Okay I need some input from you guys. Okay here is the situation: I been dating this girl for about 8 months nows and like always in the beginning every thing is cool. But lately I have been more restricted in the things that I can do with her. When I tried to kiss her in public she backed away from me. I found that weird and she gave me the reason that she does not like public effection. I cannot even put my arms around her because she moves aways when I put them around her. Yes I know i have let it get this bad because I have not spoken out about it or would this be more like a wussy move. Am I doing something that has made her lose interest in me or should I just move on. At this point I know that I have let my emotion to get the better of me and given her the power. Any tips on how may I turn this around?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Trying to figure out the girl.
- Thread starter R1cK
- Start date
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Lost In the Seas
Senior Don Juan
she apparently likes control and dominance in relationship and you have just become her pony in her stable collection, she probably has no real interests in you now other than being merely a plaything to have around
you must talk to her about it immediately, 8 months of dating and you can't hug or kiss her in public? that's total BS, there's no way i will take sh!t like that, you have to speak to her now, and if she doesn't change she's history
you must talk to her about it immediately, 8 months of dating and you can't hug or kiss her in public? that's total BS, there's no way i will take sh!t like that, you have to speak to her now, and if she doesn't change she's history
No it was not that she has not let me hug and kiss her in 8 months it that recently like within a month she has let me get that close to her any more. But you are right I know she is in control of the relationship. That is why I need a way to turn things around in my favor. I need some way of making chase after me. I have the confidence going to the gym down but I believe she has become accustume to it and it no longer has the effect that it use to. I am really getting frustrated with this situation and I know if I dont talk with her soon this feeling is only going to grown until it becomes a real problem. SO any more advise on how to change things in my favoer
yea R1ck - it honestly looks like you're the "pony in the stable". Your girl's behavior is definately a sign of DISinterest and possibly DISrepect - guess what you should do - DISS the b!tch!
A female with a high interest level would eat that kind of treatment up like cookies! She should be the one all over you. Don't get all wussified on her. Don't take that, man. You deserve better and you can get better.
Be cool.
A female with a high interest level would eat that kind of treatment up like cookies! She should be the one all over you. Don't get all wussified on her. Don't take that, man. You deserve better and you can get better.
Be cool.
Thanks for the input and you are right that it might be a sign of disrespect from her part. Well I am going to confront her on it. Not to act like a wussy or anything like that but more as a learning experience. I am curious of the female mind and how it works that is the reason I came to this website. All I need to know from her is does she want me as a friend only or keep it how it is but I will not put up with any of this any more. If she does agree to keep it how it is and does the same thing again then I am moving on. I should not be working so hard to get as sometihng small as a kiss. Thanks PimpNhard and Lost in Seas
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
a) You could have said or done something that lowered or interest level in you. You might need to get back to basics and spend less time with her, get hobbies to get you buzy (work out). Hopefully by remaining a challange, her interest in you will increase.
b) She is seeing someone else and has told him that she is single. Therefore if someone that knows him sees the two of you in public they will assume that you two are "just friends" and would not tell that to the new boyfriend in her life.
Either she is a control b1tch, lost interest or cheating on you. All 3 choices are not good, you better do something about it.
b) She is seeing someone else and has told him that she is single. Therefore if someone that knows him sees the two of you in public they will assume that you two are "just friends" and would not tell that to the new boyfriend in her life.
Either she is a control b1tch, lost interest or cheating on you. All 3 choices are not good, you better do something about it.
Yeah, my last girl was very NOT into PDA, and she made that clear from when we first started dating. I proceeded to sneak in putting my arm around her in public anyways, and she didn't like it sometimes.
My experience though tells me that it's more likely that she's not super interested in you. Unfortunately, that can be difficult to swallow, but you're going to have to put your ego in check and stop and smell the roses-
My experience though tells me that it's more likely that she's not super interested in you. Unfortunately, that can be difficult to swallow, but you're going to have to put your ego in check and stop and smell the roses-
Lost In Translation
Master Don Juan
lets look at the patterns
she moves away from you when you show affection in PUBLIC
not in private
so we isolate that. it's the PUBLIC deal.
why ?
in my EXPERIENCE and you can see this any time some chick likes you and some guy comes up and trys to bust a move on her in front of you
what does she do ?
GET AWAY FROM ME !!! and pushes the guy away
and gets back to giving me dove eyes and trying to get my number
so if a chick doesn't want people to think THAT GUY IS WITH her
she acts like YOUR CHICK
so i give you the 2 scenarios
1. she is ashamed of you
2. she is cheating on you and doesn't want anyone to see her with you / you arms around her
with number 2 if you just walking next to you she can say HE'S JUST A FRIEND and deny that she knows you like that
with your hand on her ass it's hard to deny that something is going on
either way you need to set this b*tch straight cause she is not acting right. a normal b*tch would be all over you.
good luck
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
she moves away from you when you show affection in PUBLIC
not in private
so we isolate that. it's the PUBLIC deal.
why ?
in my EXPERIENCE and you can see this any time some chick likes you and some guy comes up and trys to bust a move on her in front of you
what does she do ?
