Trying an Edgy Profile......

[gixxer]

I've been neglecting my match.com profile lately since I've been having such good luck on myspace. This morning I decided to change up my match.com profile and since I really don't care what goes on with match.com at the moment I figured I'd lay on the ****y don't give a damn attitude and see what happens.

Here's the profile:

Describe myself? Fun, ****y, confident, over-confident at times, funny, sarcastic, driven, ambitious, intelligent...... I could go on and on LOL I'm looking for a really fun girl that loves motorcycle rides and actually knows how to ride. Someone who's flirty, fun, wild, adventurous and sexy. Thin, young and blonde is my type physically - I can be flexible on the hair but not on the thin or the young. I'd much rather date a girl that's into having fun and letting things run their course rather than some desparate late 20's early 30's woman on a husband hunt who's idea of fun is visiting her family in some God forsaken backwater in Maine or New Hampshire or throwing test after test at me to see if I'll make a suitable husband and father to the children she desparately needs to have before her biological clock shuts down her baby making machinery. If you're over 28 don't even bother emailing me. Sorry for the rant, but it had to be done LOL

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I see what you are trying to convey but you're coming off like those bitter women on Match that post:

Looking for a REAL MAN
I'm not looking for any game players or guys that don't call when they say they will. I am attractive and I want to be treated like the princess that I am. I'm not looking for a ONS, friends first and lets see what happens. He can have fun getting to know each other over dinner, a concert or a play and see how it goes....

Yadda, yadda, yadda....

Get what I'm saying?

 

[gixxer]

Got ya, Frisco!

I've been wanting to try this approach for a while so I'll leave it up for a week or so and then edit again. Thanks for the feedback.

Say hi to Dagny for me

 

[scordate]

try to focus on what you want instead of what you dont want !

i think the ****y approach is OK, especially since you target the one youngs

however perhaps try to play on womens feelings too ?

"I'm your man if you like sitting on back of my bike with only me to hold on to. Together lets cruise to the beach and see what happens"

/ scordate

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by scordate
try to focus on what you want instead of what you dont want !...

Very good advice.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by gixxer
Got ya, Frisco!

I've been wanting to try this approach for a while so I'll leave it up for a week or so and then edit again. Thanks for the feedback.

Say hi to Dagny for me

Try out a few different profiles, rotate them every other week or so and make note of not only your replies and winks, but also who actually views your profile. You'll be able to tell which one works well for you by the numbers you record.

I've been using a ****y and extremely funny one since early spring and I find it funny when I get replies like this from women who DIS-qualify themselves:

Subject: you are twice blessed

even more than me....?!!!
I envy your kindred spirit
Here I thought I was blessed....
I have read bout you ten tymes over and I know I dont have all the qualities you are hopeful for in a woman, but i still wanted to share with you, how deliteful you are...
Thanks for being you !!!
with a pretty smile,
Txxxxx

*** Name withheld to protect the lonely.


I didn't need to look at her profile to know that she isn't my type. Her reply screams of several things that just doesn't flip my switch in a woman. But it's nice to know that I'm attracting all types.

Happy sarging!

Oh yeah, I'll tell Galt to give Dagny your regards...

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I see what you are trying to convey but you're coming off like those bitter women on Match:

Very true.
You have to convert your profile from negative to positive, i.e. just say what you want... forget what you dont want.
I agree with scordate too.
And also - dont go for long lists of qualities...too many people do that already.

 

[gixxer]

Thanks for all the feedback guys.

I want to be VERY clear here though. I've been dating online for about 4 years and have been VERY successful with it. I am trying to do something very specific here: I WANT to come across as a ****y, highly selective JERK. I specifically want to see how being a blatant JERK works.

I don't want to sound bitter or frustrated though and I think there is a little of that in there. I'll work on it and repost......

gixx

 

[gixxer]

OK, did some work on it this morning. Here's what I have. Remember - I WANT TO COME ACCROSS AS A ****Y JERK.

