Satan Psycho
Don Juan
True Story of Oneitis and Smothering Attraction
The most painful rejection I ever took was in my final months as an AFC, about 2 years ago. I was such an enormous AFC and I cringe as I remember my AFC mistakes. See if you can count them all. I’ve counted them myself as you’ll see. If you see any that I don’t have marked, please let me know. Thanks.
It was less than two months after 9/11. I walked into my dull, dreary deli job and there was a new girl. She happened to fit every ideal I have about girls and I quickly developed my final and most severe case of oneitis (1.). What set me up for a depression so deep that it nearly killed me was that it was obvious that she dug me too - big time.
All the signs were there. She would light up when I came into work. She would always gravitate toward me and attract my attention with flirtatious playfulness. She would constantly talk about her body and show it off in all kinds of ways, like lifting her shirt to show me her six-pack. She would find reasons to touch me too, like if she saw me scratching me back on the wall she instantly came up to scratch it. She had a BF but really seemed to avoid bringing him up. She would start sentences in the weirdest ways.
She was kind of a party girl and we had lots of adult convos about sex and stuff. One time her tongue ring came up. I asked why she would pierce her tongue and she asked, "Have you ever had a blow job from a girl with a tongue ring?" I could hardly control myself when she said that. (2. Missed Opportunity) I just said no and she went on to tell me how much her last BF loved it. This sent my oneitis into hyper-overdrive.
Then there was the day she was really pissed because her BF would not return her calls. I was ecstatic. I figured it was only a matter of minutes before she realized what a blessing in disguise that was. While she was standing there feeling sorry for her self I came up from behind and tapped her belly. She just walked away. I went to the back and finished my sloppy grunt work in the worst mood of my life. Why is it other guys get all the girls? WHY NEVER ME? Then she came back (3. she had to know I was frustrated the way I was slamming shyt around) and helped me finish up. I took this as a sign and my oneitis reached level red high alert. (4.)
A couple days later she told me she might be going to a new job (one of those bullshyt sales quasi-jobs). I thought Shyt, I’ve got to do something before she’s gone. We went to her car after work to show me something and afterward, she just stood there freezing and shivering next to her car, just looking into my eyes. I should have kissed her then but I chickened out. I just told her she better get in her car before she froze to death. (5. Beta)
In the next few days I thought about nothing but how my luck has finally changed and it was about time I was happy. (6. Unhealthy) I thought if I’m wrong about this, then I know even less than I thought about girls. To bad I didn’t check the Internet. In those days I had some kind of idea about challenge and that I should be busy/unavailable (I don't know how I figured that out) but then I would always wuss out at the end, killing all attraction. I actually believed my biggest problem to overcome was timidness, like when I chickened out at her car.
Then there was the day she told me she was in a hurry to get out of there because she had a date On the inside I was panicking. (7.) Then he called to cancel and I breathed a sigh of relief. After work, we went out to her car to share a J. She told me she met the guy at work. While she was working the register he had given her a note that said he was a shy single man with a kid and if she would ever go out with him blah blah... (pretty AFC but I guess it worked for him) I laughed that that was sleazy, giving her a note like that; she said she thought it was sweet. I offered to take her to do something since her date got canceled. She said it was late and she was tired. “But you were going to go out with him? Why not me?” (8. Needy) We went and played pool and had a great time. Actually, I think I was pretty money for an AFC.
When she drove me back to the car we sat there in her car and talked a while longer. She finally told me she needed to go home. (9. Stayed too long) I gathered up my balls and went in for the kiss. It was magical. She leaned her head back and accepted it.
Then something happened, of which the significance I did not understand in those days. She says, as soon as we finish, "But I want to take this slow". I said "Of course." (10. That comment is unacceptable) Then she hit me with the big one: "I consider you a friend." I said "Of course, that's great. So let's play pool again tomorrow night after my shift." (11. NEXT!) She agreed to meet me after work. Had I known then what I know now, I would not have been in such a great mood when I was driving home. The sad thing is I actually realized that every time in my life that I had ever been happy was from false hope which later led to disappointment.
The next night she didn't show. The day after that she did not show up for her shift, she had quit. I later found out she had started her new job, but the timing was suspicious. I never saw her again till she came in one night to get her paycheck. I went up to her and said I waited for her the other night (12. Anti-Challenge) and she said "Oh, I was stranded out of town blah blah." She went to talk to the boss and I was planning how I was going to chase her down and get her # before she got away forever, when she came up to me and asked if I needed her number. I could not figure this girl out and she was putting me through a roller coaster ride. I said, "Yes, I do need it" in my most dramatic AFC voice. (13.) She gave it to me and I was once again on top of the world.
I now did not work with her, but had her # along with every AFC misconception and a 0% success rate making dates via telephone. I tried not to call her too much. Just once a day, not quite every day. (14.) Can you guess what happened next? If you said Flake Fest 2001 then you guessed right. No returned calls. Always too ‘tired’ to do something. I was a little worried. (15. NEXT! NEXT!)