GET AWAY FROM ME !!! and pushes the guy away
and gets back to giving me dove eyes and trying to get my number
so if a chick doesn't want people to think THAT GUY IS WITH her
she acts like YOUR CHICK
so i give you the 2 scenarios
1. she is ashamed of you
2. she is cheating on you and doesn't want anyone to see her with you / you arms around her
with number 2 if you just walking next to you she can say HE'S JUST A FRIEND and deny that she knows you like that
with your hand on her ass it's hard to deny that something is going on
either way you need to set this b*tch straight cause she is not acting right. a normal b*tch would be all over you.
good luck
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
Okay DJ Damage I already to go the gym and work out to release stress and have sometthing to do. Everything you guys have said to me does make sense and I am going to keep that in mind when I confront with this issue. I will keep you guys posted to see how this turns out. And if it does turn out that she is seeing some one else on the side that I am not aware of then i will just move on an find someone else that will appreciate my time. I know what I am worth and should not be waisting my time with these little games. :woo:
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 21, 2004
- Messages
- 1,887
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A lot of girls do not like extreme PDA. By extreme I mean kissing, making out, etc in a public setting in front of people (clubs not included). The reason being, when these girls are single and they see another couple making out in front of everyone, it makes them sick. They don't like to do it for that reason.
Very few girls dislike minor PDA (holding her hand, giving her a hug in public, etc). The girls that dislike minor PDA usually dislike it because they just started seeing the guy, and he's handling them like they're his property right away. Note, some girls like this too. It depends on the girl.
However after 8 months of dating, no girl should have a problem with you holding her hand or giving her a hug or putting your arm around her. Either she is ashamed of you, or wants to look single, or both.
Either way, I don't understand why some of you guys would put up with this. Don't even try to talk it out with her, that's pretty much forcing her to hold your hand etc. You shouldn't have to force your girl to take affection from you. There are plenty of girls out there who love a guy that is willing to hold their hand or give them a hug in public. Don't settle for a girl that's ashamed of you, or wants to market herself as single.
Very few girls dislike minor PDA (holding her hand, giving her a hug in public, etc). The girls that dislike minor PDA usually dislike it because they just started seeing the guy, and he's handling them like they're his property right away. Note, some girls like this too. It depends on the girl.
However after 8 months of dating, no girl should have a problem with you holding her hand or giving her a hug or putting your arm around her. Either she is ashamed of you, or wants to look single, or both.
Either way, I don't understand why some of you guys would put up with this. Don't even try to talk it out with her, that's pretty much forcing her to hold your hand etc. You shouldn't have to force your girl to take affection from you. There are plenty of girls out there who love a guy that is willing to hold their hand or give them a hug in public. Don't settle for a girl that's ashamed of you, or wants to market herself as single.
Lost In Translation
Master Don Juan
yes. listen to MoM !!!
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
This is the reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I go with number 2!!!!
I can see her act this way if you've been with her for two weeks but 8 months??? Something smells rotten in /denmark!!!!
Yeah I'd go with option #2 as well.
Something is preventing her from wanting to publicly show her or allow you to display affection for her. That's not normal unless you are talking like total make out session in view of everyone So I'd side with her feeling guilty of something.
Something is preventing her from wanting to publicly show her or allow you to display affection for her. That's not normal unless you are talking like total make out session in view of everyone
So I'd side with her feeling guilty of something."You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
I would say that she isn't necesarily cheating, but she is very likely thinking about it.
Be thankful tho, you will be done with her before the ring is on her finger.
Be thankful tho, you will be done with her before the ring is on her finger.
okay let me tell you how I know that she has the control for now. See I let my emotions get the better of me by started acting like a wuss all over again. Not completely but still enough to I guess make a difference. See she is the first girl that I have gone out with that is not afraid to make fun of me and different situation (in a joking way). This makes the times we spend together interesting. She had told me that she likes the fact that I am willing to do almost any thing. I remember one time in a kind of a joking way she tried to get me to admit that she was my queen but I notice this and told her nope she was far from being that. Now that I have put serious thought into this situation I have decided to take this approach. Next time I try to give her a kiss in private and denies me that I am just going to back the HEll up. Stop giving her all that attention she is use to getting from me. Especially when I stop giving her massages because taht is something she loves recieving. Then my next step is going out more with the guys like just to keep my mind busy. I have read this statement before so it goes with this situation "I am going to give her the gift of missing me" Let me know what you guys think
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
QUIT GIVING WOMEN MASSAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman is the "nurturer" - it is her duty to soothe and console the man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All massage threads in the bible shoudl be destroyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP IT NOW AND FOREVER MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!