Uh oh!

[jadeona13]

Here goes. My girlfriend and I fight all the time. But its small fights that are annoying, but they make each other closer and more loving and stronger. I told her some fights were unneccesary. She said she would try to stop..

So the other day, i make a comment about my girlfriend that she took seriously but was a joke( i dont remember). It really wasnt that bad but i still said sorry , sorry, sorry. She just said NO. I couldnt stand that sh!t so i took ur advice and just walked away. I was at her house and i took a long walk around the neighborhood with my good friend. She texted me and said "Is ignoring me the way for u to avoid a fight? Come talk to me now"

So we talked and she said im mean to her when we are in groups of people, too flirtacious, and other stuff.

Then the next day came and she was going to the beach with all of the friends (the group of people we both ang out with - 10 people)..but i wasnt invited. She said 'we need a break from each other today"...Additionally, her mother told her "you boyfriends not gonna be there, go hit on any guy u want" and she just laughed (i got inside info haha)

whats going on?

 

[wjh]

whats going on is she controls the frame - if you don't reclaim it this is doomed to end poorly

 

[War Against Betaism]

It really wasnt that bad but i still said sorry , sorry, sorry. She just said NO.

You should have walked away first, this little phrase here really stands out. If anything you should have said sorry once, and if she still said no, be like "fvck that I'm out" or something. Though from my impression you repeatedly apologized. By saying sorry multiple times you're giving her value. How much sorries is she worth...it should have only been one, if none at all.

 

[KontrollerX]

I for the life of me cannot understand why you young guys need a girlfriend.

Can't you just be happy with yourself and love yourself and just hookup with random chicks?

Do you really need the validation of a girlfriend in your life?

And if you really feel you need that why do you select the worst possible candidates for girlfriends and remain with them???

This chick here is a prime example of a bad candidate to make a girlfriend.

She has issues where she needs drama and fighting to feel alive and you put up with it likely because you view her as your only source of pvssy that you cannot lose (AFC scarcity mentality at its finest) then when its finally and mercifully over in one way or another you repeat the cycle again with someother awful relationship candidate because she was the first chick since the breakup to say yes to being your girlfriend.

No selection process.

No filtering out the crap and going for the gold.

Pure AFC scarcity mentality and low value view of yourself ie take what you can get mindset.

Unplug brother.

Become a DJ, get some options, spin some plates and do it right by making sure all the new girls you generate as options know up front that you are dating other chicks in addition to them as that is just the way you have decided to live your life.

Then if one of them proves her worth to you over a long period of time and earns the right to be your sole girlfriend through consistently good behavior towards you through both actions and words you gracefully end the interaction with the other chicks so as to be with the one chick in a committed and healthy relationship.

And you gracefully end the other interactions with the other chicks so as not to burn your bridge with any of them should your relationship with the one girl eventually burn out.

 

[jadeona13]

on a side note...while at the beach she keeps saying .''hot guy over there, and there"
wowww

 

[Desdinova]

All signs are pointing to the fact that she doesn't respect you, and if you don't initiate the breakup, she'll either initiate it or cheat on you.

It's time to move on. Break off the relationship and go read the DJ Bible.

 

[TheBaconator]

on a side note...while at the beach she keeps saying .''hot guy over there, and there"
wowww

What do you got spies on her 24/7? First the mother thing now you know what she's doing at the beach. And instead of going out and having urself a good time your on here analyzing pretty blatant signs that she's looking elsewhere.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Alright, now before I even say anything. I'm just going to tell you about a post I read last night. Someone on here was b*tching about how a lot of guys on this site read the information and advice given to them by others, but still ignore it and then come back after saying "Oh sh*t, you guys were right." Of course we were right. Do you know why? It's because our opinions of your situation are completely analytical. There's no emotion clouding our judgment. Now without a lot of context, it can be hard to give very good advice, but you should still take our suggestions into consideration. So if you're not going to seriously consider what we tell you, don't even bother to read what I'm about to write.

