"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Twofold question: Are they scared/intimidated?

Mr. Goods

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Part 1.) I've been doing some thinking lately and connected a few recent trends when it comes to girls that don't want to date me and how they go about demonstrating this. I wanted to know if the correlations I made have any merit:

-In high school, I was small, skinny, and a pushover. I had little confidence in big social situations (I had no problems talking to people...I'm referring to cliques, parties, etc). Every girl I asked out rejected me. Not only that, but these rejections were very loud, rude and caused a scene. If a girl wasn't ridiculing me, she'd openly say she'd date one of my friends, but not me.
-During my first 2-3 years in college (beginning to noticeably get buff, also gaining confidence), I had a little more success. However, still several rejections. Unlike high school, these rejections did not cause a scene. Rather, the girls flaked on me at the very last second with a bogus excuse or stood me up.
-Over the past 1-1.5 years (I am considered very athletic/buff and have more confidence than at any point before), I have had more dates than in any other span of my life, even though my last real date was back in February. At the same time though, the way I have been turned down has changed again. Now, they just ignore the whole thing. No straight rejections, no flaking, they just quiet up and won't respond to it.

What's my hypothesis? I think girls may be scared/intimidated by me. While I may be muscular and athletic, I'm not mean (in fact, I may be a little too generous). I joke more than I probably should. There are no signs of my snapping at anyone. The differences in ways I've been rejected is interesting though. I could very well be wrong, as this is simply a guess.


Part 2.) The part above is more of an interest piece than a problem. This part I'm about to express is a little concerning. Recently, I've really improved talking to girls. I can make them laugh and smile. They're not particularly shy around me when it comes to talking. If we are in the same class, they'll sit next to me. However, the moment I suggest plans to hang out - or even ask them to a place directly - they stop communication instantly. Some girls dodge responding to the question. Others just end the conversation and I never really hear from them again. Aside from the obvious, this is very frustrating because they seem energetic/very friendly, but the second I make plans, they're out. I don't really understand it. If they're not into being around me, they wouldn't keep chatting and being outgoing in the first place. I've dealt with attention wh*res before and can understand why this would happen with them, but a lot of the girls I know do not appear to be attention who*res. I'm not really sure what to do about this: if we're talking, getting along and she's laughing/smiling, I'm going to suggest hanging out. Why wouldn't I?

Any thoughts on either issue? They are simply things I have picked up on recently.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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kingsam

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Mr. Goods said:
Part 1.) I've been doing some thinking lately and connected a few recent trends when it comes to girls that don't want to date me and how they go about demonstrating this. I wanted to know if the correlations I made have any merit:

-In high school, I was small, skinny, and a pushover. I had little confidence in big social situations (I had no problems talking to people...I'm referring to cliques, parties, etc). Every girl I asked out rejected me. Not only that, but these rejections were very loud, rude and caused a scene. If a girl wasn't ridiculing me, she'd openly say she'd date one of my friends, but not me.
-During my first 2-3 years in college (beginning to noticeably get buff, also gaining confidence), I had a little more success. However, still several rejections. Unlike high school, these rejections did not cause a scene. Rather, the girls flaked on me at the very last second with a bogus excuse or stood me up. college gails are DTF you gotta do it often the same night

-Over the past 1-1.5 years (I am considered very athletic/buff and have more confidence than at any point before),We will beleive it when you prove it ! see this thread for skeptisism about good looking claims http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=175261 I have had more dates than in any other span of my life, even though my last real date was back in February. At the same time though, the way I have been turned down has changed again. Now, they just ignore the whole thing. No straight rejections, no flaking, they just quiet up and won't respond to it.

What's my hypothesis? I think girls may be scared/intimidated by me. While I may be muscular and athletic, I'm not mean (in fact, I may be a little too generous). I joke more than I probably should.make sure your not just the "funny guy" , just bieng funny guy doesnt = attraction There are no signs of my snapping at anyone. The differences in ways I've been rejected is interesting though. I could very well be wrong, as this is simply a guess.


Part 2.) The part above is more of an interest piece than a problem. This part I'm about to express is a little concerning. Recently, I've really improved talking to girls. I can make them laugh and smile. They're not particularly shy around me when it comes to talking. SHY? why would have girls been shy around you anyway...?? If we are in the same class, they'll sit next to me. However, the moment I suggest plans to hang out - or even ask them to a place directly - they stop communication instantly. Some girls dodge responding to the question. Others just end the conversation and I never really hear from them again. Aside from the obvious, this is very frustrating because they seem energetic/very friendly, but the second I make plans, they're out. I don't really understand it. If they're not into being around me, they wouldn't keep chatting and being outgoing in the first place. I've dealt with attention wh*res before and can understand why this would happen with them, but a lot of the girls I know do not appear to be attention who*res. I'm not really sure what to do about this: if we're talking, getting along and she's laughing/smiling, I'm going to suggest hanging out. Why wouldn't I?

