"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Trying to get girl using Facebook as only method

Dadude548

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The college year ended about a week ago and there is a girl in one of my classes that I wanted to ask out while I was in class but I chickened out. So I found her on FB. Right after I friended her we sent several messages back and forth and I kept her laughing.

A few days later I sent her message saying that we should get together for something. The message included a joke and a reference to a movie she really liked all rolled in to one. She really liked the joke and commented about the movie reference but totally ignored the get together thing.

A while after that I sent a message joking that she didn't say no and telling her to give me her cell number. That message was ignored.

A few days later, just as a test to see if she was totally ignoring me, I posted a video on her wall of something I found online that I knew she would like. She made a comment on the video "this is awesome by the way, thanks for sharing this :DDDD"

Now here I am.

Is there any way to salvage this? Or do I just forget about her since I already tried?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Harry Wilmington

Master Don Juan
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Dadude548 said:
Right after I friended her we sent several messages back and forth and I kept her laughing.
This is the problem with things like texting and/or FB messaging. Just because a woman types the words "LoL" doesn't mean she's actually belly-laughing on the other end. She could just be typing it because she knows YOU think you're funny and she's trying to be nice.

Dadude548 said:
A few days later I sent her message saying that we should get together for something. The message included a joke and a reference to a movie she really liked all rolled in to one. She really liked the joke and commented about the movie reference but totally ignored the get together thing.
Girls aren't dumb; they can read. She purposefully ignored your date inquiry because she's not interested.

Dadude548 said:
A while after that I sent a message joking that she didn't say no and telling her to give me her cell number. That message was ignored.
Because, once again, she's not interested in you like that.

Dadude548 said:
A few days later, just as a test to see if she was totally ignoring me, I posted a video on her wall of something I found online that I knew she would like. She made a comment on the video "this is awesome by the way, thanks for sharing this :DDDD"
Her liking a video doesn't mean she likes you. Plus, did she post anything on YOUR wall that would be entertaining to you? No - why would she when she's not interested.
Dadude548 said:
Is there any way to salvage this? Or do I just forget about her since I already tried?
Nope, no salvaging. You already tried - but your try was weak 'cause you did it on Facebook. It would have been better to have asked her out in person - now she's thinking "Wow, this guy who's been in my class all year is just NOW asking me out... over the computer?? WTF??" Even if she would have rejected the offer, at least it wouldn't have seemed like you were too afraid to ask her out to her face.
 

VladPatton

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You waited too long, man. You literally had months to think of a way to do it face to face. Not blurt it out on one shot, but you could of worked in the class vibe, gotten a little rapport and then just asked her to get a coffee/drink, whatever. If she refused, no problem, next time you see her you act like nothing happened. That would of been a great exercise for you to learn and better yourself.

Now, through Facebook, you're sort of grasping at straws, it's a bit late, man, Next time do things 'live action', you're in her class anyway.
 

Dadude548

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Nah, I'm not in her class anymore. I won't be seeing this girl anymore unless I can get her out with me.

Harry, thanks for the honest breakdown. I figured I had no chance.
 

BadNews

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She either has a boyfriend or is seeing someone more interesting than you. Sorry.

Edit: Her "status" on facebook means nothing. And if she's only "seeing" another guy but isn't in a committed relationship with him, she's obviously not going to tell you. Women spin plates too bud...don't be naive!
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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