That being said, what I would personally do would be to just walk away. Listen, you've given her the upper hand in this relationship, and now she controls it. The only way for you to get it back is to show her that you really don't care about it and breaking up with would mean nothing to you. I'm not going to lie to you though, there is a chance that she will actually break up with you. But if that were to happen, there'd be one thing that you'd have to do; Not care! Yeah, I know, you're not a robot, but it doesn't matter. Just don't let her know that it affects you. And sh*t, go ahead and flirt with and date other women and make sure that she knows you are! The more she realizes that you don't need her, the more she realizes that SHE needs YOU. Now it might take her a while to realize that, but if you do what I say and JUST STOP CARING about it all, then I'm sure she'll come back to you after.

And all that's assuming that you two even break up. She might give in right away and give you the upper hand.

But seriously dude, what I would do is is just cut all contact with her. Let her be the one to talk, and if her attitude doesn't improve (it won't), then I just tell her that's it's not working out and end it. By breaking it off yourself, you've automatically taken the upper hand in the relationship, even if it does end. Now she'll either accept it calmly (which basically means she doesn't really care anymore), she'll plead with you to stay (If this happens, you have MAJOR upper hand, but from what I've read about your situation, I HIGHLY doubt this will happen) or she might fly off the handle a b*tch for a while (Handle it the DJ way; just be like "alright" and then leave.)

Then just start seeing other women. If you really care about her, you'll date other women. And make sure she knows you're dating other women. If she comes back to you, she's yours. If she doesn't, then you probably didn't listen to my advice.

While writing all that, I've had the distinct feeling that you're not going to listen to any of it. But it doesn't matter, now you'll know for next time.

 

[tihash]

To the OP: I don't know how long you've been with her, your ages, or how serious you guys are, but I've had 2 major LTRs and both went down hill FAST when the girl's mother started talking $hit about me. Huge red flag, among the others that are also apparent.

 

[jadeona13]

im gonna listen to all u guys' advice..it always help..but now shes beggin me not to break up wit her and stuff hehehehe

 

[TheEdgeOf]

im gonna listen to all u guys' advice..it always help..but now shes beggin me not to break up wit her and stuff hehehehe

Hmm... Begging you not to break up with her? Yeah, that sounds about right. Congrats buddy, you've just got the upper hand.

 

[KontrollerX]

Thats because she's the one that wants to do the breaking up so she gets the ego boost as well doesn't have to deal with being the person that was dumped.

Chicks fragile egos cannot handle that.

For them it is win at all costs and being the one to do the getting rid of you as opposed to you getting rid of them is winning in their eyes.

They will be very tricky about this usually though.

AFC's get sucked in and fooled by a chick who is coming around like your girl is now and what I mean by that is once the guy doing the pull away works as in she now magically wants him back all that this means is if you go back with her she will bide her time and pretend all is well in the relationship and once she senses you are hooked on her she will brutally cut you off and be the one to dump you getting her validation and revenge on you for ever considering dumping her.

Dumbass AFC's who get sucked into this trap, fall in love with this kind of piece of garbage instead of outgaming her then they come back to this site after their hearts get broken and blame us for their failure but what they forgot to read or what they outright ignored is us telling them this little extra piece of information here...

Once a chick pulls the "breaks" crap or "I don't share the same feelings" crap and you pull away with no drama and go cold no contact which then in some cases lures her back it is not genuine love interest from her that is bringing her back to you.

It is her ego being wounded in that she feels not as worthwhile as she once did because she thinks in your eyes you were never as hung up on and in love with her as she thought for you to not make any drama and just cut contact and walk away from her so to pull you back in becomes a life or death validation struggle for her and she is angry about you making her feel this way and putting her in this undesireable position so she will punish you by not only luring you back in but making sure you fall in love with her this time so she can break up with you at just the right time when your love is the strongest and she can hurt you the most.

How an AFC wins this battle and does the DJ thing can be to take one of two equally good choices.

