Trying not to contact a girl I'm dating but...

[aeterna789]

So here's the story, bear with me. I've been dating this girl for a good 2 months now and everything was going great but then she started to get cold and distant. Less and less text messages or Facebook messages and essentially, none of the warmth she showed before. Every time we see each other (we go to the same law school), we say Hi to each other but that's pretty much it. I see her studying in the library and I join her like I usually do but this time something feels wrong.

Accepting the fact that I might be doing something wrong (I'm pretty bad at women and dating in general), I did a little research which led me here, particularly, this post made in 2012 which almost have similar facts with my current situation. I must say, it was very informative and helpful.

I'm using the replies on that thread as a guide and so I'm currently avoiding contact with her...HOWEVER...her birthday is coming up around 3 weeks from now. Before all this happened I was planning on surprising her with a birthday present but with everything that's happened, should I go through with it or maintain radio silence?

 

[mikey2012]

So here's the story, bear with me. I've been dating this girl for a good 2 months now and everything was going great but then she started to get cold and distant. Less and less text messages or Facebook messages and essentially, none of the warmth she showed before. Every time we see each other (we go to the same law school), we say Hi to each other but that's pretty much it. I see her studying in the library and I join her like I usually do but this time something feels wrong.

Accepting the fact that I might be doing something wrong (I'm pretty bad at women and dating in general), I did a little research which led me here, particularly, this post made in 2012 which almost have similar facts with my current situation. I must say, it was very informative and helpful.

I'm using the replies on that thread as a guide and so I'm currently avoiding contact with her...HOWEVER...her birthday is coming up around 3 weeks from now. Before all this happened I was planning on surprising her with a birthday present but with everything that's happened, should I go through with it or maintain radio silence?

She lost interest in you. Probably doing another dude. Go ghost and look for other chicks. Shes done.

 

[aeterna789]

Yeah, I think its done. Going ghost and moving on.

 

[BadNews]

You shouldn't be buying her any gifts whatsoever if you've only been seeing her for that long. And to be honest, I use the word "seeing" loosely. She's not in it dude, you shouldn't be texting her, calling her, studying with her, or any crap like that unless she's practically begging you to. DO NOT BUY HER A GIFT! Cut contact, go ghost.

 

[lexa]

I always wondered if going NC is the best policy. stop being needy and creepy for sure.. but NC sometimes backfires unless the one who initiates can actually become unemotional about it.

may be best to dump her before she does to you? at least you will have some power then. use some excuses like uni work, is not the best time whatever? Then you cut contact.

And then if you do want to send a birthday text or whatever, it would just be friendly, and she might actually misses you?

just my 2 cents.

 

[aeterna789]

Alright, I got past the storm that follows a rejection. I've been doing No Contact and it's been going -fine- to say the least. No Text, Call or Facebook Messages etc. Unfortunately, how the hell do you do No Contact when you see them occationally? Since were going to the same school and the same building, we're bound to bump to each other.

I've read most articles on dealing with this but now I'm confused, do I give her the cold shoulder and pretend I did not see her (Strict NO CONTACT) or wave (to keep things civil and show her I'm doing fine).

 

[Heisenberg]

I've read most articles on dealing with this but now I'm confused, do I give her the cold shoulder and pretend I did not see her (Strict NO CONTACT) or wave (to keep things civil and show her I'm doing fine).

The latter.

And there's nothing game-y about that. You weren't getting what you needed from her so you decided to move on. Why would you cold shoulder or act butt hurt in anyway? It wasn't the right connection, it happens ALL THE TIME, so go ahead and smile, be friendly, enjoy your life, just don't start up with the flirtation or suggest hanging out sometime or imply in any way that she'll be speaking to you again once this small talk is over.

 

[aeterna789]

Thanks! I'm still learning and wish I have discovered this forums earlier.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I've been dating this girl for a good 2 months now

Every time we see each other (we go to the same law school), we say Hi to each other but that's pretty much it.

YOu sure you two are dating? That doesn't sound like a couple dating.

 

[aeterna789]

YOu sure you two are dating? That doesn't sound like a couple dating.

Yes sir we were, we went on dates and had good times. The section of my original post you were quoting was AFTER she became cold and distant.