I find I'm constantly in the same situation where chicks in my high school show clear IOI's towards me (usually through either directly stating it or through silly things such as writing "I love jester090" in my notebooks, etc), but I never express any interest back towards them because I have this belief that if all of the sudden I start showing IOI's back, then the chase is over for them and I'm no longer interesting. As a result of my aloofness, however, the situation never goes anywhere. What's the first step I should take if I'm trying to turn one of these girls into a potential girlfriend?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Turning Attraction into GF's
- Thread starter Jester090
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
DogFashionDisco
Senior Don Juan
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I've had the same problem. I still do, but it's gotten better. I've just uped my kino heavily, and talk to them more. but they are the ones who always start the convo. I've only done it maybe twice to this one chick. and I've liked this girl for a month and a half.
Lol, I think 95% of Highschoolers have this problem. Combine this with posts like "Kill the desperation" and we have a bunch of guys who are attractive, but have no girlfriends because they were too "backwards."
Have you heard of something called push-pull? You push the girl away, but you GOTTA pull her back. Otherwise, they'll just give up cuz they think you're gay, or they percieve you to be a weak man who can't take action.
The trick with the IOI is to make it justified. You can't just say outta the blue "Hey, nice eyes." It seems awkward and she didn't do anything to justify you complimenting her.
Instead, when she makes an effort in doing something, you reward her for it.
Example 1
HB: why did the chicken cross the road...to get to the other side. HAHAHA
You: HAHA! I like girl's with a sense of humor.
Example 2
HB: I recycle
You: Wow, I love hippies.
You get the idea.
Oh, and yeah, I agree with DogFashion. Kino is perhaps the most effective IOI. But you should be giving her a few verbal IOI's before you start kino-ing her or else it'll seem wierd.
But in the end, after my long ramblings, you really shouldn't't worry about these things too much. Just be natural and do whatever your gut wants you to. Trust me, a girl will NOT lose interest in you after you show her a few IOI's. In fact, I often find that the opposite happens.
Good luck!
Have you heard of something called push-pull? You push the girl away, but you GOTTA pull her back. Otherwise, they'll just give up cuz they think you're gay, or they percieve you to be a weak man who can't take action.
The trick with the IOI is to make it justified. You can't just say outta the blue "Hey, nice eyes." It seems awkward and she didn't do anything to justify you complimenting her.
Instead, when she makes an effort in doing something, you reward her for it.
Example 1
HB: why did the chicken cross the road...to get to the other side. HAHAHA
You: HAHA! I like girl's with a sense of humor.
Example 2
HB: I recycle
You: Wow, I love hippies.
You get the idea.
Oh, and yeah, I agree with DogFashion. Kino is perhaps the most effective IOI. But you should be giving her a few verbal IOI's before you start kino-ing her or else it'll seem wierd.
But in the end, after my long ramblings, you really shouldn't't worry about these things too much. Just be natural and do whatever your gut wants you to. Trust me, a girl will NOT lose interest in you after you show her a few IOI's. In fact, I often find that the opposite happens.
Good luck!
don't think of kino like akward touching. it can be very casual, and actually girls do it all the time if you are looking for it. Touch her arm as you say 'hi'. tickle her. touch her back very lightly as you walk through a door or say bye. just slip in almost unnoticed...almost. 
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
With your method, you will never get a girlfriend.
If you show signs of interest back, then no, the "chase" isn't over. The "chase" is over when a guy loses every sense of mystery about him...as in: she knows everything about you, you are around ALL the time, you call too much and etc.
Use the Push and Pull method to establish a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
Damian
Senior Don Juan
Push-Pull tactic works wonders guys. Remember that it's not just compliments that do the work, but wit and humor. Tease them and have fun. Make their time with you an emotional rollercoaster. If you give the girls that emotional rush every time they hang out with you, they'll easily get addicted. It's like cocaine for crack-addicts.
-Damian
-Damian
Re: Re: Turning Attraction into GF's
My dad always has had success with women naturally (yeah he is one of those guys, he just is born with the "gift") and always ignores women that he isn't interested in - and that happens more often than not. In most cases, the women get even more turned on and try even HARDER to grab his attention, but after a while, they quit of course. Why; because obviously they seem to realize that he is a lost cause.
Likewise with your situation which is quite similar. If you don't even offer them an ounce of attention from your precious time, then they will probably eventually give up. Of course, you can't choose to whom you will be attracted to, but these teenager crashes that girls have are only temporary from my past experiences.
So what CAN you do at situations like these? Well, as the fella I quoted above stated, don't become a predictable, boring guy. If she sees you too much, and you talk to her every single day, and you keep giving her attention, then that attraction that she used to have for you will slowly fade away. On the other hand, if you don't give her ANY attention, she will probably move on, as I already said. So yes, DO give her attention. When you do interact with her, always be interesting and fun to be around with. Make her laugh. Make her feel great inside. There are some good guys out there that do make some sense in some things they say. Check out Juggler's book, Swinggcut's or even David Deangelo's. They do inform you of what to do/say and what NOT to say or do when being around women.
The next day or two don't give her ANY attention, act as if you don't even know this god damn existance on planet Earth. Then after a while give her attention and talk to her again, then ignore.
The cycle goes like so: interact, ignore; interact, ignore; interact, ignore.
I think it is DD that says this: give her the gift of missing you. Always leave her wanting more from you. Never bore her by being around too much. That's basically it.
You hit the nail right on the head.
My dad always has had success with women naturally (yeah he is one of those guys, he just is born with the "gift") and always ignores women that he isn't interested in - and that happens more often than not. In most cases, the women get even more turned on and try even HARDER to grab his attention, but after a while, they quit of course. Why; because obviously they seem to realize that he is a lost cause.
Likewise with your situation which is quite similar. If you don't even offer them an ounce of attention from your precious time, then they will probably eventually give up. Of course, you can't choose to whom you will be attracted to, but these teenager crashes that girls have are only temporary from my past experiences.
So what CAN you do at situations like these? Well, as the fella I quoted above stated, don't become a predictable, boring guy. If she sees you too much, and you talk to her every single day, and you keep giving her attention, then that attraction that she used to have for you will slowly fade away. On the other hand, if you don't give her ANY attention, she will probably move on, as I already said. So yes, DO give her attention. When you do interact with her, always be interesting and fun to be around with. Make her laugh. Make her feel great inside. There are some good guys out there that do make some sense in some things they say. Check out Juggler's book, Swinggcut's or even David Deangelo's. They do inform you of what to do/say and what NOT to say or do when being around women.
The next day or two don't give her ANY attention, act as if you don't even know this god damn existance on planet Earth. Then after a while give her attention and talk to her again, then ignore.
The cycle goes like so: interact, ignore; interact, ignore; interact, ignore.
I think it is DD that says this: give her the gift of missing you. Always leave her wanting more from you. Never bore her by being around too much. That's basically it.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
rowing_mike
Don Juan
jester, I used to have your problem. Its not that you don't know where to go, it's that you're worried about making a mistake, or looking like a n00b or something. My solution: Read the site, get hammered in the company of the girls, let things sort themselves out. I did that, all those girls desperate for you, you can just slap their ass, ice cubes down the bra, whatever. Most of these will be cool, any mistakes you make you can blame on the alcohol. From there you realise girls aren't big and scary and turn everyone on you just for talking to them, and you're life as a DJ begins.