Turning Indirect Stares into Eye Contact???

[jiggy]

Hey fellow DJ'ers......

As most of you probably are aware of, us DJ'ers receive a lot of glances throughout the day. I don't know about you guys, but I can just "feel" when someone is looking at me. My question is, if you know that someone is looking/staring at you, do you turn towards them and initiate eye contact? It seems to me that you do, but when I've tried to do this, it usually is taken as intimidating and the girl looks away! Does anybody have any techniques when it comes to making indirect looks into eye contact???

Thanks in advance!

 

[Miles Davis]

This one's easy. When you get the sense that she's checking you out, just turn and look towards her. Obviously if she looks away quickly, you've caught her looking. Now you know you're in. Now its your job to dominate the eye contact game. Exchange glances a few times. Smile. If she smiles, you approach.

 

[theSpeculator]

Looking away is almost an automatic response. However the confident chicks will always take a second look and smile if you're still staring.

But, the insecure chicks will almost not look at you again. So, it'll be harder to get eye contact from them unless you make a move and talk to them.

On a side note: I've noticed that if you're good looking and appears very confident, most chicks will be intimidated by you and will be too scare to do eye contact even if they are interested. Instead they will keep you in range of their perpheral vision the entire time you're staring at them.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Oh just walk up to her and introduce yourself....

 

[h2o]

I did a search rather than start a new thread. I have the same sort of question, except a bit different.

I can also "feel" when someone is watching me. Just tonight, some girl was staring at me. Twice I looked in her direction to try and make eye contact, but she quickly looked away (caught her looking). I was sitting on the couch in the lounge, and she was like 10-15 ft away...after quickly looking away the first time she went behind the corner where the kitchen is and quickly hid herself. I think I heard her whispering something to someone who was also around the corner. The second time she ducked behind a couch. Dude?!?

The problem is, to me, her eye contact didn't seem too inviting, so I didn't approach. And, besides, she didn't give me time to smile at her. It's not like I don't have confidence to approach...I've been doing approaches and I'm pretty much over the confidence part, I just need to be able to get the girl to feel comfortable and relaxed more. Anyway, I didn't want to just go over there and scare the living **** out of her, if I am so intimidating that she has to scurry away when I catch her checking me out.

I mean, sure I'm about a 9 on hotornot, but that **** is meaningless...and besides, if my looks meant anything, I wouldn't be on this site asking for advice on women. Looks alone don't mean ****, especially if you don't know how to use them...and I admit I still don't know how to.

How do I get her to relax around me or how do I try approaching her if I see her around? I don't want girls to be scared of me, and I don't want her to run away when I try approaching her.

This isn't the only chick that's acted like this towards me. I've had a similar experience with many many girls in the past, and even a few in the past few months. In most of those cases I've just avoided eye contact with the girls, and with time they've stopped checking me out...I know that sounds ****ing pathetic. I'm sure there's something I'm not getting.

Any help / advice would be appreciated. The girl in this case is about an hb7.5 ...maybe dressed better she'd be an hb8.

By the way, if it helps any, personality wise I am a bit on the quieter side, though I am pretty friendly and talk with just about everyone (just not a 'social butterfly' or anything of that nature quite yet - it's just my character to be on the quieter side). I smile and get along with everyone and befriend almost everyone I meet.

 

[PRMoon]

Just look over at the girl who's staring at you. A variety of things could happen to you. She could turn quick or she could keep staring at you, she could turn and talk to her friend, etc etc. She'll be doing something, but if you don't confont you won't know.

She might be giving you a nonverbal invite to come over and talk to her or she could buy you a drink, there are tons of things that could happen to you but if you don't take that first step, you'll never know.

 

[skeeloo]

Originally posted by h2o
I did a search rather than start a new thread. I have the same sort of question, except a bit different.

I can also "feel" when someone is watching me. Just tonight, some girl was staring at me. Twice I looked in her direction to try and make eye contact, but she quickly looked away (caught her looking). I was sitting on the couch in the lounge, and she was like 10-15 ft away...after quickly looking away the first time she went behind the corner where the kitchen is and quickly hid herself. I think I heard her whispering something to someone who was also around the corner. The second time she ducked behind a couch. Dude?!?

