"Try (or always) leave a girl better off than when you first met her."

[cervantesscthree]

Tyler Durden said that (I read it in a post from somewhere years ago) it's made me think, is it even possible to leave a girl, FB or GF, better off than when you first met her?

I just can't see how you can stop seeing a chick on a positive note, especially a GF or an old FB. Would appreciate ppls thoughts on this, even more if someone's managed to quit seeing someone without the tears or bitterness...

 

[iamnobody]

You dump a chick. You cannot leave her better off than when you first met her. If anything you lay just another brick in her wall.
In my oppinion this is white knight syndrome mentality meant to cope with the guilt one could feel when he does something he knows it's going to hurt the girl. It's beta-ish.

 

[TheCWord]

I had a friend who did quite well for himself, and ended up seeing a girl for a few years in what eventually became a live-in situation. He broke up with her to move away and pursue some career aspirations on his own, but here's the thing...

When they first started dating, she was a waitress. Through spending years with him - an ambitious, talented, positive guy - she became inspired to chase her dreams as well. I don't think she was quite where she wanted to be career-wise when they split, but she was definitely in the industry she wanted to be in.

Further to that, she was living in a crappy town in a crappy apartment. Going out with my friend, she ended up moving to the big city where she made lots of friends. When they broke up, she moved into a condo on her own because the life he had shown her in the city was one she quite enjoyed.

This guy is probably the most alpha friend I have. He is an actor and you'd know the movies he was in - and if you looked at the parts he played, you'd see a big, tough S.O.B. And that's not acting - he's a masculine dude who always had hand in the relationship.

My friend didn't systematically destroy her self-worth so that she couldn't survive without him when they broke up. They had a decent relationship, where he always controlled the frame, and when it was no longer working out anymore they were both in good places, emotionally and financially, so they were able to cash in their chips and call those however many years a very worthwhile experience for both of them.

 

[cervantesscthree]

You dump a chick. You cannot leave her better off than when you first met her. If anything you lay just another brick in her wall.
In my oppinion this is white knight syndrome mentality meant to cope with the guilt one could feel when he does something he knows it's going to hurt the girl. It's beta-ish.

I had a friend who did quite well for himself, and ended up seeing a girl for a few years in what eventually became a live-in situation. He broke up with her to move away and pursue some career aspirations on his own, but here's the thing...

When they first started dating, she was a waitress. Through spending years with him - an ambitious, talented, positive guy - she became inspired to chase her dreams as well. I don't think she was quite where she wanted to be career-wise when they split, but she was definitely in the industry she wanted to be in.

Further to that, she was living in a crappy town in a crappy apartment. Going out with my friend, she ended up moving to the big city where she made lots of friends. When they broke up, she moved into a condo on her own because the life he had shown her in the city was one she quite enjoyed.

This guy is probably the most alpha friend I have. He is an actor and you'd know the movies he was in - and if you looked at the parts he played, you'd see a big, tough S.O.B. And that's not acting - he's a masculine dude who always had hand in the relationship.

My friend didn't systematically destroy her self-worth so that she couldn't survive without him when they broke up. They had a decent relationship, where he always controlled the frame, and when it was no longer working out anymore they were both in good places, emotionally and financially, so they were able to cash in their chips and call those however many years a very worthwhile experience for both of them.

I agree with both of you guys, especially the parts in bold, you can't end a relationship happily but at least if yr a smooth ass S.O.B, some of the good character will rub off onto her. :rockon:

 

[donking]

your friend is George Clooney?

 

[iamnobody]

hehee, are you friends with me, CWord?

 

[TheCWord]

Great actors, great examples of DJs, but think more Vin Diesel (but not Vin Diesel).

 

[Mr Wright]

Its bvll****, especially a degenerate like Tyler Durden. How are you going to leave her better than you found her? Marry her, get divorced and she gets half?!

If you're smashing a chick on a ONS, she is going to leave just how you found her but hopefully with some sort of limp. That's the best you can do.

Anything longer term will end up bitter in some way or another

 

[Zarky]

OP, I've never really understood that either. I try my best not to f*ck people over -- men or women -- but I don't feel it's my job to "make a woman's life better." She's an adult and can figure out what she needs in life.

