Two schools of thought

[Lexington]

In the filibuster thread, there were two different approaches to the Game apparent.

It seems some folks were about a purely screening-based approach: either the girl is into you or not and you just cast a wide net and pursue the ones that are.

Other folks advocated "doing work." Sometimes there's initial attraction and you have to build on it.

What are your thoughts on these approaches? Obviously, many people use a combination of the two, but what is your approach closer to?

For me it's probably the former. I'm pretty direct and upfront. You lose a few you might have been able to pursue, but this approach is also more time efficient, IMHO.

Of course, we don't all have the same objectives. At the moment, I'm only after short term flings. I think a lot of girls play hard to get to screen out guys that aren't serious, so someone looking for an LTR might have to work at it.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Look. If your a top-notch dude why the hell do you have to put in any type of work? That's BS. Only people that should need to put good work in is when the girl is above you. and as a Mack you should never have that type of mentality.

When I was single I had the cop and blow mentality. I know I'm a catch and a woman is lucky to even mess with me. So I would have that mentality when talking to females. They would always say that I am ****y. If they wanted to mess with me then cool. If they didn't I really didn't care because I have more females. A girl has to impress me. Not vice-versa. I know I'm the sh!t.

 

[Jitterbug]

The former. As you said, it's time efficient and it suits my personality. I don't have much time. I'm constantly investing my time in many worthy pursuits that benefit me now and in the future. Women are fun, but they are a time sink, therefore any time investing in them has to give me optimal ROI.

 

[backbreaker]

boilermaker is a guy who i rary agree with but in this instance, i think he's spot on in the sense lexington, instead of ackolweding you made a very minor boo boo in an otherwise great rotation, you double down and try to intellectualize your **** up and you are still doing it

lol dating is not work. dating is fun. if you think dating going out on dates are work buddy you are on the wrong forum

there is an entire anti dump machine post devoted to nothing but action dates. and it's the put up or shut up part of the machine

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=39887


better stated if you think of going out with a girl, is WORK you need new plates.


i mean, we ahe gotten tot he point where we are questioning fundmental game ****. this is pathetic. in the thread

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=199630

the OP had a problem with the girl thinking he was cdreppy/only wanted one thing .. the dude, lol took her out down the ****ing street for 30 imntues, and then at that point. proceeded to do exactly the thing that she said she thought he was being creepy for wanting to do

Look. If your a top-notch dude why the hell do you have to put in any type of work? That's BS. Only people that should need to put good work in is when the girl is above you. and as a Mack you should never have that type of mentality.

no girl is going to play ball with you for long, regardless of how good your game is, if she thinks that the ONLY thing you want is to **** her brains out. it's not a game issue, it doesn't matter how much of a catch you or or how much game you have if the woman sees you as a hopeless situation.

you aren't trying to impress her. god guys come on **** this is soft ball **** . you are trying to show that there is more to you than a ****. and ****, half the girls i took out that's all i wanted, but you can't tell a girl that. you guys know that. **** guys.

lexington, i love ya bro. i really do. i like you as a poster. but friends call friends on their BS and you ****ed this up by thinking you could have a maintenance free booty call.

and ****, especially if the booty call is over 25, you can **** that **** lol. maybe, maybe under 25 when she's still in her **** fun mode.. a girl over 25 with NO maintenance and you are talking about trying to use as a booty call, agirl who sees that horizon coming up and you think your game is enough o overcome every ****ing natural instice the woman has to look for a man to settle with despite what she is telling you?


you know the movie deep impact, and when they are on the meadtor and they have that horizon clock and it tells them how much time until sunlight hits before they get cooked. that's every 25-30 year old woman in america. regardless of what they say. and you are telling a woman who is starring at her horizen clock to keep down here with me and keep help plugging these rocks away, and then act like if you cant' keep her down with you to pulg rocks, it's beucase you don't have game lol. good lord this forum at times is comical.

you guys don'tk now what game is. game is not ****ing a girl on the first date. game is getting a 28 year old woman to keep ****ing you with no long term commitment on your end by managing and massaging her expectations and what your intentions are for months if not years, and that's not possible without doing some managing (i.e work) on your end.


come on guys get your **** together.


ps- i'm quite drunk so if i said anything to offend anyone i apologize



i just had a drunken thought lol. when i first really started this web company i own every morning i would come up with a number of responses i needed to send out to prospective clients, and from that i would come up wtih a target number i had to send proposals. thi sis how i judged if i had a proactive day or not. and i mean, ****, it worked to a good extent. but after a while i caught myself trying to do as little work to get the clients as i possibly could. and then when i did get them the sales process was so generic i never made the money i should have made i always left **** on the table.

