Trying to Get My Game Back

[CompleteControl]

Working on getting my game back. All opinions welcome.

Quick background:

About 2 weeks ago, I ended an LTR with a 29yo I had been seeing for 2 years. I was very successful prior to that. I have been trying to get my skills and my "state" back.

Last week I opened a 22yo hb8 and had her all over me within 20 min - then her BF showed up and dragged her out of the bar. (She had been out with her friends). Last night I opened a 4 set and number closed a 27yo hb9.

The Question:

Earlier I met up with a 25yo hb8(friend/pivot/occasional playmate) at a bar - she left early and I ran into some other friends and stayed to finish my beer. I was getting ready to leave and I saw a 26yo hb7.5 and I figured what the hell!

I went over and said hey, blah, blah, blah. We had a fun conversation. I thought I had her hooked. I thought she was showing real interest.

The signs I noticed were:

Holding eye contact, twiddling her hair, she continued the conversation when I paused, She made a point to mention the friend she was meeting was a girl, she was going on vacation in two weeks (made sure to mention it was with her sister), she doesn't go out a lot, she's a manager - can't hang out with coworkers, wants to get married have a family, asks what I do - acts interested, was fine with kino although no huge response(I touched her wrist and slid my hand to her elbows while I was being unbelievably charming), more - I can't remember now.

Anyway, I finished my beer and I thought I totally had her so I just said "hb, I have to go, this has been fun, we have to get together for a drink. (yeah, yeah I know I did not bring my A game).

She said " A drink huh ... well ah.. you come here a lot, right? well I am friends with one of the managers so I'm sure I'll see you around.

I said "cool, have a great time on vacation" and walked out.

I don't want to make excuses for myself, but please don't waste my time with "you should have said this" crap. I obviously did not have her where I thought I did. I had comebacks to her resistance but I really didn't care enough to bother.

Please don't say "forget about her" - I already forgot what she looks like and I won't remember her name by tomorrow. This is all about improving my game!

A few things I am pondering:
1) I misread her interest
2) I had 3 drinks and she only had a sip of her drink.
3) A loser friend of mine threw a peanut at me from across the bar in the middle of my routine.
4) I was too confident and/or tried to close her too soon.
5) I have absolutely no game and I should join a monastery.

Thanks for any intelligent input!

 

[Vulpine]

First and foremost:

Don't sweat it. That's a huge part of your game - handling rejection. Which, in this case, it wasn't. You got cold feet at the end and didn't close hard. But, you still closed - you'll more than likely run into her again. When you do, it would seem from the scenario you outlined that she'll have had plenty of time to wonder about you and wonder why you didn't try to get down her pants. Ya think?

 

[Sam Gold]

Dude your talking to the opposite sex, good enough!

In LA clubs and bars, I see tons of guys just stand and stare(I do too), but if I see something truly I like (my body and gut react), I go for it!!! It is only in this frame of mind, I don't care about rejection. Don't get me wrong, the aftermath of the rejection may hurt depending how bad you wanted to BONE the girl/lady.

 

[MacAvoy]

The only thing I would have suggested was to come out and ask for her number instead of just suggesting going out for a drink. You should have told her to give you her number so you can go out sometime. Don't limit yourself to going for a drink. With a quality broad, (LOL quality and broad don't exactly belong in the same sentence), she won't limit herself to the bar scene.

Otherwise your doing a good job, going out approaching. Keep it up.

 

[CompleteControl]

First and foremost:

Don't sweat it. That's a huge part of your game - handling rejection. Which, in this case, it wasn't. You got cold feet at the end and didn't close hard. But, you still closed - you'll more than likely run into her again.

Thanks for the input! After thinking about it, I think you are right. It felt like a rejection but it may have been a wishy-washy answer to a wishy-washy close. I should have closed hard. I am rusty!

When you do, it would seem from the scenario you outlined that she'll have had plenty of time to wonder about you and wonder why you didn't try to get down her pants. Ya think?

Lol, I always opt for leaving them baffled versus supplicating if I can't come up with a better idea at the moment. In my younger years I spent too much time wondering what a woman was thinking - I prefer having women drive themselves nuts wondering what the hell I am thinking!

 

[CompleteControl]

Dude your talking to the opposite sex, good enough!

In LA clubs and bars, I see tons of guys just stand and stare(I do too), but if I see something truly I like (my body and gut react), I go for it!!! It is only in this frame of mind, I don't care about rejection. Don't get me wrong, the aftermath of the rejection may hurt depending how bad you wanted to BONE the girl/lady.