Then came the big fall. One night I finally managed to corner her in a Wal-Mart parking lot. (16.) She was friendly and warm and even giving me some Kino. All was going well until I went in to kiss her and she shook her head no. Ouch. I looked at her with my hurt puppy-dog eyes (17a.) and she said, “I told you I consider you a friend”. “And I’m seeing someone else.” This one crushed me. I was noticeably hurt. I didn’t know what to say so I just stood displaying my disappointment. It was so AFC it hurts me to remember it. So I just kept playing the sympathy card, showing how hurt I was and all. (17b.)She comes to me and holds her body against mine to console me. Hey, I’ve never had a chick be that considerate when blowing me off since then. LOL Anyway, I said, “You should dump that loser.” (Actually, I kind of like that one) She said, “No, he hasn’t done anything.” Hello. What have I done? I say to her “Well, I’ve got to go get to drinking now.” (18. Jesus Freakin’ Christ, who’s the prize here?) She replies, “Hey, it’s not that bad.” I said, “Yeah, you’re not the one being rejected here.” (19. Her loss, man was I AFC!) She tries to make me feel better with “I’ve been rejected plenty of times.” That’s a big help. The best you can do is only better than me. My heart goes out to you, you poor thing. She said I’d better call her again and if I didn’t she would call me. She never did. She’s the flakiest girl I’ve ever met.
So friends, there you have it. Sent her interest from 90% to 0. Nothing happened after that except a deep dark depression that lasted for months, and thoughts like: If I killed myself, would she ever even find out? No, she never would, so I should not do it. Going into work was hell. One day on the way in there were some old ladies crossing the parking lot in front of me and I sped up like I was going to run them over. I’ve never seen old ladies run so fast. I called her every now and then. I wanted to bump into her again so that I could show her how good of shape I had gotten in (for her) and work some of my newly acquired DJ skills on her. I just wanted a chance, but she lived on the other side of town and I never ran into her. I tried. I was reduced to a stalker. I drove around on her side of town and went to places I thought she’d be. Finally, I ran into to her at a car wash. She hid behind the vacuum pump acting like she was doing something in her car, for 20 minutes. It was at this point when I realized there was no future for us.
If only I had found this site 6 months earlier. Damn!!!
BTW, in case you’re wondering, no, I don’t have problems like this anymore. I’ve never allowed myself to get oneitis again, That’s for sure. It’s a process that you go through, like falling in love, and if you’re aware of it you can avoid it. But once you get it, it doesn’t go easily. For me, nearly two years later, that horrible, final case of oneitis has never fully gone away. It just kind of lingers, fading slowly.
The most painful rejection I ever took was in my final months as an AFC, about 2 years ago. I was such an enormous AFC and I cringe as I remember my AFC mistakes. See if you can count them all. I’ve counted them myself as you’ll see. If you see any that I don’t have marked, please let me know. Thanks.
It was less than two months after 9/11. I walked into my dull, dreary deli job and there was a new girl. She happened to fit every ideal I have about girls and I quickly developed my final and most severe case of oneitis (1.). What set me up for a depression so deep that it nearly killed me was that it was obvious that she dug me too - big time.
All the signs were there. She would light up when I came into work. She would always gravitate toward me and attract my attention with flirtatious playfulness. She would constantly talk about her body and show it off in all kinds of ways, like lifting her shirt to show me her six-pack. She would find reasons to touch me too, like if she saw me scratching me back on the wall she instantly came up to scratch it. She had a BF but really seemed to avoid bringing him up. She would start sentences in the weirdest ways.
She was kind of a party girl and we had lots of adult convos about sex and stuff. One time her tongue ring came up. I asked why she would pierce her tongue and she asked, "Have you ever had a blow job from a girl with a tongue ring?" I could hardly control myself when she said that. (2. Missed Opportunity) I just said no and she went on to tell me how much her last BF loved it. This sent my oneitis into hyper-overdrive.
Then there was the day she was really pissed because her BF would not return her calls. I was ecstatic. I figured it was only a matter of minutes before she realized what a blessing in disguise that was. While she was standing there feeling sorry for her self I came up from behind and tapped her belly. She just walked away. I went to the back and finished my sloppy grunt work in the worst mood of my life. Why is it other guys get all the girls? WHY NEVER ME? Then she came back (3. she had to know I was frustrated the way I was slamming shyt around) and helped me finish up. I took this as a sign and my oneitis reached level red high alert. (4.)
A couple days later she told me she might be going to a new job (one of those bullshyt sales quasi-jobs). I thought Shyt, I’ve got to do something before she’s gone. We went to her car after work to show me something and afterward, she just stood there freezing and shivering next to her car, just looking into my eyes. I should have kissed her then but I chickened out. I just told her she better get in her car before she froze to death. (5. Beta)
In the next few days I thought about nothing but how my luck has finally changed and it was about time I was happy. (6. Unhealthy) I thought if I’m wrong about this, then I know even less than I thought about girls. To bad I didn’t check the Internet. In those days I had some kind of idea about challenge and that I should be busy/unavailable (I don't know how I figured that out) but then I would always wuss out at the end, killing all attraction. I actually believed my biggest problem to overcome was timidness, like when I chickened out at her car.
