u call she says 'can u call back later cos shes busy' call back when/say what?

[big weezy]

I've encountered this problem a lot, you get a HBs number u call she doesn't know who it is, u tell her she tells u 'can u call back later? I've got someone who's just popped round' what do u say in.response? Obviously don't call back later but if u tell her to call u back she may not and u dnt want to put a 1st call in her court. I imagine this is a brsh off and she just won't pick up later. When do I call again? In 2days?

 

[boomerick]

I'm inclined to advise, in this situation, to never call back and NEXT the chick....she's not interested in you at all.....but...I'm curious to see what others advise.

 

[Igetit!]

I've encountered this problem a lot, you get a HBs number u call she doesn't know who it is, u tell her she tells u 'can u call back later?

If she doesn't know who you are when you call her,then she either had 5 or 6 other guys approach her the same day you did,or you quite simply didn't make a good enough impression on her during the approach.

And my guess would be the latter.

So if this has happened to you as frequently as you say,then you might want to go and have a look at the way you approach women.


There's a good chance that there's something you're doing (or NOT doing) that's causing this to happen.

I've got someone who's just popped round' what do u say in.response?

Well,what can you say?

When you first approach a girl,she's neutral,but the way you approach her will either push her towards liking you or not liking you.


If you have to jog her memory to remind her who you are,and when she does finally remember the first thing she tells you is to call her back "later" without giving a definate time or saying she'd call you back,that should be a clue right there as to how effective your approach was.


She didn't even remember you. Uh...hello?


If you couldn't make a good enough impression on her during the approach WHEN SHE STARTED OUT AS NEUTRAL,how are you going to do it in a 2 minute phonecall,AFTER her giving you signs of disinterest?


"Call me back later/I'm busy" are IODs (Indicators Of Dinterest). They are THE RESULTS of mistakes or errors made in the approach.



Whether you realize it or not,you're trying to UNDO whatever it was you did wrong when you approached her. It's not that it can't be done,but it's unlikely it'll be corrected by phone because the girl won't give you time to work. I mean as soon as she realized who it was she was speaking to,she got off the phone.

Obviously don't call back later but if u tell her to call u back she may not and u dnt want to put a 1st call in her court. I imagine this is a brsh off and she just won't pick up later. When do I call again? In 2days?

You can call her back whenever you want,but she'll most likely just not answer the phone if she recognizes it's you calling.


I'd just forget her,examine how I approached her to learn what NOT TO DO AGAIN,then take what I've learned into the next approach.

 

[cletus]

She's testing you. Just ask her.......Whens a good time to call?

 

[cletus]

lol.......some of you guys are WAY to quick to next. That situation is very easy to get around.

 

[Igetit!]

She's testing you. Just ask her.......Whens a good time to call?

She's NOT testing him.

How can she test him if she doesn't even know who he is? He had to jog her memory for her to even who she was speaking to.

She'd have to at least be around the dude first in order to test him,and besides,he should WANT TO BE TESTED.


A girl testing you is an IOI of sorts. It means she doesn't yet know what type of guy you are. So the very fact that she's even taking the time to test you in the first place means she's at least interested in knowing more about you.

And she can't do that unless she's in your presense,or you two have some sort of ongoing communication .



Asking her when he should call her isn't bad,but it shouldn't be done in response to her giving an IOD.

Instead of asking her when I should call her,I'd TELL HER what time I'm going to call. That way I'm still in the driver's seat instead of waiting for her to call,especially since she's "so busy" as she says.



I agree that there are a lot of guys here to instantly say to next a girl,but I'M NOT ONE OF THEM.

I rarely say to next a girl,and I wouldn't have said it here except for the circumstances Big Weezy laid out.


If he were asking what to say to her the next time he sees her in person,I wouldn't have said to next her,but this is a girl giving him IODs from the VER FIRST TIME he called her.


If she's not willing to speak to him on the phone,then I doubt she'll be willing to meet up with him in person. So if he can't get any communication going with her by phone or in person because SHE'S NOT WILLING,then what other option is there other than nexting?


But hey,maybe I'm missing something here. You (Cletus) say that this situation big weezy is in is "easy" to get around. Well fine then. Enlighten us.


Tell us how this should be handled. That way Big Weezy will get his date and the rest of us will learn something new.

 

[Julian]

You should have been like "hey hold on do you even KNOW who this is?" I mean guys are soo puzzy these days they wont even flat out ask people stuff just to get to the truth, all feelings aside. I mean talk to the girl like you already know her. If you called an old friend and they didnt recognize you, you would be like "Hello, I know we know who this is!" Drop a quick reminder to job their memory and there ya go. If she was just like "call me later" I would be like "no this is so and so from blabla remember me? hey girl look i was just saying whats up, so you have my number so call me back or throw me a text". Thats all you need to say.

The problem is you left this out in the open, where you dont really know wtf is going on and she doesnt either (or refuses to acknowledge that she does). Either way you've been mind fukked already.


