"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Typical scenerio in highschool

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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intrextrovert

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I'm gonna say something that many people may disagree with. In high school, cold approaching is usually NO. However, it's pretty easy to get in contact with girls in high school normally.

If she's in your class just sit next to her one time, or say hi when you see her in the hall or something. Strike up a conversation about the class or something relevant. I'm gonna assume you know eachothers names.

At lunch if she's alone, i dunno. If other tables are full just head over and ask if a seat's taken, then sit down and eat/talk.

For most girls, you can find a way to get to know them without cold approaching. Ask your buddies about if they know her or something, or chill with friends that chill with her, etc. High schoolers are all connected somehow.
 

Captain

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I see a lot of guys saying it's bad to cold approach in high school. Not true.

Meeting girls through mutual friends, in your classes, and at parties is all great, but you can't sit around and wait for outside influences to get you in a position to talk to a girl.

You don't want to waste time waiting to be introduced, or waiting for a party that she might be at. You need to make your own opportunities.

1. "Hey, I haven't seen/talked you before, what's your name?".

2. Make a comment to her. If she says something dumb, tease her.
 

Spade

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Dude be an Alpha Male n remember this..

"You are not part of someone elses reality, they are a part of yours"

So u dnt even have to be introduced...make your balls the heaviest part of your body n cold approach her... start up a conversation like the one suggested above...its easy son
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Hughman

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American high schools bemuses me. How can you not know girls in your class?

I know every single person by name in my year, and at least 50% of the two years below me, and the two years above (that have now left). Admittedly it's an all-guys college, but the female college we are associated with, I know probably half the names of girls in my year, and a quarter of the year above and below.

'Cold' approaching technically doesn't happen in school, as you have common links with just about everyone.

Get the eye contact, smile, try to get a smile back, and approach nice ans slow, chest out, chin up. Have fun with her. I know it's hard when you don't know her, but avoid convos about school unless it's something non-academic. You don't want to be creepy though - a girl waiting for people is going to be distracted and will want to run off. A girl by herself whilst eating or saying browsing a shelf in your library is fair game as it's plausible to talk to her.
 

jeffthechef

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To hughman...I don't know how big your class sizes are in whatever country you're in...but i think american class sizes are big, and getting bigger because of education cuts by the gov't that will continue to expand...i do see your point...until 8th grade...my whole grade level only had 60 people...i went to high school and we had 450-500...at my school, everyone admits they dont recognize some people in the same grade...no matter how good looking..it just happens..and my friend in california told me his grade level reached a thousand...so you'll never meet everybody...

To the OP...here's how i approach *at school*
1. Walk over...if she's standing, for example at her locker, get into a comfortable position...lean on the lockers, side by side to her...if she's sitting at a table, sit down, SIDE BY SIDE...if she's walking to class, walk next to her SIDE BY SIDE...I read it somewhere on this site...i think it was a thread by POOK or someone's signature..."A real man stands side by side with his lady; he doesn't put her in front of him."...side by side is less invasive and more laid back...which is good for cold approaches at school..main thing though, side by side and COMFORT...

2. Say hi/hello/hey...she'll probably do the same...

3. How's it going/How are you doing/ What's up...

4. SMALL AND SHORT TALK...not long and hard like some other things heh...couple sentences is enough...

5. I got this line in the dj bible..."Hey..i have to get going now...let me give you a call sometimes..what's your number?" it was some variation of that...too lazy to find link...but you get the gist...it shows you are a busy person...you demand, not ask, for her number subtly.

THAT EASY...this is basically what every cold approach thread says...don't use pick up lines..don't try to do some fancy ****...you're not david copperfield.....

dont think of it as a cold approach...think of it as you talking to someone new...sorta like striking up a conversation with someone wiating in line, that you have never met before, at a fast food place or something....there's no pressure..
 

Hughman

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Damn, a 1000 people per year? Sweet Jesus, I thought we had it bad when secondary schools (7-11th or 7-13th grade) has 2000 kids+.

On a side note, my school has about 800 guys, so about 100 per year, similar with all the schools in my area. No more than 1500 per school, anyway.
 

Devon

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If she is giving you IOIs, you approach

Introduce yourself, " Hey whats your nameblah blah?"shake her hand gently, "My name is blah blah blah blah

Find a conversation topic and start a conversation.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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eaglez1177

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I personally am against cold approaching in high school. Not all, but many girls find that VERY creepy and weird, trust me. The LAST thing you wanna be labeled as in high school is "that creep". You will NEVER touch a girl if you have that label attached to you.
 

base2ball2boy2

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My thoughts

BongDuy- I'm going to assume the cold approach is a little difficult. And when you start out, it is. Don't sweat it. Confidence will come in time and practice.

Nevertheless, I'm on my school newspaper. I needed a club/extracurricular activity for my college resume, and I figured that would be a good idea- my friends and I joined. I've been on it for two years now, and it's a KILLER way to meet the ladies.

Why? It's simple. Say you're writing an article on the new cafeteria prices or something. This gives you the PERFECT excuse for talking to the hot girl in the hallway/your class. Just say:
"Hi. My name is XYZ. I'm writing a newspaper article about the new prices on food in the cafeteria. Can I get a quote about it for my article?" Then smile.

