turning a pre university meet up into a date?

[pete101]

i'm going back to university this month and have been finding future college mates from facebook who are going to be on my course/going to the same university.

most people are moving into residences next week but i already live locally and made arrangements to meet up with this HB who's going to the same university as me and just happens to be living nearby.

seeing as she doesn't know anyone and is anxious about going to college it appears this meet up purely is for her to make friends the 'auto-LJBF' is looming as she needs a friend more than a boyfriend.

how do i remove myself from this scope and turn it into a semi-date without coming across as too full on?

normally i'd go in as if i was a date.. but i can see in this scenario she'd think 'what a creep.. i need to make new friends cos i don't know anyone and he's trying to hit on me taking advantage of my vulnerability. great. '

 

[daring wraith]

I would say establish a bond, any chance of meeting up before the term starts just to make "friends"?

In my experience to turn a meeting into a semi-date without coming across too full on, you should be approachable, friendly, flirtatious and funny. Establish a bond using the fact that two people have found themselves in the same position and are venturing into the unknown. Be her companion, get to know her and then you'll be in a position to "mould" the relationship to which ever direction you wish. This process, i have discovered can be very quick, 2-3 weeks springs to mind.

Also i'd like to add a note of caution, ensure you can get out of this "relationship" and keep her as a "friend" ,as there will be many attractive prospects around and one certainly doesn't want to get a bad reputation. Women talk.

Regards and good luck,

Adrian

 

[pete101]

the thing is she's in a vulnerable situation, she doesn't know anyone from the uni, wants to go to the events etc.. and im not going to be her afc companion who accompanies her to these events cos i'm too old to be hanging around with 1st year students.

i get the feeling she may latch onto me and auto LJBF's me unless i make sure i establish myself as a romantic interest rather than just a friend.. she may resent me if i try to do what i normally do on a date.

i guess kino and neg-hits and c+f material is a must but not too heavily on the kino but just enough for her to think it's not a date but turns into one?

 

[daring wraith]

i get the feeling she may latch onto me and auto LJBF's me unless i make sure i establish myself as a romantic interest rather than just a friend.. she may resent me if i try to do what i normally do on a date.

i guess kino and neg-hits and c+f material is a must but not too heavily on the kino but just enough for her to think it's not a date but turns into one?

You just said it... or rather typed it. Turn this "latching" in a "lusting", the trick to romance is to turn an otherwise normal meeting in to something much more personal and affectionate. What about watching a DVD in her room over a bottle of wine or champagne. Rooms in halls of residence tend to be small, you both may have to lie on the bed.....

Try and make a connection with her, become unforgettable, make her feel comfortable with you. Kino and a few compliments are a must, but other than that i don't what else to advise, it all depends on your techniques and how well you use them and also how well you can read her.

By the by, time is a factor here, at universities unwanted suitors are always in surplus. Move fast.

Good luck,

 

[pete101]

the thing is that she's a lot younger than me.. she's just starting and im going back to do my postgraduate so there's like a 6 year age difference.

it seemed like it was going well.. i kino'd quite a bit stared into her eyes a lot.. her eyes would move from side to side as i stared.. duno if it was a good sign, i'd neg her a bit.. maybe didn't do enough c+f..

the thing is i stayed way too long.. an hour meeting max we ended up just chatting for over 2 hours.. i think the key is to know when to leave so she lingers for more.. which i feel i failed.. cos towards the end i couldn't stop talking and talking incessantly.

the thing is.. she's so much younger than me.. should she not be the one to have to chase me? i feel embarrassed if i tried to pursue it and she rejects me as the older guy.

it's freshers week this week so everyone is out partying.. im aware she'll meet all her young friends and go partying and what not.. but i wanted her to have me in mind cos i'm older i add a different dimension rather than something for her to brag about.

bear in mind she needs friends not a bf yet.. so i played it well up to the extent of sounding quite clingy and desperate and scared she was gona leave suddenly when i should have just called an end to the meeting. now i left it rather too eager saying that i'll show her around the area this week before she moves down to her residence on the weekend.

i should probably just call her wednesday or thursday to see what's up?