PROFILE:

Describe myself? Fun, ****y, confident, over-confident at times, funny, sarcastic, driven, ambitious, intelligent...... I could go on and on LOL I'm looking for a really fun girl that loves motorcycle rides and actually knows how to be a good passenger. Someone who's flirty, fun, wild, adventurous and sexy. Thin, young and blonde is my type physically - I can be flexible on the hair but not on the thin or the young. I'd much rather date a girl that's into having fun and letting things run their course rather than some desperate woman on a husband hunt. I'm not into drama, kids, jumping into relationships after a week, boring stereotypical relationship activities, bringing you flowers, or kissing your behind. If you want a real man, however, you found him……...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by gixxer
Thanks for all the feedback guys.

I want to be VERY clear here though. I've been dating online for about 4 years and have been VERY successful with it. I am trying to do something very specific here: I WANT to come across as a ****y, highly selective JERK. I specifically want to see how being a blatant JERK works.

I don't want to sound bitter or frustrated though and I think there is a little of that in there. I'll work on it and repost......

gixx

Then I suggest to just use ****y for any humor you emote in your profile but balance it off with a healthy dose of self-confidence.

 

[scordate]

how about;

"ever tried BBM ?
bike, babe and me ?
i supply the B+M
you supply the babe
women over 28 need not apply

if you like something powerfull and hard,
if you like to be swept away,
if you like to cruise to the beach

send me your picture ASAP
and i'll pick you up very soon

i am fast as my bike but can take it
smoochy-slow when its needed"

sorry cant be much more ****y and jerky !

/ scordate

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by gixxer
OK, did some work on it this morning. Here's what I have. Remember - I WANT TO COME ACCROSS AS A ****Y JERK.

PROFILE:

Describe myself? Fun, ****y, confident, over-confident at times, funny, sarcastic, driven, ambitious, intelligent...... I could go on and on LOL I'm looking for a really fun girl that loves motorcycle rides and actually knows how to be a good passenger. Someone who's flirty, fun, wild, adventurous and sexy. Thin, young and blonde is my type physically - I can be flexible on the hair but not on the thin or the young. I'd much rather date a girl that's into having fun and letting things run their course rather than some desperate woman on a husband hunt. I'm not into drama, kids, jumping into relationships after a week, boring stereotypical relationship activities, bringing you flowers, or kissing your behind. If you want a real man, however, you found him……...

I think you've got it.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by gixxer
Remember - I WANT TO COME ACCROSS AS A ****Y JERK.

Describe myself? Fun, ****y, confident, over-confident at times, funny, sarcastic, driven, ambitious, intelligent...... I could go on and on LOL I'm looking for a really fun girl that loves motorcycle rides and actually knows how to be a good passenger. Someone who's flirty, fun, wild, adventurous and sexy. Thin, young and blonde is my type physically - I can be flexible on the hair but not on the thin or the young. I'd much rather date a girl that's into having fun and letting things run their course rather than some desperate woman on a husband hunt. I'm not into drama, kids, jumping into relationships after a week, boring stereotypical relationship activities, bringing you flowers, or kissing your behind. If you want a real man, however, you found him……...

Several things:
1. If you want to be a ****y jerk, dont show you like to think: "Describe myself?" - it is like a discussion. "intelligent" - she doesn't want that in a jerk, ok.
2. "I can be flexible.." A ****y jerk can be flexible? You kid me not...
3. Negativity "desperate woman on a husband hunt. I'm not into drama, kids...". Go for only positive stuff.

Anway, here is what I think based on what you wrote:
----
Fun, over-confident at times, driven, ambitious...
I'm looking for a really cool girl that knows how to be a good passenger on motorcycle rides: adventurous and sexy with a wild streak. Young, fit with blonde hair who can flirt with the wind.
A girl that's into having fun and letting things run their course.
If you want a real man, however, you found him...

 

[gixxer]

Nice! Thanks, al77.

gixx

 

[al77]

What do you think about this online profile?

Please critique this profile. Any opinions?

