too .. geesh .. show some heart. I see more people on the "jerk" side of the fence rather than the don juan middle ground being smooth and charming.

I fear for my daughter also with a world full of guys acting like jerks.. trying to find ways to cheat and not get caught when they are not happy with what they are getting or not getting. Lifes not all about getting your **** wet.

If the mods want to ban me ... Go for it. I am PRO MARRIAGE BUILDERS .. and PRO DON JUAN (if its used in the right context). I talk Don Juan (rather POOK) over on that site .. and try and help the guys there MAN UP when i see them being AFC .. so when i see some jerks here that need a bit of a wake up call .. OR are asking for help, where some heart felt advice might be needed .. I will give it. It works both ways for me. You dont have to like me .. I am fine with that.

INFACT! ... Marriagebuilders suggests you date up to 35 women before you marry so you can learn to find the right one.

 

[disgustipated]

How do you **** minimum 35 women without getting your **** wet? You.contradict yourself. One brief glimpse at the forums there and I.got a huge whiff of estrogen. Sorry but guys who are struggling with women don't need an atmosphere like that. Taking advice from women about women is one of the basic things you learn here....or advice from.men that repeat advice from women.

And so what, if a guy wants to spend his whole life chasing poon and he does just that, he is more MAN than a guy that finds himself in a ****ty marriage and deludes himself into thinking he hasn't MANNED UP in some fashion, when in all likilihood he's married to a fat slob now. Please don't use that feminist terms around here. Were men trying to help one.another....preferably by not shaming. That's a woman's lot, mate.

 

[Albatross953]

Lol, wow. Look marriagebuilders helps with perfecting your beta. As in once you've pulled her in and she's getting the wrong beta. You should be able to meet her needs without getting walked on. But I'm not sure it's real useful in large doses for attracting and screening. You need to ping alpha and beta for that.
And above all just get out there and let things happen. You can't simply plan out...I want this girl. That's the road to Oneitis.

 

[Epimanes]

Well, when u have the girl... Been together for a long time and you have kids together. Being the alpha jerk strategy may not always be a good way to proceed. Sometimes you have to have a heart and think where you can be the better person or find some neutral ground. It my not apply for screening I agree but its a great way to learn how to keep what you have and not just next your wife or ltr with kids and ruin things. The condition of a ltr or marriage is contributed to by both. It takes a real man to work with what he has especially if there is innocent people involved.

You see. You have this marriage section on the forum and until I got here I seen no useful advice to actually help someone who might actually want to keep his marriage intact and be happy. So I tell u what I will stick to giving my advice on that board when I'm prompted to do so. The rest of u can keep nexting the ladies you don't want and contribute to our std statistics. Enjoy.

 

[disgustipated]

So now.nexting a girl causes stds or somehow contributes to it? Wow.

 

[Epimanes]

No dude you missed the point ... bouncing from chick to chick ... when you just pump and dump them. But whatever ... each to their own.

 

[disgustipated]

Ermm they don't sell.condoms where you live?

How do you not bounce from chick to chick when you recommend getting with 35 women? And do you believe that there's something magical about that number that protects you from spreading stds? 35 is plenty of times to.catch something. Your message seems contradictory.

 

[Epimanes]

You dont have to have sex with every chick you meet ... to see if shes the one ... not everything is about sex. How about other ways to determine compatibility ... ?? no condom or sexual protection is 100% that you wont get an STD. Sexual compatibility can be determined once you find out if your compatible in all other areas first aswell .. but i know ... MOST guys only think with their ****s .. and not with their brains.

Just a side note .. i never dated 35 ladies. I have been with my wife since she was 15 and I was 16. WE moved in together after both of us got kicked out by our parents because they didnt like us being together. SO we got our own place at 16 and 17 ... finished high school together and had after school jobs to pay rent.

 

[disgustipated]

Sounds like chick advice. Bro?

 

[bushman]

oh man what happened to my requested tips?

I am sorry it went to marriagebuilder flames.

 

[bushman]

You dont have to have sex with every chick you meet ... to see if shes the one ... not everything is about sex. How about other ways to determine compatibility ... ?? no condom or sexual protection is 100% that you wont get an STD. Sexual compatibility can be determined once you find out if your compatible in all other areas first aswell .. but i know ... MOST guys only think with their ****s .. and not with their brains.

Just a side note .. i never dated 35 ladies. I have been with my wife since she was 15 and I was 16. WE moved in together after both of us got kicked out by our parents because they didnt like us being together. SO we got our own place at 16 and 17 ... finished high school together and had after school jobs to pay rent.

you meant your wife is your first and the last? and will stay forever that way?

I salute you man!!!, on this day & age it's very rare to hear stories like these ( in U.S). I have friends who are very successfull and truly happy with just one woman and still going strong after 15 years.

 

[Boilermaker]

bushman:

take it slow.
Don't get ahead of yourself. If you focus on you, chicks pop out of everywhere, of course don't live in a cave either.

Frequent same places, preferably dance clasess (not to hunt but to learn and make you better), coffee shops, places where you can maintain some level of social life.

Being single is great, too. Cherish that.

 

[Greasy Pig]

An LTR should add to your happiness, not detract from it. She should be thoughtful and considerate, she should be willing to compromise to fulfil your wishes and she should always be trying to make sure she pleases you so you don't stray.
How you find a woman like that (and keep her) is up to you and it's what this site is mostly about.
You have to become a man that women would go out of their way to keep.

 

[AW1983]

But basically, you want a woman who relieves the stress in your life as opposed to adding to it. She should make you laugh, and express interest in some of the things you like to do. She shouldn't be too clingy, and she should be a confident woman who doesn't always assume you're fvcking half the neighborhood every time you go out. She can keep conversation going, but she also knows when to shut the fvck up. You should look forward to seeing her and talking to her, rather than dreading what kind of BS she's going to try to pull on you this time. The list goes on but do you get the picture?

Repped for the above. I just had to get rid of a girl who always assumed I was fvcking someone else the second I was out of her sight. Constant drama over it. Good girl at heart but just too insecure I guess. It's a shame...

I'm curious Brad, have you had a girl that met all the requirements you posted above? Just wondering if you're speaking from experience, or principle?

 

[AW1983]

Alphawhiskey, whenever you see me write something bro it's always from experience. I have indeed had women who constantly thought I was cheating on them when I wasn't.

Actually man, I mean the good qualities you listed, all in one woman.

I find that this is them projecting their own bad behavior onto you. Often when a woman is constantly assuming you're out cheating, it's because she's either really cheating on you, or has cheated on her bf's in the past and is trying to convince herself you're cheating on her so she can do the same to you.

Usually I would agree with you, but this one was very, very loyal. It was more so that she knows am always capable of having options at a moments notice, because she's seen HB's flirt with me left and right, but she's too insecure to just not worry about it.

Plus, how bad does it suck to be constantly accused of something you're not doing?

You ain't gotta tell me man...it's draining. I kept at it for a while because she has a lot of other good qualities, but ultimately couldn't hang. Still bummed over it to be honest. C'est la vie.

Anyway, back to thread topic, I'd be interested to know how many girls you've known Brad that meet all your positive qualities above. I just wonder how common you guys think such girls are to find. I've known a few, but it seems they've been scarce in my life lately...