Turning a friend into a lover

[LongDrinkofWater]

Christmas present? Like someone said earlier, that will be your final mistake. But, from reading your posts, you've got it bad for this girl, so if you feel like you just have to get something, make it a card, nothing more. Don't go over the top with sentiment and mush. Keep it simple, relevant to the holiday, and brief. Believe me, she'll read the card and attach her own meaning to it, regardless of anything you've written on the inside. Just allow her to use her imagination.

 

[Rovalier]

I never said anything about "writing" a card for her. Just get those cards with something written already and sign your name at the bottom.

Remember a half arse "effort" is still an effort.

 

[O Snap]

i did not read all of the replies but i have been going through a similar situation.

I stopped contacting her, and made her contact me.
I went out and met new people and tried to forget about her
I did not hang out with her on the weekends for at least 3 months(and we are really close friends)
I let her see me make out with other girls
And i then invited her to come with me to an event on the weekend(things proceeded to happen)

Oneitis is a horrible thing to have. I have had it before with girls, but i feel this situation is different.

You have to show her that you have moved on with your life, she will start craving the attention that you are giving to other girls. She has to see you in a different light, and this is the best way. Besides, it could just be oneitis, and if you meet another girl, it will all go away.

Go on with your life. Don't bend for her. Make her bend for you. Go out and try to improve every aspect of your life, and whatever happens happens. Just remember that she should probably initiate it. The girl i am talking about told me a couple of days ago that she has been interested in me for the last month and half, but she did not think anything would happen because she saw me moving on. SHE then made the extra effort.

Try that, and good luck.

Just remember to do what makes you happy.

 

[Hound_of_Love]

Originally posted by O Snap
she will start craving the attention that you are giving to other girls.

This is the truth of it all. It's why, even if you do turn her around, the whole thing is likely to be based on a shaky foundation. I speak as one who is also in a similar place at the moment.

A girl I was into a couple of years back has started talking to me again, inviting me places when she never used to take the initiative. Hell, I'd still love to go there but I'm aware that back then she didn't like me enough to be with me, so what's changed? There just wasn't the attraction in who I was. How could there be any mileage in anything beyond the possible one-nighter?

I'm happy to be friends with her now. Enough time has passed and I went through all the sh/t you're setting yourself up for here.

One way or another it's over and you should just walk away. If you get a second chance, that's a bonus. If you don't, you gained some valuable experience. If you walk into 'trying to be friends' with your eyes open, you'll come to regret it later.