trying to get a girl thats definitely LTR material, but the problem is that she is too busy with stuff (work, she's in a sports league and does a business on the side). i've gone on a date with her 3 times in the past 1.5 months. we try to talk on the phone at least once a week and email each back and forth 3-4 times a week. i feel i that if i persue a bit more then she would make more time as the relationship progesses. i don't know the best way to handle it, i don't want to give up on her but at the same time i don't know if i'm wasting my time.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
trying to date a really busy girl
- Thread starter gandutron
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
DJ Hawtness
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2005
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- 169
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- 0
Keep in contact with her, and make yourself extremely important to her if she's really special to you.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
But at the same time, don't focus your every waking moment to be available to her. Still pursue your own interests only one of which is her.
i hear what your saying and am doing my own thing. i usually ask for a date at the beginning of the week and its 50/50 its either i can't b/c of etc etc. then i usually banter with her during the week over email, while we are both at work. its pretty clear that were both interested, but i feel that she may be playing hard to get, but i don't want to press the issue.
If you have setup the 3 dates that you have gone on so far
Lean back a bit in the emails and phone calls, let her call you and then tell her to call you again and name a time when your not busy, if you can get her calling you, emalling you and doing thing for you it will break down her playing hard to get.
Try and act as busy as her (which you should be anyway)
And dont make it a big deal when she is busy encourage it.
Best of luck old mate.
Lean back a bit in the emails and phone calls, let her call you and then tell her to call you again and name a time when your not busy, if you can get her calling you, emalling you and doing thing for you it will break down her playing hard to get.
Try and act as busy as her (which you should be anyway)
And dont make it a big deal when she is busy encourage it.
Best of luck old mate.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Lost In Translation
Master Don Juan
i agree with SuperGigaloDJ's points 100%
she could make time there are 24 hours in a day
her interest level appears to be low
the emails and arms length stuff could get you sentenced to some prison time
IN THE FRIENDS BOX
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
Quote: Don Juanabbe
“ What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice? “
Quote: Player_Supreme
“ But if a ho wants to just be friends then don't waste your time. And I'm a debase character so your hooking up with her friend in front of her was sweet to my ears. “
Quote: Player_Supreme
“I've taken a fat chick and put her on a diet and training program and created my own super ho. “
Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “
Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ the 'pimp' mentality works today because you are living in a time such that there are an overabundance if hors - this is the Pimps playground!! Pimps and hors go together like bread and butter - they are complementary natures!!! Pimps need hors like hors need pimps!! “
Quote: squirrels
“ You NEVER pay as a supplicative or bargaining measure, though. The reward that she gets for her affection is YOUR affection. The reward she gets for her sex is YOUR sex. The second you start buying her stuff to keep her around, keep her entertained in your presence, etc...you're compensating for not having what it takes to seduce the woman, and that's totally unacceptable. “
she could make time there are 24 hours in a day
her interest level appears to be low
the emails and arms length stuff could get you sentenced to some prison time
IN THE FRIENDS BOX
Lost In Translation
**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**
Quote: Don Juanabbe
“ What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice? “
Quote: Player_Supreme
“ But if a ho wants to just be friends then don't waste your time. And I'm a debase character so your hooking up with her friend in front of her was sweet to my ears. “
Quote: Player_Supreme
“I've taken a fat chick and put her on a diet and training program and created my own super ho. “
Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “
Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ the 'pimp' mentality works today because you are living in a time such that there are an overabundance if hors - this is the Pimps playground!! Pimps and hors go together like bread and butter - they are complementary natures!!! Pimps need hors like hors need pimps!! “
Quote: squirrels
“ You NEVER pay as a supplicative or bargaining measure, though. The reward that she gets for her affection is YOUR affection. The reward she gets for her sex is YOUR sex. The second you start buying her stuff to keep her around, keep her entertained in your presence, etc...you're compensating for not having what it takes to seduce the woman, and that's totally unacceptable. “
i hear what you are saying about making time, the thing is we do live a bit away from each and seeing each other during the week is very diffucult, and this week her family is coming in to visit, so i just have to let that be, i'll probably ease off the emails.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Listen to SuperGigalo and Jprjrjr -- stay the hell off of e-mail!!!! This is not interactioin that cannot be weighed for interest!!!
Don't call her ever until she calls you to set up a date --- only then willl you know her true interest!!!! I don't know if you have the patience for this - but she knows you like her and she is sometimes too busy for you but if she wants you she'll come to you freely on her own volition!!
This should be the path you take!! At least for 3 weeks - if she says why didn't you call? tell her you were busy but now have time to see her "in person".
If distance is a problem then meet at a half-way point.
Don't call her ever until she calls you to set up a date --- only then willl you know her true interest!!!! I don't know if you have the patience for this - but she knows you like her and she is sometimes too busy for you but if she wants you she'll come to you freely on her own volition!!
This should be the path you take!! At least for 3 weeks - if she says why didn't you call? tell her you were busy but now have time to see her "in person".
If distance is a problem then meet at a half-way point.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2004
- Messages
- 1,930
- Reaction score
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From past experiences with EVERYONE. Not just girls. If someone cares enough about you, they MAKE time. Using time an excuse indicates that interest levels are not high enough.