The problem is, to me, her eye contact didn't seem too inviting, so I didn't approach. And, besides, she didn't give me time to smile at her. It's not like I don't have confidence to approach...I've been doing approaches and I'm pretty much over the confidence part, I just need to be able to get the girl to feel comfortable and relaxed more. Anyway, I didn't want to just go over there and scare the living **** out of her, if I am so intimidating that she has to scurry away when I catch her checking me out.

I mean, sure I'm about a 9 on hotornot, but that **** is meaningless...and besides, if my looks meant anything, I wouldn't be on this site asking for advice on women. Looks alone don't mean ****, especially if you don't know how to use them...and I admit I still don't know how to.

How do I get her to relax around me or how do I try approaching her if I see her around? I don't want girls to be scared of me, and I don't want her to run away when I try approaching her.

This isn't the only chick that's acted like this towards me. I've had a similar experience with many many girls in the past, and even a few in the past few months. In most of those cases I've just avoided eye contact with the girls, and with time they've stopped checking me out...I know that sounds ****ing pathetic. I'm sure there's something I'm not getting.

Any help / advice would be appreciated. The girl in this case is about an hb7.5 ...maybe dressed better she'd be an hb8.

By the way, if it helps any, personality wise I am a bit on the quieter side, though I am pretty friendly and talk with just about everyone (just not a 'social butterfly' or anything of that nature quite yet - it's just my character to be on the quieter side). I smile and get along with everyone and befriend almost everyone I meet.

in that case theres nothing you can do, once these girls see you as very attractive or ungetable, they figure you dont find them attractive or they figure you are a player or whateva.
even with the right attitude they might think you have hundreds of girls to **** at your disposal ,no matter how you make your self down to earth they still are intimidated and thats their problem not yours, go for the girls that give you a clear direct signal, if you are handsome or atleast take care of your appearance you shouldnt have a problem geting a direct signal at least 4 times a month if you go out regularly, not only in clubs but in streets or anywhere. one thing a man shouldnt put up with are those mind games i hate that **** when i look at a girl she looks away and looks back and forth like a kid, then when you aproach they act stupid, if this happens walk away and focus on another prey. a guy shouldnt have to put up with that just because he takes care of his appearance.

 

[Eb9#5]

Originally posted by theSpeculator


On a side note: I've noticed that if you're good looking and appears very confident, most chicks will be intimidated by you and will be too scare to do eye contact even if they are interested. Instead they will keep you in range of their perpheral vision the entire time you're staring at them.

girls always tell me (when i get to know them better) I look intimidating to them at first, so they won't approach or even talk to me. I also get the felling i'm being stared at, i'll just look back at them until they turn around

I'm a fun person, but I don't go smilling all day long at people/girls.

 

[h2o]

ok, yeah...i've had trouble with approaching shy girls. but i'll keep trying. though like skeeloo said, i hate it when they do that sometimes. although, in any case, it's a lost opportunity if i don't approach.

i got one more thing.

sometimes, i'm just walking by myself, and walking towards me are a guy and his girl (or so i assume, since they're holding hands). naturally, i make brief eye-contact with both when they are about 10-15ft away and then continue on my way (unless i know them). sometimes the girl gives me a lot of eye-contact and may even slightly smile, but then immediately clings to her bf.

once or twice, from a distance (as i am walking in their direction anyway) i saw a gf/bf who aren't really talking, but with a grp. the guy is looking the other way or talking to a friend, then the girl looks straight at me and smiles. i usually don't look much or smile, since i saw her holding hands with another guy just seconds ago...so i just make brief eye-contact, and sometimes with a confused expression on my face, and she immediately goes and jumps on her bf and hugs/kisses him. and as i pass by she eyes me. wtf is that all about?

i mean, these aren't girls i'm approaching anyways, but i was just curious if anyone else had experienced this, and what you made of it?

(note: i don't mean for this to sound like a "what does this mean / what does that mean" post. i really don't give a **** what anyone thinks or says anymore...if i can't control it i don't worry about it, and i just do me)

 

[theSpeculator]

I think the reason why an interested girl with a bf is more likely to simile than a single girl is because they feel more relaxed and secure because of their bf. They will smile at you because they do not fear rejection since they have the safety with their bf.

Also another reason maybe because they are looking for validation to give them an ego boost.

Either way, I still smile at the girl even if they are with their bf. This shows confidence. They will smile at you when their bf isn't looking or even when he is looking (I notice this when their bf is a wuss). Girls will even flirt with you in front of their bf, yes this has happen to me before.