Uh-oh...when she gives you 'the talk'

[Austin Allegro]

I know there was a post on this but I can't find it - apologies.

What is the best way to deal with 'the talk' - you know, when a woman says 'where is this relationship going'/'what do you think of me' etc.

I'm pretty sure the answer should be non-committal but what are the best exact words to use? Presumably if you want an LTR you need to say somthing different to if you just want to keep on being non-exclusive?

 

[Caveman]

Like you said: Depends on where YOU want it to go..

 

[squirrels]

How old are you, how old is she, and how long have you been going out?

BTW, questions like, "Where is this relationship going?" are bullsh*t questions. She wants something but she's afraid to ask for/about it because she feels uncomfortable doing so. Usually it's some kind of marriage/commitment.

I'll tell you the way *I* have come to think about it, if it's worth anything to you. If you make "plans" for the relationship, the more you find out about her, the more you're together, the more things that happen in life, your "plans" will probably change. That's why so many older singles are troubled...they see their friends get married, so rather than find a man and build a relationship, they create the relationship first and then look for a man to fit it. And we as men change all the time.

It doesn't sound like that in this case, not completely anyway. But she wants something from you that she's not getting. What you do depends on whether you're ready to give it to her. If it's marriage, do you feel comfortable commiting to her for the rest of her/your life? If it's just "being steady," the same question applies, do you WANT her to enter into those things in your life a girlfriend would join you in? Are you happy spending time with her, calling her, doing those kinds of things?

 

[Cheiradawg]

This one maybe???

 

[EternalBachelor]

Awkward questions. What I love doing when I get horrid questions like this is just to say lightly "Why do you ask?". Perhaps use a slightly quizzical or suspicious expression. Then if she has an agenda she will either reveal it immediately or stop pestering you. Plus the pressure is now on her rather than you.

Plus she probably knows exactly where the relationship is going, as women tend to orchestrate most relationships-for example women are more likely to dump men than vice-versa, and women are more likely to pressure subtely for an engagement and marriage etc.

In the end just do what feels right. And if you want out for any reason don't feel guilty. All is fair in love and war.