Choice #1: Take her back and make her qualify herself to you ie prove her worthiness to be in your life by constantly giving her sh!t tests and work for your time by having her prove her supposed new found desire for you by giving you sex as often as you want it. Since her coming back to you is not genuine love but want to be the one who dumps you keep your eyes open at all times and listen to your gut instinct senses. When you sense things starting to go badly be sure you pull the pre-emptive breakup with her as soon as possible so she doesn't get her ego boost of breaking up with you which is all that she has been after, all this time since coming back to you. If you do everything right and she breaks up with you apparently out of nowhere act unfazed by it all. Not to use any names as I don't want to embarass anyone but there is a chick who comes to this board from time to time who is driven absolutely nuts by her ex not reacting to her when she breaks up with him or he doesn't react when he tries to get back together with her and she denies him. His method of driving her so insane with lust for him is to give her no reaction at all. This giving no reaction will work for you as well.

Choice #2: Don't take her back and instead tell her that she had her chance but you simply cannot deal with a woman that would disrespectfully play games with your heart who is not worthy of your love.

And finally the most important lesson of all...

If you are a guy whose girl has pulled out the "breaks" speech or the "my feelings have changed speech" and you do no contact and she comes back to you remember all that I have said about her just chasing ego validation with the suddenly wanting you back and because of this reason don't you dare, don't even think, miserable little pathetic AFC that you are, that you can ever entertain loving this creature again. Once the breaks speech happens or the my feelings have changed speech makes itself known and said to you this girl has sent the clear message that you mean nothing to her life. She doesn't care about or love you at all nor is she deserving of your love once she says either of these things to you so always remember this and remember to stick purely to games playing with her should you go no contact and she then want you back as a result.

As at that point that no contact is what brings her back she is only playing a game with you to validate her ego and eventually win the game.

To beat her you must be playing a game too that she doesn't know about and that game is using her for her body like she wants to use you for her ego validation and the other half of this game again is you making sure to watch for signs so that you know when its time to pre-emptively breakup with her and keep your power over her before she does this to you and risks beating you at the game. Again you may turn the tables on her even if she pulls the breakup out of nowhere if you give absolutely no emotional reaction to it.

Do not under pain of death give your love to a chick that has used the "breaks" or "my feelings have changed" speech. Cut your love for her off the moment those words have been uttered by her as she has already cut off her love for you. You being an AFC are just too stupid to realize it and emotions are clouding your goddamned judgement my boy.

Man up!

Be cold!!

Win at mind fvcking and you'll be fvcking her until you find someone else on the side who is decent and actually deserves your love!!!

Oh and it is absolutely acceptable to cheat on a chick who has taken you back as the result of you going "no contact" after she gives you one of those two lame speeches.

Remember once you take her back all she is, is a glorified fvck buddy who you are playing a game with the same way she is playing a game with you.

I know I've re-iterated points in this post over and over again but it is for the benefit of AFC's who possess little reading comprehension.

I and the other DJ's are here to help you bastards succeed!

Now get to it.

 

[jadeona13]

u guys are the best..for real..

i absolutely cut off all my feelings for this girl.. shes going to parties and the beach without even inviting me..im doing the same..im going to the beach with 2 girls and a party with some other girl ..without letting her kno..im just gonna say im going with friend..

i wanna tell her ' i think we should just be friends', but she would eitehr get mad at that or say no no no.. but i truly want to. i dont like this girl at all. Everyone tells me i have it good with this girl but i dont and i want out.

"lets just be friends"..will that work?

 

[Beast from the East]

Why do you want to tell her "let's be friends"?? Don't say that.. She mentioned she wanted a break, give it to her!

Tell her:

"That's a great idea, I think we need a break"

 

[KontrollerX]

Yep.

That will sufficiently eat her up inside as it exhibits you no longer find her sexually viable which really takes a chunk out of her ego and knocks her down a peg.

Perfect!

Keep in mind though depending on how severely she has taken the ego hit she will likely try to hook up with you should you find yourself in a vulnerable position at a party or place you are both at in the future then she can try and play with your mind and before you know it you are back on SS telling us about how you and the girl ended up back together you don't know how it happened and now she's dumping you lol these damn chickies can be so tricky.

So remember absolute zero emotional investment towards chicks who have made clear what they think of you which the "breaks" or the "my feelings have changed" speech show quite clearly.