If a girl puts out on date one, I do try to take her out again for a nice time even if I'm not really very interested in her. I don't "pump and dump." However, that's less about "leaving her better than I found her" and more about rewarding her in some small way for putting out quickly. If I pump and dump and make her feel like a slut, I believe she's less likely to put out for the next guy.

So taking her out and making her feel ok about the easy sex is my way of "passing the p*ssy forward" for the next guy. Hopefully she'll see that having sex early is not some terrible thing and so she'll be more likely to do it for the next guy as well. Whereas I ruthlessly punish women who don't put out, to hopefully achieve the same result.

 

[handle]

I have had no issues ending relationships on a positive note... Don't be a complete ****, it's not rocket science. Helps if you only enter long term relationships with women who have their shiet together.

 

[zekko]

Tyler Durden said that (I read it in a post from somewhere years ago) it's made me think, is it even possible to leave a girl, FB or GF, better off than when you first met her?

Maybe Tyler is talking about brief interactions, like talking to a girl at a club? Part of his whole "give value" philosophy. Add some fun to her life, and all that.

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

Nobody enjoys being dumped, but that's pretty obvious.

I think the point is, you're a respectable man of good character, it's possible to leave a woman without the ****storm many relationships end in.

If you're a genuinely nice guy, you didn't do anything to harm the relationship, but it's just not working out and you explain this to the girl, chances are she'll agree and accept it but be upset, or be upset, disagree, but ultimately appreciate your honesty.

Nobody likes being strung along waiting for the other party to end it, so even if you upset the person at the time, she will ultimately realize what you did was kind.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Nobody enjoys being dumped, but that's pretty obvious.

I think the point is, you're a respectable man of good character, it's possible to leave a woman without the ****storm many relationships end in.

If you're a genuinely nice guy, you didn't do anything to harm the relationship, but it's just not working out and you explain this to the girl, chances are she'll agree and accept it but be upset, or be upset, disagree, but ultimately appreciate your honesty.

Nobody likes being strung along waiting for the other party to end it, so even if you upset the person at the time, she will ultimately realize what you did was kind.

I think you summed it up here....Mr. Nice Guy....strange how you did that.

OP, are you making references to "The Game"? If so, wasn't it Ross Jeffries who said that?

As long as the chick isn't bat $hit crazy, this isn't too difficult of a feat. If the relationship is nearing it's end, just let it fade away. Blow her out when she needs it, teach her a thing or two about how to please a guy....and the ways of the world. When you two are done, set the bird free.

She'll always remember you with a smile on her face

Not saying I accomplish this feat all the time, but I get it done every once in a while :yes:

 

[Cremasta]

Nope. This is just psychobabble that people like Dr Phil say to sound philosophical.
Whether a girl is better off after you break up is entirely up to her and where her head is at.

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

I think you summed it up here....Mr. Nice Guy....strange how you did that.

OP, are you making references to "The Game"? If so, wasn't it Ross Jeffries who said that?

As long as the chick isn't bat $hit crazy, this isn't too difficult of a feat. If the relationship is nearing it's end, just let it fade away. Blow her out when she needs it, teach her a thing or two about how to please a guy....and the ways of the world. When you two are done, set the bird free.

She'll always remember you with a smile on her face

Not saying I accomplish this feat all the time, but I get it done every once in a while :yes:

Thanks, I've always been the nice guy, but in high school displayed many AFC ways, now I feel I've perfected my game and abilities but still try to be the nice guy.

Unless one person in the relationship finds another person, cheats, or something of that magnitude, the end of a relationship can typically be felt by both parties, in my opinion.

 

[Bible_Belt]

is it even possible to leave a girl, FB or GF, better off than when you first met her?

Of course it is. I like to think that any ex of mine will always remember me, especially while having sex with her boring husband and trying to think of something that will make her cvm.

It's a basic principle of karma, or any religion, to at least try to leave all people you encounter better off than before you met them. It can be as simple as smiling and saying hello. Or trying not to be too much of a d!ck on an Internet forum.