----
I want an opposite. A yin to my yang, a Laurel to my Hardy, a Hall to my Oates. You provide balance in my life – a joie de vivre, a je ne sai quoi, perhaps even a croissant – that is currently lacking. I’ll provide the corny French jokes. You’re up on current events, but you don’t sleep, eat and breathe it. You come from a close family, have a tremendously high sense of self-worth and you handle yourself like a champ at parties. You bike through Rock Creek Park, you play in a co-ed softball league and you can wield a paintball gun like Rambo – but it’s all about fun first and exercise second. You are mature for your age and know what you want out of life, but you’re not above a splash fight when rowing on the Potomac River on a sunny Sunday afternoon. And you won’t get pissed at me when I show no mercy in soaking you to the bone because one kiss from me makes it all better.
---

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by gixxer
OK, did some work on it this morning. Here's what I have. Remember - I WANT TO COME ACCROSS AS A ****Y JERK.

PROFILE:

Describe myself? Fun, ****y, confident, over-confident at times, funny, sarcastic, driven, ambitious, intelligent...... I could go on and on LOL I'm looking for a really fun girl that loves motorcycle rides and actually knows how to be a good passenger. Someone who's flirty, fun, wild, adventurous and sexy. Thin, young and blonde is my type physically - I can be flexible on the hair but not on the thin or the young. I'd much rather date a girl that's into having fun and letting things run their course rather than some desperate woman on a husband hunt. I'm not into drama, kids, jumping into relationships after a week, boring stereotypical relationship activities, bringing you flowers, or kissing your behind. If you want a real man, however, you found him……...

Overall it's ok, but you are softening your hard-on he-man persona with fluff words, try:

****y, confident, sarcastic, driven, ambitious, intelligent; I could go on but I don't have all day. I need a truly fun girl that loves motorcycle rides (as a passenger of course). Someone that's flirty, fun, wild, adventurous and sexy. I require a thin, young and blonde woman. Note that I am willing to be flexible on the hair; but not on the thin or the young (< 30 years old and < size 6).

I'd much rather date a girl that's into having fun and letting things run their course rather than some desperate woman on a husband hunt. I just say no to any and all of the following: drama, kids, jumping into relationships after a week, boring stereotypical relationship activities, bringing you flowers, or kissing your behind.

If you think you have what it takes, then you know what to do.

 

[manuva]

Originally posted by gixxer


PROFILE:

Describe myself? Fun, ****y, confident, over-confident at times, funny, sarcastic, driven, ambitious, intelligent...... I could go on and on LOL I'm looking for a really fun girl that loves motorcycle rides and actually knows how to be a good passenger. Someone who's flirty, fun, wild, adventurous and sexy. Thin, young and blonde is my type physically - I can be flexible on the hair but not on the thin or the young. I'd much rather date a girl that's into having fun and letting things run their course rather than some desperate woman on a husband hunt. I'm not into drama, kids, jumping into relationships after a week, boring stereotypical relationship activities, bringing you flowers, or kissing your behind. If you want a real man, however, you found him……...

1) Stop using the word fun. Even once is too much for that word, it's been done to death on internet profiles and it sickens me.

2) Don't use LOL if you're a jerk

3) Get rid of the whole Describe Myself bit, if you're a jerk you're not going to bother describing yourself, but rather your 'jerk' personality should shine through the profile through your writing style.

4) Paragraph.



Al77 - excellent profile. Call me intelligent, but I found it charming and amusing in the way I'm sure you hoped it would. Be aware that you'll only attract intelligent women, but for a guy who wrote a profile like that, I'm sure that's all you'd be looking for.

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by scordate
"ever tried BBM ?
bike, babe and me ?
i supply the B+M

You're gonna supply a BM? That's gross.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by drZaius09
You're gonna supply a BM? That's gross.

Oh dude, I can't believe you went there.... :nono:

 

[gixxer]

stevera004, really good suggestions. Hope you don't mind if I steal a few of them.........

gixx