Trying to understand "frame"

[sosumba]

I have seen many people here and in this spehere using the term "frame" and "masculine frame". What is this frame eveyone is talking about?

Is it the notion of not being nice and goofy all the time?

 

[sosumba]

Denying being controlling is to enter her frame, or to acknowledge her point of view is the correct baseline.

This concept is hard for me to grasp. So if she accuses me of anything I shouldn't deny it but instead tell her I might be in some situations (but in other words). If I told her "everyone is entitled to their opinion" is that still holding frame or am I entering hers?

Some women somehow manage to get under my skin with random accusations like that and I just cant help it and start to defend myself.

 

[Serenity]

It sure can be hard to grasp, because it's a metaphysical concept. Hopefully you can relate to the concept of narrative, frame is not unlike that. You want to remain in control of the frame of your interaction with women, just like you see people trying to control the narrative of the news. Frame is the same but you just have to control the narrative for one or very few people, not a huge mass.

If you lose frame as we say, it means you're not controlling it and she can control the narrative of your relationship as she pleases. In addition to her disrespecting a man who can't take control, when a woman takes control with a lack of respect for you, she will turn on you.

You can also think of frame like laying down the rules of the game, having her playing the game you have laid out. If she controls the frame, the rules of the game and you don't like the game she's making you play then you'll have a bad time. Giving away your frame is a risk where the odds are stacked against you, most times she'll grow resentful and abuse the power given to her. You must control the frame or fall victim to everyone else's decisions, this is what it is to have a spine.

Saying "masculine frame" is kinda redundant, men are naturally more inclined to control the frame, to influence the direction things are going. Women are naturally inclined to follow and seek a good leader, if you can't control the frame, then you can't lead and thus she will disqualify you. If you can control the frame, if you can lead, the next thing she will check is whether you are a good or bad leader. You can't just force your frame upon someone and expect "having frame" to be the solution to all problems, it must also be something she will want to follow. Even the most alpha of alphas can fail if they abuse their power.

Hopefully I have provided enough context to build your understanding of frame. Due to the nature of it I can't really avoid explaining it metaphorically.

Edit: Grammatical corrections, had a few beers.

 

[Spaz]

Frame = sum total of ur true current self.

Broken down, for easy understanding, frame = your inherent personality (passive/dominant) and ur childhood upbringing + how you think (knowledge/experiences) + how you do things (how you act in real life).

What you can't change is ur inherent personality and ur upbringing.

But you can change how you think and that will influence how you do things in real life thus potentially giving you a desired end result.

 

[forcerecon01]

In buddhist thought a frame is non-attachment

 

[MrWood]

I will add a few points of difference of AFC (beta) "frame" and an "male attractive frame"
masculine frame = not acting like a woman
masculine frame = being active and not reactive to women
masculine frame = leading with sexuality and decision making
masculine frame = not pandering or supplicating (or being cucked)
masculine frame = not dependent on women's acceptance

 

[Spaz]

I would need to add in as most men here has the perception that if you act in a certain way or copy what you think is best without internalising it then you've good to go.

That’s wrong and misleading.

You don't want that.

Some here might even ask you to act dominant but then problems will crop up since it's not in sync with ur inherent personality.

So you need to carefully download information into ur mindset, internalised it by practicing on it consistently, find out what suits you best and with the best end results.

This is a good place to learn and I strongly encourage you to read through the DJ Bible, some here might think it's outdated but I assure you it's not, masculinity has existed since ancient times and still remains very much valid today.

 

[Glassguy]

Good answers above.

I would add that frame is:

How you let others treat you, your self esteem, your value, confidence and most importantly, WHY you do the things you do.

Strong frame:
You do not tolerate disrespectful behavior. You simply use S&D or walk away.
You have high self esteem because you know your worth
You are confident in decision making and leadership
You do the things you do because they benefit YOU first and foremost. If your decisions also benefit others its a by product of your decisions.
You are not scared of walking away from someone who is disrespectful, not a benefit to you or is wasting your time.

Weak frame:
Tolerate disrespectful behavior. Most often because you are scared to lose that person who is disrespectful.
You have low self esteem.
You have low value and refuse to work hard to raise it.
You are not a good decision maker because you are not confident in your own abilities
You make decisions based on pleasing other people instead of pleasing yourself. You often do things that you later feel as though you were taken advantage of because you got nothing out of it.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

masculine frame = being active and not reactive to women

This is something I learned a while ago and it's a great point. When I read this my understanding has been to not let a woman poke you into becoming emotional (angry, frustrated, etc).

However, I have been wondering lately if withdrawing as a reaction to what a woman does should be included in the definition of non-reactive. For example, let's say she does something you don't like and as a result, you withdraw your time and attention accordingly. Could that be defined as reactive? I used to think not, but lately I have been reading a lot about female communication and that being masculine and having strong frame means leading women through that kind of thing without your withdrawing. I think a lot of times people withdraw to protect themselves. That could be seen as insecure, or cowardly. But at the same time, I'm not suggesting staying with someone who mistreats you. I am more pondering the fine line of understanding that women don't communicate the same way as men.... learning to understand what she is indirectly communicating in her feminine way.... not taking it at face value.... and responding with courage and leadership instead of slinking away VS recognizing there is a problem in her that can't be solved which gives you no other choice but to withdraw or end things.