If you two ever end up knocking it out in the future remember her intent with it is not pure so just enjoy the nut you get out of it but put the Valentines Day cards away bro. She and every girl who mentions "breaks" or anything similar is not worthy of your love ever again.

Edit: As for what Beast said about holding her to her word ie she wanted breaks and now you would say you do too yeah thats a viable exit strategy as well as you are holding her to her word and teaching her a lesson that she should keep her word or be careful from now on when she gives it but also controlling the frame ie you giving the LJBF's speech to her will like I said also eat her up inside and it is the DJ way of not letting her set the agenda.

Either one of these will work though.

Up to you which one you want to run with bro.

 

[Beast from the East]

Yeah, listen to Kontroller he speaks the truth.

We men must win this war on the AFC's and attention wh0re's... for the good of the human race we must win this fight.

 

[Infamous_Wolf]

So the other day, i make a comment about my girlfriend that she took seriously but was a joke( i dont remember). It really wasnt that bad but i still said sorry , sorry, sorry. She just said NO. I couldnt stand that sh!t so i took ur advice and just walked away. I was at her house and i took a long walk around the neighborhood with my good friend. She texted me and said "Is ignoring me the way for u to avoid a fight? Come talk to me now"

Stop here. This is the exact point you made the wrong move. This is what you said you did. What you should have replied with was a calm, cool "No, I'd rather not. You are over reacting and I don't have to deal with such disrespect." or something similar.

So we talked and she said im mean to her when we are in groups of people, too flirtacious, and other stuff.

Your description of the situation makes it seem like it was just her telling you everything that you are doing wrong. No. You do NOT put up with this. It might be different if it was a legitimate compaint about some stupid behavior but the things you describe definitely do not merit an apology. When you gave in to her request to talk you handed over control of the situation to her. In any fight with a girlfriend, this is the very last thing you want to do.

My personal evaluation of this relationship is that it's been over but you still don't see it yet. you're still together, but for all intents and purposes, she does not like you anymore. I know because I used to do the same thing. I always gave in to my girlfriend in a fight, I felt like I needed her. We were together for a year and a half. But guess what? She cheated on me with 5 different guys several times over a 9 month period. So for basically half the relationship, there was no relationship. It was me "loving" her and her ****ing other guys.

I can't tell you if she's with someone else, but I would personally recommend you cut off this relationship ASAP. Do you intend on marrying this woman? raising a kid with her? You are young, you have your entire life ahead of you. But that entire life is going to SUCK if you don't get your act together. Start investing in to yourself. You need to start coming first in your life. Get some stylish clothes, don't be afraid to venture outside of your normal shopping spots. You never know what kind of awesome stuff you might find elsewhere. Start working out, going on runs REGULARLY. read the DJ bible. Re-read. If you don't quite get something, keep reading and practicing until you do. EVOLVE

 

[Dole]

Thats because she's the one that wants to do the breaking up so she gets the ego boost as well doesn't have to deal with being the person that was dumped.

Chicks fragile egos cannot handle that.

For them it is win at all costs and being the one to do the getting rid of you as opposed to you getting rid of them is winning in their eyes.

They will be very tricky about this usually though.

AFC's get sucked in and fooled by a chick who is coming around like your girl is now and what I mean by that is once the guy doing the pull away works as in she now magically wants him back all that this means is if you go back with her she will bide her time and pretend all is well in the relationship and once she senses you are hooked on her she will brutally cut you off and be the one to dump you getting her validation and revenge on you for ever considering dumping her.

Dumbass AFC's who get sucked into this trap, fall in love with this kind of piece of garbage instead of outgaming her then they come back to this site after their hearts get broken and blame us for their failure but what they forgot to read or what they outright ignored is us telling them this little extra piece of information here...

Once a chick pulls the "breaks" crap or "I don't share the same feelings" crap and you pull away with no drama and go cold no contact which then in some cases lures her back it is not genuine love interest from her that is bringing her back to you.