Thanks man! When I was younger I would stand and stare a lot - I was terrible in the club/bar scene. Because I had just enough women come on to me that I would interact with socially I never really had to improve my approach skills. I am very good with woman - but right now I want to become "a force to be reckoned with" with women, if you know what I mean.

One piece of advice I will give any guys reading - go after woman whether they are perfect or not, you will be less likely to blow it when you meet the perfect one. If you have approached, talked to, closed 100 woman that you didn't care that much about you will have your game and conversation skills down to a science and appear much more at ease with yourself when you talk to the hb10 you have to have!

 

[CompleteControl]

The only thing I would have suggested was to come out and ask for her number instead of just suggesting going out for a drink. You should have told her to give you her number so you can go out sometime. Don't limit yourself to going for a drink. With a quality broad, (LOL quality and broad don't exactly belong in the same sentence), she won't limit herself to the bar scene.

Otherwise your doing a good job, going out approaching. Keep it up.

Thanks! I think you are correct. The more I think about it the "lets have a drink" close was lame - we were already having a drink together! I was thinking "she wants me - I don't even have to try anymore" - she showed me!

Besides not being a strong close I had been drinking, she could tell I have been to that bar often, I don't think she drinks much(believe it or not I don't drink that much either but I like to meet up with friends and have a drink or two) and (like I said above) we were having a drink together - therefore, I really didn't create much anticipation or excitement with the "drink" close.

I will always close stronger in the future. It is not over until she is naked and her legs are sticking up in the air.

"Quality broad" kind of makes me think of "sweet stripper" or "innocent prostitute." :crackup:

 

[MacAvoy]

"Quality broad" kind of makes me think of "sweet stripper" or "innocent prostitute." :crackup:

Reminds me of when I was 18 and I nailed my first stripper, I thought she was pretty sweet. So much so that my buddy ran into her at a strip club 3 hours away that I was going to go see her but I couldn't face the possible rejection of getting ID'd cuz drinking age was 19.

This escort I had once tried convincing me she was "innocent", she said "normally I just answer the phones but I need to make some extra money to go to this concert". I laughed to myself and thought a wh0re is a wh0re no matter which way you dress her up.

 

[JoeBlack]

3) A loser friend of mine threw a peanut at me from across the bar in the middle of my routine.

ok, forgive me for laughing, I just found this well funny!

I think don't worry about the small stuff. A combination of not closing hard enough, but probably more she just wasn't as interested as you thought?

 

[CompleteControl]

ok, forgive me for laughing, I just found this well funny!

I think don't worry about the small stuff. A combination of not closing hard enough, but probably more she just wasn't as interested as you thought?

I included it because I thought it would get a laugh - you were the first to pick up on it.:rockon:

In retrospect I think I mis judged her interest level also - I am usually quite good at reading women.

This will sound like total BS but I ran into a friend who was there that night - he said that after I left her girl"friend" showed up and he is convinced she is a lesbian.

Although it sort of fits with a couple of her responses that I may have misread, I prefer not to let myself off that easily - but I thought it was funny.

 

[DanelMadr]

Holding eye contact, twiddling her hair, she continued the conversation when I paused, She made a point to mention the friend she was meeting was a girl, she was going on vacation in two weeks (made sure to mention it was with her sister), she doesn't go out a lot, she's a manager - can't hang out with coworkers, wants to get married have a family, asks what I do - acts interested, was fine with kino although no huge response(I touched her wrist and slid my hand to her elbows while I was being unbelievably charming), more - I can't remember now.

I feel you I have similar problems sometimes.

First she can be way too good of an actress.....you know girls also learn how to seduce men to the point we ask them out....then 'Yeah I could have this one. Let's see for someone even better'...they are in "practicing only" mode.

Or she is just a warm kind of person.

Or she wanted you to try harder.

OR best of all she just wanted to fvck and you didn't even try to get to her pants - it happens in bars often - I mean lonely girls waiting to get laid with no bonds/phone numbers.

And sometimes you come across a very clever girl and she sees through you thinking 'he wants my piece o azz' and she's right, right? be honest

Or you was prejudged as playa...'Oh just another one who thinks he is good with women, I SHOW HIM his charm has no effect on me'.

You can see in her eyes, she is thinking one of these thinks and you know, you can tell nothing to change her mind about you only make things worse....if only she knows you better.

You are absolutely right....never say Hooray because of good weather, when still under mountain. Never assume anything.

and

My advice for you and myself for these situations:

When everything goes allright either close for phone and leave or get to her panties(kiss her at least) and then ask for phone.

+ MORE DIRECT APPROACH....mature/skilled women like this style - it is more sincere to closing for them and not the phone. If they reject you, laugh a bit to ease the situation and ask for the phone, then kiss and goodbye.