"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

Turn her down nicely?

Joined
Feb 21, 2004
Messages
131
Reaction score
0
Hey guys

I met this girl a club last week through a friend. She was dressed up very nicely and looked nice enough. She got my number from one of my friends and we went for coffee last night. Anyway, let's just say that without the make-up and fancy clothes, she looks VERY young. NOT only that she IS young (17). When I picked her up at her house I was shocked at how young she looked. Not only that she is too short for me (I am a very tall guy).

I felt like one of those sicko's who dates younger girls cos' he can't get girls his own age (I'm 22). A 5 year age gap is fine, but not with a girl who turned 17 two months ago. Anyway, she has a big crush on me. Before I went on the date with her, my (female) friend who gave the girl my phone number said to me "Don't hurt her." Now this female friend could lead to a relationship or just sex down the road. So I need to let down my "date" nicely. Obviously the way I handle this will either make a good/bad impression on my female "friends".

She is a very nice girl, shy, etc. And I want to let her down gently as I don't think she has the biggest ego around. She REALLY likes me (you know, highschool girls :rolleyes: ). I want to keep in contact because who knows what could happen in 3 years :). If I cut her off completely that will hurt her the most, and piss my friend off.

I don't intend to offend anyone who is dating a girl much younger than them, every situation is different. It's just I don't want to date this girl.

Any advice?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2003
Messages
963
Reaction score
39
Location
Australia
Is she fun to hang out with? If so, then put her in the friendzone. Go out with her (and other friends if necessary) as often as you can be bothered and just enjoy yourself. If people ask if you two are a couple, just go totally AFC and look at them as if they are crazy and say things like "Nah, she wouldn't be interested in me". You'll come off as clueless or shy instead of as an arsehole.

I wouldn't worry too much about the 5 years at your age, but if it bothers you, put her on layby for a couple of years. I had a girl chase me when I was 17 and she was 13. Had to knock that one back, but I saw her about 5 years later and I have been kicking myself ever since (She ended up looking like Holly Marie Combs off that tv show Charmed).

Failing that, she probably has some friends who will make you not mind the 5 year difference so much :)
 

Befuddled

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 26, 2003
Messages
158
Reaction score
0
Age
46
Location
Perth, Australia
Umm..i kinda know what you mean.
I got totally wasted and ended up spending the night with an 18 yr old. trust me...i was too drunk to know how old she was or what i was doing. i sobered up in bed. luckily we didnt go all the way. and as it turns out shes a hoe.
My advice to you is this. and i very rarely say this, so.... just talk to her and tell her shes a great person,blah,blah,blah, but she IS WAY too young. And that if she was like 19-20 youd definately go out with her, or something.

No need in beating around the bush, and you get to keep your face.
 

AFK Protector

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2004
Messages
1,596
Reaction score
4
Location
United States of America
As I always say, don't turn them down nicely. Turn them down straightforwardly(is that a word?).

It may seem harsh, but they will get over it much faster. Think about it. If a girl says, "um..maybe...I'll what I have to do." You may think "****...maybe I still have a chance NEXT week." But a straightforward, "no, i don't think that's the next step." or something much better than the crap I bsed will do the trick.
 
Top