"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

UK girls....help the guys with cold pickups in the UK!

Status
Not open for further replies.

Guitar_Whizz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2002
Messages
1,028
Reaction score
232
Location
UK
Are there any UK girls on this forum? As you may know, guys in the UK have a lot of trouble with cold approaches. I'd like the UK girls here to give us some advice!

What is your attitude to cold approaches? What type of approaches would you respond positively to and which not?

How often do you get approached in the daytime/everyday places such as the street or shops? (I bet it's not very often, as most UK guys are AFCs!)

Thanks.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Not Quite There

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2004
Messages
360
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz
(I bet it's not very often, as most UK guys are AFCs!)


sorry, i disagree with this a lot.

I definatly know some proper AFCs, but also i know a lot of lads who don't put up with **** off girls.

just because guys may not go round doing colad approaches in the street, don't make them AFCs!!
 

Guitar_Whizz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2002
Messages
1,028
Reaction score
232
Location
UK
Maybe there are UK guys that don't put up with sh*t from their girls, but those guys are usually JERKS not DJs. They react to a girl's sh*t by getting angry and piss*d off, not by being calm and in control a.ka. James Bond etc. I've noticed that because the UK culture is so closed off, that you usually only see guys here that act either shy and retarded or angry and boistrous - no in betweens. We as DJs are striving for a kind of middle ground.
 

Triple X

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 12, 2005
Messages
247
Reaction score
0
Age
46
Location
England
What do you mean the UK culture is 'closed off'?? I'm not sure I'm with you there.

If you mean cold approaches aren't generally accepted as 'OK' here, then you're right. It doesn't seem to be the done thing to approach strangers in the street, particularly with the motive of gaming them.

But frankly, I agree with that. I think there is something disturbing and even a little creepy about the whole cold approach thing. You come off looking extremely desparate at best.

Feel free to flame me here (and some of you probably will) but I always hated the idea of cold approaches. To me being a 'DJ' is about being good with women/confident etc. It is not the result of having approached a certain number of strangers in the street, getting mercilessly rejected and posting about it on a website.

'But you've grown some balls!!' I hear some dudes cry out. 'So f***in what!!' I reply, 'You've still made yourself look like a desperate fool with no life!!'

Did Don Juan go up to random women in the street and talk sh*t in hopes of getting their phone numbers? (OK I know they didnt have phones in those days lol). But I hope you get my point. No. Don Juan was smooth and knew how to handle women. They came to him.

Which is why I think cold approaching is a bad idea in general so I am happy that our culture doesn't seem to embrace it. Because I don't either.
 

Not Quite There

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2004
Messages
360
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by Triple X
. To me being a 'DJ' is about being good with women/confident etc. It is not the result of having approached a certain number of strangers in the street, getting mercilessly rejected and posting about it on a website.

yeah mate, your spot on there, thats how i see it, and thats what I was disagreeing with guitar whizz, because i know lots of people like that, so hardly think the UK is full of AFCs.

Going up to randoms in the street can definatly come across as desperate, and is pretty cheesy, the only people i ever see try it on are black kids (no offence to anyone who is black), my mate who is black does it and he basically gets the piss ripped out of him and is known for pulling fat girls, says it all really....

this may be a bit of a news flash for some of you here, but no fit girl (hb7.5 up) is ever going to be impressed by some guy coming up to her in the street in britain!! unless you look like brad pitt its gonna come off as creepy.

On the other hand, certain situations like bus stops etc if you start with some small talk i.e the time, and she is receptive, you may be able to take the conversation elsewhere.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

diablo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
4,678
Reaction score
9
Location
Louisiana, USA
It seems like every day there is a new thread about how hard cold pickups are in the UK. Try doing a search, this has been discussed about 29834 times.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top