"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Trying to Decipher The Online Dating Puzzle

gaspipe

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Ive been on several online sites as a backup to my regular sarging but have always stumbled on the same problem which perhaps anyone of you who has experience can help me understand. Why is it after a woman initiates, shows interest and makes an effort to know you, almost always flakes after you aknowledge her.

Perfect example: An attractive hot latin MILF sends me a wink on match. Not acting needy I send her an email several days later with my phone number. She calls the next day. We have a pleasant but short conversation and she lets me know that she is interested. Actually, I cut the conversation short leaving her wanting more. She tells me to call her soon. I call her a couple of days later. She texts me that she is working but will call me that same night. That was almost a week ago.

I get about 20 winks and 10 unsolicited emails a month on match alone. Out of those maybe 10 percent I would consider women I would date. But it seems that when I acknowledge the ones I like almost all of them flake.

Some constantly complliment me on my looks saying how good looking, even gorgeous I look, but they dont want to meet up. Some of them stalk me online that is I can get multiple views suggesting that they are keen to me but they dont follow through. I even think some of them masturbate with my image because they seem to view me mostly late at night multiple times!

But why dont they just agree to meet! Is it fear, insecurity?

I also have an active profile on POF. I am having similar issues there too.

Can any experienced online dating cowboy enlighten me on what if anything Im doing wrong?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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spinaroonie

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1. They found a bigger, better deal.

2. They're there for the attention and the ego boost, and not serious about meeting men.
 

the_stig

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Spinaroonie just about summed it up.

I've had more girls than I can remember initiate contact, throw themselves at me, practically beg to meet up, and Voilà.. the next day they don't respond, flake, fall off the face, you name it.

What's funny is for sh!ts and giggles, I just changed my profession to Lawyer and education to PhD on POF and now I have a smokin' HB9 Blonde chatting me up like I'm worth a million bucks. I'll be milking this one for everything it's worth.
 

gaspipe

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the_stig said:
Spinaroonie just about summed it up.

I've had more girls than I can remember initiate contact, throw themselves at me, practically beg to meet up, and Voilà.. the next day they don't respond, flake, fall off the face, you name it.

What's funny is for sh!ts and giggles, I just changed my profession to Lawyer and education to PhD on POF and now I have a smokin' HB9 Blonde chatting me up like I'm worth a million bucks. I'll be milking this one for everything it's worth.
Watch out. I heard theres plenty of gold diggers on POF.:eek:
 

DonGorgon

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most of them are just "plants" there to keep you feeling motivated to keep trying.. people payed to send messages to men on the site so they dont leave and go to another site..lol

all these sites capitalize on the loneliness of men and its very very big business these days.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Borknagar

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DonGorgon said:
most of them are just "plants" there to keep you feeling motivated to keep trying.. people payed to send messages to men on the site so they dont leave and go to another site..lol

all these sites capitalize on the loneliness of men and its very very big business these days.
I totally agree, though as legit as POF may seem to be, I'm sure sure they use the same tactic as the known scam sites. Hell, theres so many hotties on there(or the pics at least) that you know most of them can't be real.

For example, the following women wouldn't have any problem finding a man in real life, and they aren't obvious fake model pictures either, but I tend to question how legitimate many of them are:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=29688879
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=29167226
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=21034011 <<hot!
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=28884066
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=10317492
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=28934925
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=29697052
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=11761259


Seriously, who thinks any of them would have any trouble at all finding a guy offline? They wouldn't even need to go to a bar. Not saying they're all 10s but really.
 

Solomon

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Had a chick who was DTF earlier this week, then BOOM she flakes, granted she was a "Mum" but eeeeh

POF like homie Stig said is for lol's I tell broads I'm a secret agent they eat it up, word of advice

Don't spend more then $20 on a pof chick on a date their not worth your money unless they swallow your load!

1
 

gaspipe

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Borknagar said:
I totally agree, though as legit as POF may seem to be, I'm sure sure they use the same tactic as the known scam sites. Hell, theres so many hotties on there(or the pics at least) that you know most of them can't be real.

For example, the following women wouldn't have any problem finding a man in real life, and they aren't obvious fake model pictures either, but I tend to question how legitimate many of them are:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=29688879
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=29167226
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=21034011 <<hot!
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=28884066
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=10317492
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=28934925
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=29697052
http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=11761259


Seriously, who thinks any of them would have any trouble at all finding a guy offline? They wouldn't even need to go to a bar. Not saying they're all 10s but really.

I would say a good 15-20% maybe higher are posers just looking for attention and the thrill of a bunch of horny men filling their mailboxes with all kinds of AFC nonsense. Its like that with any dating site and these are no exceptions.
 
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