U Guys Were Right But...

[Kricket]

First off let me say U guys were right.

U guys told me to get her # as soon as possible, I didnt, now things arn't like i wanted em to.

I want to know how badly Ive messed up and if things can get fixed, This time I'll listen.

Heres my situation in a nutshell:

Last school semester:
Mid Feb: make incidental eye contact w/girl. Start taking notice of her start digging her
late April: Begin talking to girl after were walking side by side and she says hi right as I turn to say hi to her.
May: Walk with her after every class. Get some good signs from her most noticeably we often gazed in each others eyes for long periods of time while walking, overall good positive vibes.
Last Day of Class: After class I go in line to sell my book, I know shes behind me so I just glance over after I'm in line, and shes looking at me, we see each other smile, she walks over to me. She says she'll wait in line with me and asks me if i could check how much theyd give her for her book, so we do all that. After I ask what shes doin she says she gotta pack up her stuff to leave home, so I walk her to her dorm, casual cool convo find out a little about her personal life. Big Mistake #1 I dont get her # or E-mail

Aight next semester:
Big school and I dont see her until a month and a half into semester. She was walking with a female friend, so I walk up to em and at first its cool she looks happy to see me she introduces me to her friend, I accompany them on their walk which ended up being pretty short. I remember she said, "its been a long time since I've seen u". Perfect time to tell her we should hangout u know. Big Mistake #2 I start talking about the class we had how she did etc. We didnt walk much longer theyre stop came up quick I was caught off guard and Big Mistake #3 I kept on walking and didnt ask for her E-mail so we can get together as we rarely see each other.

I then see her about 3 weeks later she was walking with a group of female friends, she just waves to me This was the first time of me seeing her and not talking to her which was kinda weird.

About a month later I see her again, this time she was walking in front of me talking to a dude now and another girl walking with them. When I get within talking distance I just say her name, and just smile and say hey, and she waves to me again and thats it no words.

Obviously the Interest Level is way down I can feel it, we dont see each other for a month and she doesnt say anything to me, but the thing is I dont either. I just want to catch her at a time when shes not with anybody. But I dont know what to do now it doesnt feel special anymore. I been playin it too safe and been depending on fate. I am reacting instead of acting. What I want to know is if its too late?

I want to start fresh with this but is it possible, right now were at the level of casual friends, and I know I'm the one that got us their but can I get us out?

suggestions/comments bring em on

 

[joey37]

What is a "guyses'?

 

[TesuqueRed]

Sorry, guy, it's over. If you try to start things now, you'll give off the scent of desperation. She'll probably resent it that now you're making a move--4 or 6 or 8 months too too late, when she made it easy for you before. She now thinks you're probably ball-less, or a boy--and not ready for her.

You can try, but I think it would only be compounding failure. I know from having been there before. Now I know early on whether I want to make a move or not--but I know that if I don't make a move early and let the opportunity slip--and you can feel slip away, too--that it's going forever.

This is true even of the high IL ones. I think once you start getting some quality women interested in you, their high IL doesn't mean they'll hang around all that long waiting for you to do something. You get one good offer from them--take it or not. Anything other that stepping up and taking that opportunity = "not" in their mind. Your lack of making a move signals to them that you're not quality enough for them, so they know to move on pretty quickly after that.

But that's my experience.

So make a decision and don't look back. You made a not very good one awhile back, it's probably largely out of your hands now. That "compounding failure" thing I mentioned above--you really have to watch that here since you're now "behind in the count", so to speak, and probably tensing up, too. It'd be better to find someone new and start fresh.

 

[Kricket]

TesuqueRed

TesuqueRed

Thanks for replying. You have a lot of good points. My reasoning to how I got in this situation was this thing I read about Confident Persistence you've probably heard about it. Ive been playing it cool with her since the beginning and I think the CP strategy would have worked really well, I just didnt count on the lack of times we see each other. Its the whole outta site outta mind thing. I think if we actually had a chance to have a one on one convo again and get the whole eye gazing thing back, everything would be back to normal, and then once that connection we had is re-established I can get her # on a high note and get this relationship on its way.
Its just that the last couple times ive seen her, I havent had that chance to really talk to her in an unhurried or uninterrupted convo.
Damn I knew the 1st time we saw each other this year I messed up to not get contact info, I was just caught off guard cuz she had to go so quickly.
The thing is I havent done anything AFC, I dont cling to her or anything like that. My thing is if I see her and shes not busy I'll go talk to her. If I see her and she is busy with a bunch of people then I'll just walk by and say hey.
I think that definetely we can still get something going, its just probably going to have to be a long-term plan. I'm going to stick with this, but I'm going to have to put her on the side for the time being and get other options going in the meantime.

What do you think

 

[Luscious]

Originally posted by TesuqueRed
Sorry, guy, it's over. If you try to start things now, you'll give off the scent of desperation. She'll probably resent it that now you're making a move--4 or 6 or 8 months too too late, when she made it easy for you before. She now thinks you're probably ball-less, or a boy--and not ready for her.

You can try, but I think it would only be compounding failure. I know from having been there before. Now I know early on whether I want to make a move or not--but I know that if I don't make a move early and let the opportunity slip--and you can feel slip away, too--that it's going forever.

This is true even of the high IL ones. I think once you start getting some quality women interested in you, their high IL doesn't mean they'll hang around all that long waiting for you to do something. You get one good offer from them--take it or not. Anything other that stepping up and taking that opportunity = "not" in their mind. Your lack of making a move signals to them that you're not quality enough for them, so they know to move on pretty quickly after that.

But that's my experience.

So make a decision and don't look back. You made a not very good one awhile back, it's probably largely out of your hands now. That "compounding failure" thing I mentioned above--you really have to watch that here since you're now "behind in the count", so to speak, and probably tensing up, too. It'd be better to find someone new and start fresh.

Was just perusing TR's posts and this reply is SPOT ON. Needs a bump to the top for sure.

 

[blue17]

I would move on with one. I know you won't, because you are hopeful there will be that chance she is still interested, but don't hold your breath. We all have to experience this once and see the truth in our own situation, no matter how many times we hear it from others. Speaking from personal experience on a situation almost identical to this, don't invest much mental effort on this. Most likely she has lost interest in you by now, and getting yourself wrapped on this chick is only gonna hurt you in the future. Give it a shot, if you must...but don't expect anything you want to happen.

 

[Skweints]

Most likely if you make an attempt now, you will fail... not because you waited too long. More so because you realize what your mistakes are, and now that you know what to do, you're going to come at her unnaturally. That's MOSTLY what causes people to fail in these types of situation. You might be able to get her number and start seeing her more often if you catch her at a party or gathering where you can talk to her a bit, mention how you were too busy and didn't think to ask her number. The key is doing it confidently and naturally. If you try to pull it off as she's passing by, you'll appear desperate and unnatural. Your best bet is to have another girl you are dating, and if you just so happen to show up at a party where this other girl is, you'll be able to pull it off perfectly... your mind won't be on trying to get with her because you already have a girl in the background.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Don't bother getting the number in school.

Use social proof and hang out after-school right away..numbers will just make her feel important.