Two Biggest Factors in Attraction

[zekko]

I've been studying this seduction stuff for awhile now, and this is based on my own observations. Forget acting alpha, dominant, confident, etc., these are the two biggest factors I've seen in creating attraction. They kind of remind me of another thread which maintained that attraction was totally random and unpredictable. But here we go:

1. New Kid in Town: If a new guy comes into an existing large group, be it a social group, workplace, or whatever, that guy is going to be getting the most attention for awhile. It may not even be right away necessarily, but sometime while they are relatively new, they will be getting most of the interest. Obviously if the guy is somehow repulsive to women or people in general that would be an exception.

2. Attention: Pretty much the guy who gives the girls the most attention will be getting the most in return. This sounds like it comes from the pages of the AFC handbook, but this is what I've observed. If a guy starts paying a lot of attention to a girl, she will reciprocate and start flirting with him.

Now I'm talking about attraction here, so I'm not saying any of this is good enough for an F-close necessarily, except that the guy will probably have his window to make it happen. Whether or not he follows through with it or not is up to him.

Also, most pickup theory I've seen is based almost entirely around nightclubs. I don't go to nightclubs, and I haven't been interesting in drinking since I was in my 20s (I'll have one occassionally). So I doubt that any of this applies to nightclub game, and this isn't even about "game" anyway. This isn't presented as tactics to use, it's just based on what I've seen. I'm in a LTR so I don't practice pickup. This is just what I've observed.

 

[Lexington]

Not so sure about number 2. If you're constantly after her, it's going to seem desperate. Obviously, you gotta give them attention, but not too much. They have to know that you're not desperate.

Number 1 is true. This is why I prefer to get my play from girls outside my social circle. For one thing, the "new kid on the block" factor helps. But more importantly, it can get awkward when you date girls from your own circle. What happens when your break up? Then all of a sudden, your friends have to line themselves into two camps: with you or with her.

 

[Iceberg]

I'm not sure I totally agree.

For instance, your #1: I work in advertising...one of the biggest ways of drawing attention to a product is the word "new". So yes, that is a form of attraction. But it's a very short-lived attraction. The product gets your attention for a second, because it's new...but if it's new and it sucks, then who cares, right?

Okay, so your the new guy at a job. So for that first week all the girls are wondering what you're about. But if you're shy...or goofy...or some other form of unattractive, that "new" shine wears off real fast. Like, "The guy is new, but he sucks."

So, newness is definitely an attention-getter, but is it one of the two biggest factors in attraction? Nah. I could hook up with a coworker or classmate within a week of knowing her or within a year. The factors of attraction are more about you as a person, and less about how new you are.

 

[zekko]

For instance, your #1: I work in advertising...one of the biggest ways of drawing attention to a product is the word "new". So yes, that is a form of attraction. But it's a very short-lived attraction. The product gets your attention for a second, because it's new...but if it's new and it sucks, then who cares, right?

I agree the attraction can be short lived, in both factor #1 and #2. But if you think about the attraction phase in "pickup theory", it's a very short phase anyway, then it's on to comfort building.
Also, for "pickup artists" they don't need to keep a girl interested for long because they are usually out to score quick sex or a quick makeout session.
Couples generally won't stay together (or shouldn't) unless they are a very good matchup.

But I'm not really talking about pickup, I'm just reporting what I'm seeing. And these are the cases where I'm generally seeing girls get attracted. Usually it's when the guy is new or when he starts paying a lot of attention to her (and/or to all the girls). It's usually not "Omigosh, that guy negged me! I'm so attracted to him". The guy doesn't have to be alpha or even particularly high value.

 

[zekko]

Not so sure about number 2. If you're constantly after her, it's going to seem desperate. Obviously, you gotta give them attention, but not too much. They have to know that you're not desperate.

I'm sure you can overdo it, and I know what you're saying is DJ 101. But I haven't been seeing it happen much, I haven't seen guys acting desperate. I know they're out there, but I haven't seen them.

For the most part, what I've seen is the guys who give their attention to the girl get their interest, while the guys who play it cool do not. It looks like the girls start to think the guy might be interested in them, and that gets the wheels in their head turning.

So for that first week all the girls are wondering what you're about. But if you're shy...or goofy...or some other form of unattractive, that "new" shine wears off real fast. Like, "The guy is new, but he sucks."

Actually, I think the time frame is a lot longer than a week. A guy may be around for a couple of months and girls will suddenly get curious about him.

And I did note in the original post that if the guy was somehow repulsive (if he's some sort of gomer or something) then it didn't work for them. I think being shy could be forgiven unless the dude was really awkward.