Any thoughts on either issue? They are simply things I have picked up on recently.
blatantly are not showing "masculine sexual intent" from the get go, you are being all nice and chatty to them (i dont beleive you are interested in their fluff talk, so by putting up with it is being un-authentic).
they see you as a nice guy to chat to, (towards the dreadded FZ) so when you do show sexual intent/ask for dates you are catching them unaware and suprise them!

show intent
 

Mr. Goods

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Thanks for the feedback. Kingsam, you are both right and (somewhat) wrong:
-In one of the points you put in blue, most of the girls I run into is during the day, so being dtf on the spot isn't going to work if I'm in class lol.
-I read the thread in the link. Interesting read. However, I never said I was really good looking. I said I am very in-shape, and that part is true. I don't know if I'm "really good looking" to women or not.
-What are some "masculine sexual intent" examples you can provide in a conversation during the day? I know there are threads here somewhere, but I'm not Mr. Nice Guy (I don't put up with sh!t, not a pushover). You are correct that I don't really like the fluff talk but do withstand it. I crack some jokes, but I'm no one trick pony (I have normal conversation too). It's usually witty remarks, as opposed to ripping on people or doing stand-up.

The biggest question, aside from the masculine sexual intent part, is I can't ask the girl out as the very first thing I say. Usually, there's some back-and-forth, THEN a move is made. Some of my friends who have gf's don't have any game at all, yet they're in happy relationships.

Heck, some of the girls I've experienced this with, I spoke with only a couple of times, none for very long. It's not as if we were talking for a month and then I made a move. After 1-2 conversations, I make a move and they're "surprised" as you put it.
 

The Experience

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Then don't ask them anywhere and just talk (listen) to them and build up your attraction even more (kino).

Just because you can talk to a girl doesn't mean they'll be attracted to you and go anywhere with you. She needs to feel like she already knows you enough within the 1-2 conversations that y'all have had if you plan on asking her out. Why not just ask for a way to contact her?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Mr. Goods

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The "fluff talk" that kingsam points to is something I listen to. I'll remember basically everything a girl says, so "not listening" isn't an issue. I have also been improving my kino; it's not close to perfected, but it's considerably better than were I was not too long ago.

Experience, I think you make a good point, a point that Kingsam also made. It has something to do with the "masculine sexual intent" and trying to get to know her better in the 1-2 short conversations. In addition, getting contact info is not a problem for me, I feel I am good at getting numbers from girls.
 

Speculator E

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It sounds like you need to work on your personality some more. Start watching how guys who are good with women interact and try to mimic them. Examples and models make learning easier.
 

2crudedudes

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To respond to your thread title: No.

I've had very similar responses (minus the loud outbursty b1tch bullsh1t) and what I've figured out is that its more or less lack of rapport.

You're jumping the gun, or mistaking kindness for attraction.

If you "hit" on a girl by asking for her phone number with the excuse to exchange class notes, you're not really "getting her phone number", you're getting a study buddy.

Sounds like you need to expand on your verbal skills to really drive the point home before going for the kill
 

Mr. Goods

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I think the main point you guys are getting at - 2crudedudes and Speculator E - is to make the point known basically immediately.

Speculator E - I don't have a crummy personality. I am outgoing and usually appear to be happy. Watching the naturals is a good tip though. The puzzling part is when some of my out-of-shape/lazy/drunk friends have success as well.

2crudedudes - True, sometimes I mistake kindness for attraction. In the span of one short conversation, it's hard to tell the difference. I speak well, but maybe it's what I say - being more blunt with my intentions - that I need to focus more on.

Obivously, any advice on this matter is appreciated. The first half of my OP - about the head-scratching changes in the ways girls have turned me down over time (from being upset to flaking to ignoring) - is there anything to that? Or is it just the way girls go about it?
 

kingsam

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Mr. Goods said:
Thanks for the feedback. Kingsam, you are both right and (somewhat) wrong:
-In one of the points you put in blue, most of the girls I run into is during the day, so being dtf on the spot isn't going to work if I'm in class lol.
why are you only mostly meeting girls in the day, dont you go to parties, clubs, student bars??
-What are some "masculine sexual intent" examples you can provide in a conversation during the day? I know there are threads here somewhere, but I'm not Mr. Nice Guy (I don't put up with sh!t, not a pushover). You are correct that I don't really like the fluff talk but do withstand it. I crack some jokes, but I'm no one trick pony (I have normal conversation too). It's usually witty remarks, as opposed to ripping on people or doing stand-up.
see this video, if you have a strong frame, people will buy into your frame, you become the aplha at that time http://www.flawlessnaturalvideoblog.com/?p=6

THEN a move is made. Some of my friends who have gf's don't have any game at all, yet they're in happy relationships.
most guys have some level of game (and most guys can get a "girl" to fall in love wiht them), they just never think /understand about the dynamics, and most of these guys are also ingorant of not being a doormat so are in "happy ignorance" - you can probably see many guys have handed their balls over...
ocasionally the girl is just really nice and the guy has lucked out!

also some times the guy is just so happy just to be in a RL, hes not in love with the girl, more in love with being in a RL

Heck, some of the girls I've experienced this with, I spoke with only a couple of times, none for very long. It's not as if we were talking for a month and then I made a move. After 1-2 conversations, I make a move and they're "surprised" as you put it.
read this guys FR's he has intent, see how he deals with girls in parties and in the day/in class http://www.rsdnation.com/node/135273
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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