My girlfriend broke up with me about three months ago now...I haven't seen her since then, and the situation has gone through many 'phases'. I was her first serious boyfriend, and she claimed she just wanted to 'be by herself' for awhile, because she was really confused and 'had no idea who she was'. The first phase I went through right when we broke up was trying to convince her that she was making a mistake. I now realize that might not have been the best thing for me to do, but I had never been in that situation before, and I have learned from it. The second phase was us trying to be friends. This didn't last very long. It felt awkward, and after about a month, I told her that I needed to move on, and being friends wouldn't help. So in the two months since, I have enforced the 'no contact' policy that I laid down when I told her being friends wouldn't work. I don't know if she didn't think I was serious when I said that, but it is clear that she didn't think I would actually follow through with it. I have not attempted to contact her in two months. The same can't be said for her though, as she has contacted me from time to time, ranging from basic texts, to all-out crying on the phone, to which I basically have ignored her and said 'it's your problem, not mine...you are the one who asked for space, and you got it.' Well, this brings us to the latest 'phase' of the situation. Since she has realized I'm pretty serious about me not needing her in my life, and I am perfectly capable of living it without her, (I told her that I loved having her in my life, and I still care a lot about her, but I don't need her there) I feel she is slowly trying to make ME look like the bad guy in the situation. In one of her crying phone calls to me about a month ago, she had the nerve to say that I was the one who abandoned her. Being in the technological age we live in today, my friends always tell me all these quotes she leaves in her away messages like 'Pay attention to the ones who care, before you try to get the attention of the ones who don't.' It is clear that after three months of not seeing me, and talking like we used to, this is still on her mind. And she is actually trying to make it look like the reason we aren't a part of each other's lives anymore is MY fault. How selfish can you be? That being said, I can't be the one to confront her about it right? That would make it look like all her 'games' are getting to me. How do I go about handling this new accusing stance of hers? Just ignore it like I have everything else, and she will eventually give in and contact me?
Trying to Put the Blame on Me...
- Thread starter A-Man2151
- Start date
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Master Don Juan
Ignore it. But dont be angry at her. Emotionally she's reacting like a child.
SInce you are still emotionally attached , this is getting through your personal boundary.
Be courteous and polite. Bear no animosity toward her.
She's reacting , not thinking logicall and rationally.
She's not ready for a relationship.
It's ok to let her know that she is twisting things around though...
Remember, ALL this is her 'problem' , not yours.
Good luck.
SInce you are still emotionally attached , this is getting through your personal boundary.
Be courteous and polite. Bear no animosity toward her.
She's reacting , not thinking logicall and rationally.
She's not ready for a relationship.
It's ok to let her know that she is twisting things around though...
Remember, ALL this is her 'problem' , not yours.
Good luck.