"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Trying to Seduce Girl in Drive-Thru (a journal)

bigneil

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I saw another dream girl recently, one who is the more innocent and natural version of my current girlfriend. As oneitis is setting in over winter, I need to pursue an alternate option. She reminds me of my current girlfriend back when we first met about 16 months ago, with her natural brown hair, blue eyes, and little or no makeup.

The catch: she wears headphones and works at a barista as the drive thru girl.

I thought it would be worth keeping a live journal since this is a from-scratch situation that could go either way.

In about 3 times seeing her over the past 10 days or so she has already made eye contact, smiled, come over to take my cup as I was leaving and thanked me, come around and asked me to excuse her to get something out of a cooler (point blank deep eye contact). Last time she came over as I was handing another girl my cup and she smiled, blushed and looked down in submission (Body Language 101) and all the signs where there. This morning I happened to be seated by the door drawing when she came in early and as I looked up from my notebook she smiled as she walked by. I got to see her out of uniform (god, what an as-s). She's about 5'2" 110 with pale skin and no tattoos that I can see. I'm hoping she will be my next model but it sounds like a pickup line unless I get to know her first.

Anyhow I was trying to think of ways to seduce a girl in the drive thru.

Idea: I'll have one of my friends drive thru in a car while she's working and I'm inside. She'll ask him: "Can I take your order?" and he'll be instructed to say "Yes, I order you to flirt with the guy in the bow tie. Walk over to him. Unbutton your top blouse button. Primp your hair. Do the eyebrow lift and smile. Hold eye contact..."

Have you ever seduced a woman who was wearing live headphones?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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bigneil

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So today I returned to the coffee shop and as luck would have it, she was in the serving area for the first time (the only area where I would have a chance to talk to her without interrupting her work). The timing seems perfect with this one as it often does when you find a match.

I was standing right in front of her and we had a moment alone as she prepared my coffee. She was staring at me, point blank with a big smile when our eyes met. We were standing at a spot with the sun shining on us both. I said "I always see you but I don't know your name" - she pointed to her name tag before realizing she didn't have one and then told me her name (my name was on the order). I said "You remind me of someone with a birthday of (xyz)" and she told me her birthday. I guessed the year as 1997 but she said 1992 so she's not too young for me at age 25. I told her what day of the week she was born and she said "How did you know that?" so I know she is an intellectual (when women don't realize what I did they tend to be either not that smart or not that interested). I told her it was nice to meet her and disappeared into the (unusually large) crowd. She was beaming in a sunbeam. That was precisely the interaction I had hoped for.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Chev.Chelios

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Roll through the drive thru with other bomb ass hoes get her snap chats and bang girls on your story..

Really tho girls get hit on so fvcking much at coffee stands.. it's literally a river a dck running thru.. lolol

Ex works as a barrista and all I hear from her everyday are weirdos creeping on her.

But if you have bomb azz hoes you'll be set apart from the rest;)
 

screwball

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So today I returned to the coffee shop and as luck would have it, she was in the serving area for the first time (the only area where I would have a chance to talk to her without interrupting her work). The timing seems perfect with this one as it often does when you find a match.

I was standing right in front of her and we had a moment alone as she prepared my coffee. She was staring at me, point blank with a big smile when our eyes met. We were standing at a spot with the sun shining on us both. I said "I always see you but I don't know your name" - she pointed to her name tag before realizing she didn't have one and then told me her name (my name was on the order). I said "You remind me of someone with a birthday of (xyz)" and she told me her birthday. I guessed the year as 1997 but she said 1992 so she's not too young for me at age 25. I told her what day of the week she was born and she said "How did you know that?" so I know she is an intellectual (when women don't realize what I did they tend to be either not that smart or not that interested). I told her it was nice to meet her and disappeared into the (unusually large) crowd. She was beaming in a sunbeam. That was precisely the interaction I had hoped for.
Wow. You should write poetry man.

If you get the time can you write me something sweet to say to get my ex to take down the crap portrait she painted of me?

We were born on the same day 10 years apart.

good stuff
 

bigneil

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Wow. You should write poetry man.

If you get the time can you write me something sweet to say to get my ex to take down the crap portrait she painted of me?

We were born on the same day 10 years apart.

good stuff
What day are your birthdays?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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screwball

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I'm July 27! You both just came into season on April 17, 8 days ago. Could you feel the shift? From now until October 17 you are in the zone.
INCREDIBLE!

you nailed it!!

Can you write me a poem to copy and paste to my ex BPD?

Don't make it like her crap portrait of me.

thanks bigneil
 

bigneil

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You might send her this
INCREDIBLE!

you nailed it!!

Can you write me a poem to copy and paste to my ex BPD?