then once day i woek up and realized.. half these clients i am going after i don't even want. jobs i hate doing, jobs that are low ball in the first place, jobs from ****ty clients, just to get my numbers.
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i think that's what you are doing right now lexington. you are so worried about the number of plates you have spinning that you are taking plates you really don't wanna spin. plates are good but only at the extent that i actually kinda half ass like thenm. there is no point in spinning a plate at least to me that youd ont' like enough to see socially. if you are to the point where you want to spin as little time with plates as possible, why is she a plate?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Lex,
Very much a Horses for courses matter....I use both approaches...if I didn't have a principal Plate then I would definitely not mess around with diffident Women but if your basic needs are satisfied and you are trawling for Peripheral Plates then you just play them slowly,building up their confidence....In general the targets for a long term plate are entirely different from a one night stand or principal Plate....Not many Women will accept being visited say once a week maybe plus a few phone calls,they will all want Saturday Night too...At your age you are probably restricted to Single Mummies, but for the future,and for older guys it becomes better the older you are.....I find needy Married Women,Shift Workers,Overseas Students,those marooned at home with ailing relatives,Ladies in isolated areas and those that blatently trade skills you have to offer for a bit of hows your Father make the best targets,but need patience,skill and experience in landing,like a fish in weeds LOL.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Why not in between? It's a spectrum: at one end is nothing more than she comes over and you f*ck. At the other you've gone off the AFC deep end and spend lots of money on her doing what she wants but never getting any. In between you do fun things that you like and she accompanies you. It could be a dinner date at a restaurant or getting a bunch of groceries and cooking -- together -- at home, it could be watching UFC on ppv, it could be going to see a sci-fi movie, playing cards, whatever. The point is you're having fun because you like the activity and you like the girl.

And maybe you'll discover that what you initially considered as only a short term thing becomes something you want long term because not only is the sex good, you actually have fun hanging out with the girl.

 

[Boilermaker]

boilermaker is a guy who i *rarely* agree with but in this instance, i think he's spot on in the sense lexington, instead of ackolweding you made a very minor boo boo in an otherwise great rotation, you double down and try to intellectualize your **** up and you are still doing it

lol dating is not work. dating is fun. if you think dating going out on dates are work buddy you are on the wrong forum

I personally have to admit that I agree with you more than I'd like to.

In general, it makes me happy to see when you post some utter garbage. It has a calming down effect on my metabolism.

That doesn't happen very often. Especially in the last 2 months or so. Something hit your head and you stopped the cacophony.

I know if it doesn't happen with you often either.

so don't lie !


As for OP, he still hasn't a clue, and he's trying to get what's going wrong by starting grandiose theories (which are not even wrong), maybe this is a pattern for him? He probably starts out well, by looking tough but then somehow loses the thread. Smoking too much weed, bro? don't want to anything but to get high?

 

[Mike32ct]

Mostly the first, with some of the second mixed in.

She has to be interested in you initially or there is nothing you can do. Then you can use game to increase the initial attraction.

 

[disgustipated]

Every girl is different. And even more different in relation to you. Guys will tell you all girls are the same...if she's into you she crawl thru **** to **** you. True. But there's all levels of interest. With those varying degrees of interest there are varying degrees of things you keed to do to get at that poon. It's on you to get real good at evaluating the situation early on. Then you decide if its worth that effort , that minimum effort required, to get at that poon. Right now you seem to be putting in the least amount of effort possible. That's fine as long as you understand its not going to work with every girl....even girls that show initial interest.

This summer I.dated a girl 3 times. First time we took a walk, light kino...great flirty conversation...I wanted to **** her. 2 nd date, I drive to her place and she greets me with a big kiss and hug...hung out all night and her older sis came over, gave her opportunities to get me alone later...she didn't capatalize. 3rd date, dinner with sis. A tour of sex shop, I'm thinking hell yeah its on.....movie on couch at sis place with unreturned advances. Right there and then I made a quick assessment...3 dates, she showed medium interest at this point...I'd have to put in x amount of additional work to get the ass. Wasn't worth it. For her looks vs my time, I felt not worth it. No anger, no ego bruise. Waited til movie was done, hugged her, said take care and that was that. There is no.need to get nasty with a girl when you've decided her poon is not worth your time or any additional efforts.

 

[Colossus]

Different strokes for different folks.

I've always operated on the first philosophy. It's really Anti-Dump's machine in a nutshell, which is based on the premise that interest level is not something that can be manipulated to any lasting good. She's either into you, or she ain't.

For guys that are more interested in numbers and lays, using techniques to augment interest can be useful. Even in a marriage or LTR they can be useful to break through a slump. But there has to be a baseline, original interest there. You cant make something out of nothing.