Then there was the day she told me she was in a hurry to get out of there because she had a date
On the inside I was panicking. (7.) Then he called to cancel and I breathed a sigh of relief. After work, we went out to her car to share a J. She told me she met the guy at work. While she was working the register he had given her a note that said he was a shy single man with a kid and if she would ever go out with him blah blah... (pretty AFC but I guess it worked for him) I laughed that that was sleazy, giving her a note like that; she said she thought it was sweet. I offered to take her to do something since her date got canceled. She said it was late and she was tired. “But you were going to go out with him? Why not me?” (8. Needy) We went and played pool and had a great time. Actually, I think I was pretty money for an AFC.When she drove me back to the car we sat there in her car and talked a while longer. She finally told me she needed to go home. (9. Stayed too long) I gathered up my balls and went in for the kiss. It was magical. She leaned her head back and accepted it.
Then something happened, of which the significance I did not understand in those days. She says, as soon as we finish, "But I want to take this slow". I said "Of course." (10. That comment is unacceptable) Then she hit me with the big one: "I consider you a friend."
I said "Of course, that's great. So let's play pool again tomorrow night after my shift." (11. NEXT!) She agreed to meet me after work. Had I known then what I know now, I would not have been in such a great mood when I was driving home. The sad thing is I actually realized that every time in my life that I had ever been happy was from false hope which later led to disappointment.The next night she didn't show. The day after that she did not show up for her shift, she had quit. I later found out she had started her new job, but the timing was suspicious. I never saw her again till she came in one night to get her paycheck. I went up to her and said I waited for her the other night (12. Anti-Challenge) and she said "Oh, I was stranded out of town blah blah." She went to talk to the boss and I was planning how I was going to chase her down and get her # before she got away forever, when she came up to me and asked if I needed her number.
I could not figure this girl out and she was putting me through a roller coaster ride. I said, "Yes, I do need it" in my most dramatic AFC voice. (13.) She gave it to me and I was once again on top of the world.I now did not work with her, but had her # along with every AFC misconception and a 0% success rate making dates via telephone. I tried not to call her too much. Just once a day, not quite every day. (14.) Can you guess what happened next? If you said Flake Fest 2001 then you guessed right. No returned calls. Always too ‘tired’ to do something. I was a little worried. (15. NEXT! NEXT!)
Then came the big fall. One night I finally managed to corner her in a Wal-Mart parking lot. (16.) She was friendly and warm and even giving me some Kino. All was going well until I went in to kiss her and she shook her head no.
Ouch. I looked at her with my hurt puppy-dog eyes (17a.) and she said, “I told you I consider you a friend”. “And I’m seeing someone else.” This one crushed me. I was noticeably hurt. I didn’t know what to say so I just stood displaying my disappointment. It was so AFC it hurts me to remember it. So I just kept playing the sympathy card, showing how hurt I was and all. (17b.)She comes to me and holds her body against mine to console me. Hey, I’ve never had a chick be that considerate when blowing me off since then. LOL Anyway, I said, “You should dump that loser.” (Actually, I kind of like that one) She said, “No, he hasn’t done anything.” Hello. What have I done? I say to her “Well, I’ve got to go get to drinking now.” (18. Jesus Freakin’ Christ, who’s the prize here?) She replies, “Hey, it’s not that bad.” I said, “Yeah, you’re not the one being rejected here.” (19. Her loss, man was I AFC!) She tries to make me feel better with “I’ve been rejected plenty of times.” That’s a big help. The best you can do is only better than me. My heart goes out to you, you poor thing. She said I’d better call her again and if I didn’t she would call me. She never did. She’s the flakiest girl I’ve ever met.So friends, there you have it. Sent her interest from 90% to 0. Nothing happened after that except a deep dark depression that lasted for months, and thoughts like: If I killed myself, would she ever even find out? No, she never would, so I should not do it. Going into work was hell. One day on the way in there were some old ladies crossing the parking lot in front of me and I sped up like I was going to run them over. I’ve never seen old ladies run so fast. I called her every now and then. I wanted to bump into her again so that I could show her how good of shape I had gotten in (for her) and work some of my newly acquired DJ skills on her. I just wanted a chance, but she lived on the other side of town and I never ran into her. I tried. I was reduced to a stalker. I drove around on her side of town and went to places I thought she’d be. Finally, I ran into to her at a car wash. She hid behind the vacuum pump acting like she was doing something in her car, for 20 minutes. It was at this point when I realized there was no future for us.
If only I had found this site 6 months earlier. Damn!!!
BTW, in case you’re wondering, no, I don’t have problems like this anymore. I’ve never allowed myself to get oneitis again, That’s for sure. It’s a process that you go through, like falling in love, and if you’re aware of it you can avoid it. But once you get it, it doesn’t go easily. For me, nearly two years later, that horrible, final case of oneitis has never fully gone away. It just kind of lingers, fading slowly.
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