Don't make it like her crap portrait of me.

thanks bigneil
I'm not a poet, but you might send her this (you might put your birthdays in and take a screen shot that you send with the link). I'm working on allowing you to save the dates in the URL.
 

bigneil

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Come to think of it, I went in a couple weeks ago and as I was ordering I said it was hot in there. The next time I went the cashier (the second hottest girl there) said "When I saw you come in I turned the heat down".
 

sazc

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neil wants to drag this out .. he wants to pursue to the point of where they are beyond panting for him to ask them out, and then he's going to make them wait some more
 

bigneil

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neil wants to drag this out .. he wants to pursue to the point of where they are beyond panting for him to ask them out, and then he's going to make them wait some more
I spoke to her exactly one time and sazc says I'm dragging it out? Wait, I should have said "What's your name, what's your number?" in one breath?

Meanwhile, after 7 months of sex with my girlfriend (a girl who I seduced twice, the first time when she was a waitress, the second time when she was stark naked on stage), sazc says "good luck with that one".

Remember guys: beware asking advice about women from other women.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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bigneil

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1st Encounter after getting her name.

So today I went there again and my favorite barista, who I will call Coffee Courtney was already at work. She wasn't in the delivery area but as I waited for my coffee she came over and waved and said hello. She didn't call me by name though.

However a coincidence happened. I was working on my app and wrote "birthday today button" and at that moment I heard a woman saying happy birthday. It was the other cute cashier who turned the heat down for me. So I went over to order another coffee and said happy birthday and showed her my app and put in her and (when I asked her boyfriend's she reminded me it was her husband's) birthday and told her they are close to an ideal match. The whole time my favorite girl was standing beside her listening in.

Later as I was leaving Courtney had her back to me but I called her by name and she smiled and came over. Taking a chance I said "You have your natural hair color" and she said she did and I said "you never dyed it" and she said no and I said I could tell. She said "Thank youuuu!" in the exact sexy tone my girlfriend always says it. She was beaming once again. She has the shiniest cheeks when she smiles. Because she doesn't know my name yet I chose to wait to ask her out.
 

Von

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BigNeil, I am curious what happened to my gf is the best, hottestest, crazy in bed, rated 99%

You write great advice and deep stuff.

However, you show hell of insecurities-oneitis on this forum for the "girl"

Why you seek to change already? What happened?
 

bigneil

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BigNeil, I am curious what happened to my gf is the best, hottestest, crazy in bed, rated 99%. However, you show hell of insecurities-oneitis on this forum for the "girl"

Why you seek to change already? What happened?
I'm going out with the model whose face rated 99% tomorrow. It was 6 months ago tonight, on our third date, the night she first took off all her makeup, that I fell in love with her (a photo from that night rated 93% as a full body shot). I've loved her ever since. Tomorrow night we are doing an outrageously sexy photo shoot that we've planned for months. I had a bad day and tried to break our date yesterday but she sent 7 messages and we both confessed our love to each other.

So wait: on one hand you say I am insecure and have oneitis for her, but as I attempt to seduce another woman you are saying I should put all my eggs in one basket and commit to oneitis?

Note: my girlfriend is bi and I think a key move is my finding another girl who she likes and seducing her. When I first saw Courtney I thought "OMG my girlfriend would LOVE her!"

Regarding the age-old question about when to ask a girl for her number. I feel as though I need to get to the point where she knows my name before I ask her out. Otherwise, I'm "that guy who asked her out", not "Neil".
 

bigneil

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Tuesday, May 2.

I went back in and noted there are 3 primary girls who work the cashier and they rotate, with additional staff (it's a madhouse there with about 10 workers).

Girl A was there today, Girl B had the birthday last time, and Girl C is my Coffee Courtney but I didn't see her.

As Girl B did last time, Girl A said "Double Espresso?" and had it made for me when I got to the counter. She said "What is your name?" and I told her. She then said "I know your face and your drink but not your name". I asked her name. Then she said "I heard you were working on an application that analyzes dates?" and I said "Yes. Last time I was here just as I wrote the word birthday I heard it was (Girl B)'s birthday" (pointing to my left at her). Get this. Then I said "when you remember numbers you notice a lot of coincidences" - at the exact moment I said the word 'coincidences' I turned (to my right) to see my girl Courtney (Girl C) appearing from the back room putting her apron on. She overheard the tail end of my conversation with Girl A as she walked by and started fixing her hair when she saw me. We didn't make eye contact this time but my goal of getting them to call me by name on target. Unless Courtney can brag to the other girls about my asking her out, she won't say yes anyway.

If there is one thing I've learned in life, it's that those little coincidences are the Universe's way of telling us we are at the right mile marker at the right time in life, and to follow that path.

To be continued...
 

zekko

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I like your strategy of getting them to call you by name. Makes you seem like somebody instead of just a random customer.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

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