Screening girls for high interest doesn't really take any skill, it just takes experience and a good amount of self-actualization to know what it is you want. Augmenting interest with confident persistence or more deliberate manipulations does require some skill, but I don't feel the ends typically justify the means. I guess my personal threshold for walking away from a lukewarm female is low. Interested women call you. Interested women pursue you. Interested women are available for you. Interested women accommodate your schedule. Interested women dont ignore your texts, and they are quick to apologize if they think they have offended you.

In short, they are OPEN. The message is always in the sum of her actions.

 

[Burroughs]

If you reach the 3 month stage with a woman...you are marriage material in her eyes. Anything you do detrimental to the growth of the relationship at this point costs you...big time. The only thing you can really do from this point on is prove your unworthiness. However, if you maintain the frame and keep it cool....you're in the driver's seat....until she meets someone more suitable for marriage!

maintaining the frame with a woman with a mentality like this benefits a man how?

You use the words 'prove your unworthiness'...thats a mistake...a man should never 'prove' anything with a woman...this is the mark of an adversarial relationship...women are here to help and assist men through their arduous lives....men are not put on this earth to be servants of women.

 

[BeDJ]

666 is saying you don't come off selfish. If she drives 40 minutes to see you, you reward her with a quick snack. If she buys you drinks you give her a compliment. You maintain the frame rewarding her good behavior.

 

[Burroughs]

frankly more dudes would be better off doing what Lex did

set a price in your mind for what you want to 'pay' for a woman and stick to that price...remember in life TIME is the most valuable asset...don't waste time on wack azz biyaches

too many men play hardcore and then a hawt girl comes into his life he starts throwing all his time and car payments at her.

 

[backbreaker]

666 is saying you don't come off selfish. If she drives 40 minutes to see you, you reward her with a quick snack. If she buys you drinks you give her a compliment. You maintain the frame rewarding her good behavior.

exactly. the **** isn't all that complicated to understand

it's like saying you are breaking the frame with your dog by not giving him a doggy treat when he goes outside to **** instead of ****ting on the floor, beucase you don't want him to think you are beta owner lol. that's about the level of logic that is floating around right now

when a girl does things you like you reward her in kind with your affection and attention. this is text book game 101. no one is saying you have to buy her diamonds and sing songs and ****. girl drives in the rain to see you, cook her dinner and give hr a back rub. girl buys some new **** me heels for you to see her /**** her in, take her ass out so she can strut her stuff

the problem isn ot being nice. the problem is being overly nice, when she isn't doing **** to deerve you being overly nice

no one wants a ****ing pompous jerk. no one is going to keep being nice/ doing nice **** to if you can't replicate in kind.

 

[Burroughs]

Would a business partnership survive with one party completely bowing down to the other? Of course not. Long gone are the days of slavery.

Being an extremely stubborn male is comparable to a small child not getting the christmas present he wants on xmas morn. You've been given the gift of sosuave's knowledge, use it to your advantage, don't hate it for what it is.

I will not respond to your response to this, if you choose to do so.

you self righteous guys get really butthurt easily

you might want to get up off of your high horse the lack of oxygen is clearly getting you :crackup:

and nice touch with the ad hominem attack with the seasonal christmas message.

a relationship is not a 'business partnership' and if you don't understand that then you have a lot of learning to do before posting advice on sosuave.

Lex made a choice to expend little effort on a jump off....seems like a lot of you are catching feelings over that.

maybe its the quality of your own relationships and likely 'over-investment' that you ought to examine? just because you guys overpaid for your wives and GFs doesn't mean Lex had to :rock:

 

[BeDJ]

you self righteous guys get really butthurt easily

you might want to get up off of your high horse the lack of oxygen is clearly getting you :crackup:

and nice touch with the ad hominem attack with the seasonal christmas message.

a relationship is not a 'business partnership' and if you don't understand that then you have a lot of learning to do before posting advice on sosuave.

Lex made a choice to expend little effort on a jump off....seems like a lot of you are catching feelings over that.

maybe its the quality of your own relationships and likely 'over-investment' that you ought to examine? just because you guys overpaid for your wives and GFs doesn't mean Lex had to :rock:

Lex made the choice to expend because it was the only reasonable choice he had. Had he banged her on the third date, this thread and the other would have never existed.

A business partnership and relationship have quite the same principles. Both partners involved ultimately look out for their own best interest. If your company was offered a favorable buyout on your end, you would want to make sure that happens. The new opportunity is better for you, even if your partner wants to keep the company -> relationship and commitment.

In the OP's post, the former approach, casting a wide net and seeing who is interested in you would be my default. HOWEVER, you need to maintain her interest by always reinforcing what you did in the beginning to get her interest. Once the woman sees a glitch in your own matrix, she will have every reason to doubt and sh*t test you to oblivion.