tryin' not to be LJBF'd

[sduw]

A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out with a group of classmates, and one of girls was sending me some signals. Touching my arm and side at the bar etc., and on the ride over it came up that she and her bf where having a rough time. I wasn't about going to get teased along so I just played it pretty cool.

This last Friday she calls me up telling me she wants to hang out. So, we have a casual dinner and drinks afterward. During dinner it comes up that her bf broke-up with her earlier in the week. I ask how she's handling it, but I made sure I wasn't her therapist/shoulder to cry on. I could tell that the break-up was rough on her though. Generally, the convo was light, and we both had a great time. When we left she said that I should call her to go to a baseball game that I had mentioned that I was thinking about going to later this week.

Basically, I trying to figure out if she views me as a friend that could help her through this break -up, or if she thinks I'm someone she wants to move onto after the break-up. I'm not pushing anything, just giving her time right now. I do really like being with her and would be interested in seeing what happens when her issues are resolved. I'm just don't want to fall into the LJBF zone before that. What do you think.

 

[BGMan]

You don't want to be the "rebound guy", do you? It takes a while for girls to get over their boyfriends and be used to being single again. Let some other AFC be her "rebound guy".

In this case, get her number, and then ignore her for the next month or two. Call her in, say, July, and ask her out. Don't worry about her "forgetting" you... many guys are afraid of that, and it's total b.s. She won't forget you, if she likes you.

BGMan

 

[sduw]

Yeah that's good advice. I'm definately in no rush. I'm actually planning on asking this girl at my internship out this week. I'm just trying to figure out where she's coming from.

 

[Cremasta]

Good call BGMan,

The only thing I would do different is not ignore her totally for a month or two, though I would only see her a couple of times in that period. I'd definitely NOT have 'dinner and drinks'... too much opportunity for her to initiate a deep and meaningful conversation.

The baseball game would be good, or anything where you are going to be doing something active. Ice skating, surfkatting, anything, you don't even have to be good at it. Be fun to be around, but not often.

 

[tamales]

Gree with BGMan. In fact, I say that she is just looking for attention and that somehow when you were in the group talking you came off a little AFC to her, she could sense your interest and said. hey, he can help me get my mind off bf.. Trust, me stay away from her now. SHe is still thinking about her x and hurting and any guy that comes along now.. will be used..

PLus, it seemed she was the one controlling the flow.. taking the lead.. It should be the other way around..

Call when school is back in session or whatver.. I say Aug. at least. Be friendly, when you see her but don't get too friendly as to be put in the LJBF category. Once you are in that category it's too late and women typically, won't give you another shot.

Good luck.

 

[sduw]

The thing is we are in a relatively small (37) graduate school class, so I will see her everyday this summer starting in June. So staying away from her is pretty difficult, and we also hang out with people from class a lot, too. She also knows me pretty well from being in a close class. Just some additional things to think about

 

[JJMcLure]

She is in a state of feeling like she needs her desirability as a chick reinforced. I.e. needs to get some off another guy to prove she still has it and her BF was wrong to split with her.

Fvck her while you have the chance. You could certainly be the rebound guy it's true, but does that matter to you?

She will have hooked up with a new BF within say a month anyway. Chicks don't stay single for long.

Don't become her gay friend who goes on "dates" with her but doesn't get physical. She will put you in the non-sexual relationship box if nothing happens on all of your encounters.

If you don't give her what she needs and she finds another guy to focus on, it will be like you never existed. As she is clearly showing her interest, there is a fair chance she will take it as a rejection by you and chicks can turn pretty mean after that.

Be a man and take the lead. Go after what you want and kiss her on the lips next time you hang out. This will show your interest and test hers.

 

[Pepe Le Pew]

You know what's a great book to help explain why women LJBF's......is Passive Man's Guide to Seduction.....it has a chapter on Slumber Parties and how not to be an expert on them....GET IT?