Two majors problems that are CBing me!

[LostAndConfused]

Well, I reflected on myself for a while and I kinda realized my failure with women are based on two things, being "cute" and a major lack of identity. The latter is definitely the worst of the two, but let me explain both.

1.) So I've become a pretty social guy, I'm not that inept, however once I first meet a girl I sometimes come off awkwardly. But I've become friends with some of the girls who were interested in me (but I'm not interested in), and they all say that the girls that I actually am interested in think I'm "cute". Of course this is a problem, how do I solve it? Maybe I just look too young or something....EDIT: I'm trying to just pass from the threshold of "cute" to "hot")

2.) This is the more major one. My dad is black and my mother is asian. Any other mixed people may know what I'm about to say. I lack a total identity, and thus I come off as "fake" alot. I have alot of trouble showing who I am, mainly because I don't really know who I am. When I hang out with my asian friends, I talk to them as if I were another asian. When I hang out with my black friends, I talk to them in the same way that they talk. And I can't really help it- its natural. After I talk to them for a couple minutes I start talking the way they talk. I don't even know how to dress either, as my mom tries to get me clothes such as abercrombie and american eagle and at the same time I wear urban clothing. Now I doubt anyone else has this problem, but does anyone know how to fix this little "identity crisis "i've gotten myself into? :trouble:


Oh I'm a senior in high school if it means anything.

 

[hell695]

my suggestion is dress on the outside like u feel like on the inside did wonders for me and try new things to it might help u find who u r

 

[LostAndConfused]

my suggest is dress on the outside like u feel like on the inside did wonders for me

Thanks. Except I want to dress classy and neither of the groups of friends I hang out with wanna dress like that.

 

[Phats]

Just do that ****. Doesn't matter if they don't want to, the focus is on YOU. If you feel to insecure about coming dressed 'strange' then mix a few classy items into the outfits your wear gradually, not the whole SHEBANG at once.

On a side note that tip about dressing how you feel is awesome.

 

[up_an_up]

just invest in some nicer clothing. No i dont mean what all the 20 somethings wear to a club, i mean some nice jeans, shirts, jerseys etc. As for the idenity i know what you mean. Its the culture aspect not neccessarily the race issue. Id say choose which one you want to be and stay like that. Im froma bunch of different places/areas and like you said i acted one way towars one person, antoher towars the next group. This will get you lots of friends but you wont ever feel like you truly fit in. Just find who you really click with and feel the most natural around and that is how you will come off towards the ladies. Natural and "yourself" i.e. your identity.

 

[jesusrules]

just dress the way you want. i think the thing your missing is no matter what color you are you can dress any way you want to. people of every race dress nice.

as far as the cute thing i have the same problem man. and to be honest i cant figure it out either.