Ive gone through my phone and sent a pic to just random chicks whos numbers I had. Just took a pic sent it like "hey its Julian, whats up?" Had a pretty good return rate.

 

[big_weezy]

If she doesn't know who you are when you call her,then she either had 5 or 6 other guys approach her the same day you did,or you quite simply didn't make a good enough impression on her during the approach.

And my guess would be the latter.

So if this has happened to you as frequently as you say,then you might want to go and have a look at the way you approach women.


There's a good chance that there's something you're doing (or NOT doing) that's causing this to happen.



Well,what can you say?

When you first approach a girl,she's neutral,but the way you approach her will either push her towards liking you or not liking you.


If you have to jog her memory to remind her who you are,and when she does finally remember the first thing she tells you is to call her back "later" without giving a definate time or saying she'd call you back,that should be a clue right there as to how effective your approach was.


She didn't even remember you. Uh...hello?


If you couldn't make a good enough impression on her during the approach WHEN SHE STARTED OUT AS NEUTRAL,how are you going to do it in a 2 minute phonecall,AFTER her giving you signs of disinterest?


"Call me back later/I'm busy" are IODs (Indicators Of Dinterest). They are THE RESULTS of mistakes or errors made in the approach.



Whether you realize it or not,you're trying to UNDO whatever it was you did wrong when you approached her. It's not that it can't be done,but it's unlikely it'll be corrected by phone because the girl won't give you time to work. I mean as soon as she realized who it was she was speaking to,she got off the phone.


You can call her back whenever you want,but she'll most likely just not answer the phone if she recognizes it's you calling.


I'd just forget her,examine how I approached her to learn what NOT TO DO AGAIN,then take what I've learned into the next approach.

Thanks for your advice you make a lot of sense. on a side note, could you advise me on 2 other scenarios?

Friday night i went to a house party and number closed 2 HBs however this was risky as the room was quite small as it was in an apartment and the girls friends must have seen me number close each of the individual girls as they were behind or around the room at the time.

the issue is that 1 was into me from the beginning and she ended up talking to the hottest girl at the party, when i went up to both of them she told me that they were from the same town/country and they only just met and she's the first person she's met from her town since she's been here. they obviously became friends exchanged numbers etc, i carried on talking to the hottest woman at the party as the other 1 got distracted and walked away talkign to someone else.

i carried on talking to the hot HB who was drunk as hell, i got her number but she was so drunk i think she tried a fake number thing cos she hesistated as she was reciting her number to me putting it 1 digit out, but she was like 'oh i think its 388 or is it 688' the least 3 digits and said she didnt know her number which is BS probably, i miss called it and it didint ring but she didnt panic (prob happened to her before) so i gave her mine and she miss called me and told me to call her next time im down (i said i'd take her to some place on her street she's never neen to) then kissed her goodbye. my original target may have saw but what happened after suggests not. everyone was leaving the party i stood behind a pillar as she came by i said we should exchange numbers, and SHE suggested i show her that bar i mentioned (in other words she asked me out) so thats good, but here's the bad bit. I call the fake number HB 1st last night at 10pm 2 days after the party, no pick up no call back.

today (3 days after the party) i call at 1pm the original HB who was on me. no pick up either. In my experience if the women dont pick up.. i dont get a call back.. i can't explain why! especially since that one asked me out! i know people are busy working etc but i never get calls backs or pick ups.. i cant understand why even when they show high IL. Is it likely the 2 women were told by their friends that i got numbers off each of them?

they went to a club i think together with the rest of the house party people. what would you suggest would be next move? i dont think its fair i cant call both girls its not as if im committed to either of them yet they both write u off cos u got both theri numbers at the same party and they know each other.

 

[big_weezy]

She's NOT testing him.

How can she test him if she doesn't even know who he is? He had to jog her memory for her to even who she was speaking to.

She'd have to at least be around the dude first in order to test him,and besides,he should WANT TO BE TESTED.


A girl testing you is an IOI of sorts. It means she doesn't yet know what type of guy you are. So the very fact that she's even taking the time to test you in the first place means she's at least interested in knowing more about you.

And she can't do that unless she's in your presense,or you two have some sort of ongoing communication .



Asking her when he should call her isn't bad,but it shouldn't be done in response to her giving an IOD.

Instead of asking her when I should call her,I'd TELL HER what time I'm going to call. That way I'm still in the driver's seat instead of waiting for her to call,especially since she's "so busy" as she says.



I agree that there are a lot of guys here to instantly say to next a girl,but I'M NOT ONE OF THEM.

I rarely say to next a girl,and I wouldn't have said it here except for the circumstances Big Weezy laid out.


If he were asking what to say to her the next time he sees her in person,I wouldn't have said to next her,but this is a girl giving him IODs from the VER FIRST TIME he called her.