I have never had a single no. People love getting their names published in the paper. Plus you get to learn their name, and you can formally introduce yourself. This way completely avoids all the awkwardness- there's no awkward approach, she's happy to talk to you, and you have something to talk about.

This way has helped me gain a lot of confidence with talking to beautiful women. Like I already said, I've never gotten a single no, and scored dozens of dates in the process.

Good luck
 

TheEnergizer

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base2ball2boy2- that actually sounds like a fun idea, the newspaper itself i mean, not the excuse to approach girls (though it is a very good and and thats a very good side benefit). thats a surefire way to get your name around too. how did you get into that? did you take a journalism class or something? come to think of it, thats what my school has and thats really the only way you'll ever be writing a newspaper article, the school already has a newspaper anway sooo... kinda answered that one on my own lol

but seriously cold approaching is EASY people come on. i disagree with jeffthechef's method, you'll probably come off as creep if you just do that. pook meant that metaphorically dude... it really doesnt matter at all in a literal sense.

but really come nah! it aint hard! common sense people... but i'll offer this to the OP

similar to what b2b2b2 does, you can use opinion openers, or ask a simple question about the surrounding environment (not about her or anything) like wheres room blah, if you missed a day what you did yesterday, idk question about some lunch menu or something idk i cant really think of much right now but you get the point. ask, get the answer, pop whatever else comes to mind at the moment, maybe another question, then thank her and leave. from then youve turned the 'cold approach' (approaching a chick youve never met if you havent figured yet) into a warm approach. now you can say hey hows it goin or something along those lines. another way to turn cold to warm is to get her to know you without actually meeting her, like basically let her see you and youre fun personality through observation like being in her class or something. now when you do go up to her, she wont feel like a stranger just asked her how her day was.

or another thing i'll call vicinity opening (just made that up lol) is that just being near her is a good enough excuse to open, like being behind her in a line, or in the same place getting lab supplies, or even sitting next to her in class... i'm sure you all can easily open her then, thats not creepy right? of course not thats why its a good tactic. of course you dont want to wait for this to happen, i'm sure you all know what happens if you just wait for the right moment. look for ways to get near her, like timing when you both get in a lunch line or something, so that you 'happen' to get in right behind her. nothin wierd about it and no ones spying on you so no one will ever know of you strategically positioning yourself at the same point and time as her so that you could say something really witty to her to introduce yourself to her. or something like that. after that just think of something to say which.. isnt hard..(hows it goin will do if nothing else, ya dimwit) and your gold.

one last thing, dont lose all hope if shes with a friend or in a group, or is somehow always in a group and never alone, opening groups is easy, its just something that takes a lil more balls than skill to do. and make sure you arent just targeting her, talk to the whole group. easier if you know 1 or more people in the set. all it takes is balls, and a really outgoing attitude so you can get the group to really laugh and respond to you. thats the #1 rule with groups. if you dont have that then i recommend you work on that first. and dont open with 'hows it goin', ladies.. :cool:' (or somethin like that) while shes having a nice conversation with her friends! use somethign that requires the whole group or at least someone to reply with something other than weird looks. like questions, opinions, surveys, stuff like that. then just follow through with that outgoing attitude like i said above.

just have fun and it will never come off as creepy and you'll always be successful. even if you ignore all the above advice and just go up to say hey, with the right attitude, you could pull it off easily, all the time. you probably know what attitude i'm talking about, the one that all of the most outgoing people in the world share, which youve probably observed before from one or more of these people. try to get this basic attitude. you can still keep all your old styles and stuff if you want. i dont care what your style is, fun is the most effective tool you have in your DJ arsenal, and, ultimately, in life. so joke around and stuff like that. as long as youre not a dumbass or have very little social intelligence, or over-analytical/overly serious/boring/too unique/perverted/stalkish/just plain weird youll never become 'that creep'. you'll never come off as weird in youre approaches if you didnt do anything stupid, like something that could creep her out. use common sense.

happy huntin' and good luck with youre approaches. it doesnt take huge balls of steel that take up half your body weight. youre not socially unintelligent or a dumbass. youre not creepy or wierd. realize that and be safe in that fact and approaching is a lot less intimidating. (unless you really are labeled those things, then youre on your own dude)

whoa, that last paragraph was really good, knowing that since youre not a dumbass weirdo, you wont do something stupid if you were bold and didnt hesitate. lol that was the answer i found to that thread anyway, worked wonders so far. what do you dudes think of this magical epiphany? (should i go put this in that thread? i'll give it one more day maybe)

think i covered everything.... the way i always do....very thoroughly lol
 

TheEnergizer

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lol ur right actually its fine if you say it right haha. thats basically my main point here, you dont need a technique, you just need to do it and do it right! if youre gonna use that one, dont interrupt them, time it!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Hughman

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jaytuk said:
If you've seen the girl around quite a few times and she has seen you, then a cold approach could work pretty well.
Then it's not a cold approach....
 
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