It is her ego being wounded in that she feels not as worthwhile as she once did because she thinks in your eyes you were never as hung up on and in love with her as she thought for you to not make any drama and just cut contact and walk away from her so to pull you back in becomes a life or death validation struggle for her and she is angry about you making her feel this way and putting her in this undesireable position so she will punish you by not only luring you back in but making sure you fall in love with her this time so she can break up with you at just the right time when your love is the strongest and she can hurt you the most.

How an AFC wins this battle and does the DJ thing can be to take one of two equally good choices.

Choice #1: Take her back and make her qualify herself to you ie prove her worthiness to be in your life by constantly giving her sh!t tests and work for your time by having her prove her supposed new found desire for you by giving you sex as often as you want it. Since her coming back to you is not genuine love but want to be the one who dumps you keep your eyes open at all times and listen to your gut instinct senses. When you sense things starting to go badly be sure you pull the pre-emptive breakup with her as soon as possible so she doesn't get her ego boost of breaking up with you which is all that she has been after, all this time since coming back to you. If you do everything right and she breaks up with you apparently out of nowhere act unfazed by it all. Not to use any names as I don't want to embarass anyone but there is a chick who comes to this board from time to time who is driven absolutely nuts by her ex not reacting to her when she breaks up with him or he doesn't react when he tries to get back together with her and she denies him. His method of driving her so insane with lust for him is to give her no reaction at all. This giving no reaction will work for you as well.

Choice #2: Don't take her back and instead tell her that she had her chance but you simply cannot deal with a woman that would disrespectfully play games with your heart who is not worthy of your love.

And finally the most important lesson of all...

If you are a guy whose girl has pulled out the "breaks" speech or the "my feelings have changed speech" and you do no contact and she comes back to you remember all that I have said about her just chasing ego validation with the suddenly wanting you back and because of this reason don't you dare, don't even think, miserable little pathetic AFC that you are, that you can ever entertain loving this creature again. Once the breaks speech happens or the my feelings have changed speech makes itself known and said to you this girl has sent the clear message that you mean nothing to her life. She doesn't care about or love you at all nor is she deserving of your love once she says either of these things to you so always remember this and remember to stick purely to games playing with her should you go no contact and she then want you back as a result.

As at that point that no contact is what brings her back she is only playing a game with you to validate her ego and eventually win the game.

To beat her you must be playing a game too that she doesn't know about and that game is using her for her body like she wants to use you for her ego validation and the other half of this game again is you making sure to watch for signs so that you know when its time to pre-emptively breakup with her and keep your power over her before she does this to you and risks beating you at the game. Again you may turn the tables on her even if she pulls the breakup out of nowhere if you give absolutely no emotional reaction to it.

Do not under pain of death give your love to a chick that has used the "breaks" or "my feelings have changed" speech. Cut your love for her off the moment those words have been uttered by her as she has already cut off her love for you. You being an AFC are just too stupid to realize it and emotions are clouding your goddamned judgement my boy.

Man up!

Be cold!!

Win at mind fvcking and you'll be fvcking her until you find someone else on the side who is decent and actually deserves your love!!!

Oh and it is absolutely acceptable to cheat on a chick who has taken you back as the result of you going "no contact" after she gives you one of those two lame speeches.

Remember once you take her back all she is, is a glorified fvck buddy who you are playing a game with the same way she is playing a game with you.

I know I've re-iterated points in this post over and over again but it is for the benefit of AFC's who possess little reading comprehension.

I and the other DJ's are here to help you bastards succeed!

Now get to it.

I fvcking love you! ( no homo )

 

[jadeona13]

another thing i'd like to mention..may sound AFC or whatever,,but its a big issue for me..

i want to break up with her and stuff but i always picture her in bed with another guy...it like haunts my mind...she very attractive and can get any guy she wants and just picturing her donig sexual things with another guy kills me inside..althought i try not to show it..i told her i wouldnt care if i saw caught her doing stuff with another guy after we broke up too and she almsot cried and asid she would car and be soo sad....i would definitely care, i just told her i wouldnt..

how do u guys deal with that?

 

[ChapStick]

KontrollerX is my hero!! You are awesome my friend!