If she's not willing to speak to him on the phone,then I doubt she'll be willing to meet up with him in person. So if he can't get any communication going with her by phone or in person because SHE'S NOT WILLING,then what other option is there other than nexting?


But hey,maybe I'm missing something here. You (Cletus) say that this situation big weezy is in is "easy" to get around. Well fine then. Enlighten us.


Tell us how this should be handled. That way Big Weezy will get his date and the rest of us will learn something new.

Second scenario. After that party i went to a birthday party and met this gorgeous HB who was so happy to meet me because we spent the past year in the same study abroad program but we never crossed paths so were reminicising about our good times there. she felt close to me because i reminded her of all the good feelings nad times she had there.

problem was the birthday party we went to was my friends friends who i knew the brother of and i didnt know the score between the 2 of them. he brought her to the party, he introduced me to her i didnt know they were together. i think they were in the 'seeing' each other phase.

he kept coming back round pouring her drinks so i was conflicted as to whether she was seeing him or not, i had my arm around her back kino'ing her and she didnt flinch, she clearly wanted me to kiss her but i pvssied out cos i was caught in 2 minds, its not excuse.. i spent 2 hours talking to her and didnt go in for the kiss, everytime i got the courage to do it, some shmo came over to c0ckblock me and talk to her so i had to sit back and wait till they finished. i think she lost respect for me for not kiss closing her, does that mean its over?

something didn't seem right, it felt right but i didnt do it, so its no excuse i should have kissed her regardless she was primed. will her interest in me disappear now cos i didn't do it?

after she left with him. all she told me was that she came with that guy but never said she was with him (obviously cos she was interested in me)

i felt sh1tty on saturday so i texted her to meet up with her friend to meet me and my friends. she was moving house and only came back to help her folks move she went back to college out of town yesterday, shes not far away though only about an hours drive. but is it too late?

should i mention why i didnt kiss her? or just say 'i want to see her to make up for friday' if she asks me 'make up for what' be vague and tell her to figure it out herself using her feminine ways?

the other guy was p1ssed cos outside he was talking to my friend saying how i was trying to pick up his girl but he did accept that if shes open to me picking her up then maybe he should step aside. but i f'd up by not kiss closing her when she was primed that i probably gave her to him. however yesterday him and his bro called my friend and i think he was a bit angry but was kinda accepting about it all, my friend didn't really say much about it except just go for it 'do what u gotta do' i dont know what happened aftewards when she left with the guy. he shouldnt have introduced me to her in the first place.

 

[cletus]

She's NOT testing him.

How can she test him if she doesn't even know who he is? He had to jog her memory for her to even who she was speaking to.

She'd have to at least be around the dude first in order to test him,and besides,he should WANT TO BE TESTED.


A girl testing you is an IOI of sorts. It means she doesn't yet know what type of guy you are. So the very fact that she's even taking the time to test you in the first place means she's at least interested in knowing more about you.

And she can't do that unless she's in your presense,or you two have some sort of ongoing communication .



Asking her when he should call her isn't bad,but it shouldn't be done in response to her giving an IOD.

Instead of asking her when I should call her,I'd TELL HER what time I'm going to call. That way I'm still in the driver's seat instead of waiting for her to call,especially since she's "so busy" as she says.



I agree that there are a lot of guys here to instantly say to next a girl,but I'M NOT ONE OF THEM.

I rarely say to next a girl,and I wouldn't have said it here except for the circumstances Big Weezy laid out.


If he were asking what to say to her the next time he sees her in person,I wouldn't have said to next her,but this is a girl giving him IODs from the VER FIRST TIME he called her.


If she's not willing to speak to him on the phone,then I doubt she'll be willing to meet up with him in person. So if he can't get any communication going with her by phone or in person because SHE'S NOT WILLING,then what other option is there other than nexting?


But hey,maybe I'm missing something here. You (Cletus) say that this situation big weezy is in is "easy" to get around. Well fine then. Enlighten us.


Tell us how this should be handled. That way Big Weezy will get his date and the rest of us will learn something new.

That was my mistake. I didn't read his post very well and concentrated on the title itself. It could still be a test, but if it happens all the time then your right his game just ain't tight enough.

Showing disinterest can be a form of a test. Maybe she wants to see how you'll handle it. If you play it cool or fall apart. You can still turn it around at that point. I have a rule.........always assume she's interested. I NEVER take anything a girl does as disinterest. Does Kobe Bryant ever take a shot and not think he's going to make it? Thats always my mentality. So if that happened to me and a girl pulled the whole.....I don't remember you...I'd just playfully say.......Don't play dumb with me.....then if she does remember you and was messing with you she'll let you know. In his case however that probably wouldn't work, he needs to make a better first impression.

See I don't like telling her when your going to call in response too.....I'm busy can you call back later? In that case I would ask her whens a good time cause if I told her then what would stop her from pulling that again next time? If you get a good time from her to call then she really has no excuse to not talk too you.