DoubleA said:
If this guy is attracted to her, and she is second guessing of whether she's attracted to him...at what point does he a fall back (Victory Unlimited)?
Sorry DOUBLE A, but Victory's military euphimisms don't carry a lot of water with me. If your asking when is the best time to do a takeaway, as a pragmatist I'll tell you after the 3rd date. That's not to say give up and forget about her, that's not to say NEXT her out of hand, but it is to say explore your other options and spend time with different plates you have spinning and/or go spin more. When it is COVERTLY communicated to a woman that you have, and will explore, other options the value of your attention goes up. Too much circulation makes the price go down - increase value through scarcity. Whereas before she may have seen you as the fall-back guy warming up in the bullpen, when you walk away from her game unexpectedly and seemingly arbitrarily, you remove that easily available attention from her and her imagination begins to work for you. Now your attention has increased value since she makes the connection that your attention is in demand and something to be competed for (i.e. self-generated social proof). Remember, we only chase what runs away from us. And in the event she doesn't chase, then you're not wasting any more time or effort on a bad investment.
italostud said:
So what you're saying then is, Rollo, that the only way to find the perfect relationship is when the woman sleeps with you straight away?
If a woman holds out on you it means that she will never open up 100% to you?
Try not to think of this in binary terms (all or nothing, on or off, black or white). There is no such thing as a "perfect" relationship, that's an idealism, but a woman with an 80% IL is still going to fukk you. Read what I typed to DOUBLE A above. You have to make the judgement of whether or not it's a waste of your time or not. Just keep things in perspective. I'm telling you an uncomfortable truth here, the vast majority of LTRs in western culture aren't based on mutual desire as much as they are a woman's need for security. So you can have an LTR with someone who's initially not that into you, but personally I'd rather be a woman's first choice and priority, not her second best alternate.
Up to this point you've been more concerned with this girl's words and attitude; it's time to observe the behavior and see the meanings behind it. Guy's love to tell me how their getting 'mixed messages' froma girl - there is no such thing as mixed messages. Women tell you everything you need to know if you can only see past your own interest (or desperation) with their actions, their implied meanings, their subcommunications etc. Women are natural masters of COVERT communications, you have to master this too to understand them. There are no mixed messages only missed interpretations. Women will fukk. She might not fukk you, she might not fukk me, but she will fukk somebody. You just need to be the right guy at the right time.