 

[daring wraith]

I see your dilemma, haha and im in the same boat as you. Im a 25 year old MBA student. I think you just have to relax... you're the mature one afterall. You should not worry about rejection ever, just focus on what you're doing.... flirting, being a player, wooing, romancing or whatever you want to call is simply "play time for adults"

Talked for too long?? i don't thing there is such a thing, ever had a girl say to you having talked all night, "wow, i feel like i've known you all my life". But it depends on how you play it.

Now please forgive me for saying this, but i feel i must:

the thing is.. she's so much younger than me.. should she not be the one to have to chase me? i feel embarrassed if i tried to pursue it and she rejects me as the older guy............

but i wanted her to have me in mind cos i'm older i add a different dimension rather than something for her to brag about...................

bear in mind she needs friends not a bf yet.. so i played it well up to the extent of sounding quite clingy and desperate and scared....................

Whats this your feeling? I think you have to ask what you want from this girl... you've mentioned rejection and concern for her emotional wellbeing several times. It also sounds like your overanalysing your moves and beating yourself up about it.... don't..it will wreck your confidence.

As to what to do next.... I can only suggest play it by ear, its highly unlikely shes going to fall in love or jump into bed with the next guy. I honestly think you have come across a bit clingy, but its not the end of the world. Give her sometime, let her go out, don't call her... drop her a text asking how shes getting on....have a text message conversation... longer time talking, alot less said... then ask her to the student union for a drink... everything nice and natural.... and above take a deep breath, accept what has happened has happened, stop analysing every move you make, relax, focus, reinforce your seduction style by looking at the techniques in this forum, remember what works for you and be confident.

Good luck to you, sorry if i've been a bit harsh, but i think it was neccesary.

Regards,

Adrian

P.S. Read my motto, its in my signature, its always kept me going.

 

[pete101]

the thing is.. if i've played it right i should receive some sort of contact from her.

although given that she doesn't know anyone and seems to be in a vulnerable position that a contact may not appear as it seems. now she's gone to another fresher party she may or may not have met new people she likes. which is fine as long as i wasn't in the LJBF category. which i may or may not have been, with my better judgement i would have gone for the kiss close.. but then she might have thought i was a creep, although she wasn't adverse to my kino-ing touching her face hair etc so i think i succeeded in turning it into a semi-date although the next move will determine where she places me.

the 1 thing that i did notice was that cos she was younger it seemed as if she was tryna prove herself to me and i didnt' do enough to make her qualify herself to me more. when i call her tomorrow to ask how the party was etc etc.. she has parties to go to every night this week and she's leaving my local area to move to residence this weekend so realistically i have 2-3 days to see if i can get her to come out with me and neglect her fresher uni parties.

that seems a far ask dont you think?

 

[pete101]

yep well i think this backfired, i called her 2 days later, i should have got to the point straight away rather than chit chatting for 25mins.. didn't go as i'd hoped, tried to arrange a meet up in an hour there and then she text me later saying she wasn't going to a uni party but was just gona get some sleep.

i proceeded to call her 15 mins after her reply she didn't pick up, so i did the save text by cancelling and saying i was busy next 2 days but free sat so we could meet then.. in the follow up even tho she had already cancelled.. i was sinking anyway. she texts me 'great, i'll text u then'

i proceed to text her earlier today asking when i should pick her up.. i probably should have called instead although she may not have answered..... anyway when i tried calling few hours later her phone was off and has been off all evening.. the way i look at it is how i described it.. seems a bit creepy someone 6 years older than her is tryna mack on her pre-university.. cos she wants to LJBF me she's just ditching me now for her 18 year old friends.. and if i don't stop im embarrassing myself.

i think i better leave it.

 

[jdon23]

"normally i'd go in as if i was a date.. but i can see in this scenario she'd think 'what a creep.. i need to make new friends cos i don't know anyone and he's trying to hit on me taking advantage of my vulnerability. great. "

Why would you even put yourself in the 'creepy guy' category? To me, it seems like you have very little inner-confidence about yourself and this insecurity was reflected in your posts.

You became obsessed with the fact of getting her interested that you forgot about the most important thing-- being relaxed and having fun.

Forget about this girl, just think.. you can always do better