"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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troubles with dad? Please help! ASAP!!!

dhizzyballuh

Don Juan
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Well ok so i started to get my game up with girls, but the problem isnt me or girls any more...
its my dad
i have an absolutely terrible relationship with him at home, and i do what i can most of the time to avoid any contact with him. Whenever he talks to me he talks down to me like im retarded, and i have absolutely no freedom to do anything..Recently since my self improvement ive been gettin invited to parties and such on a weekly basis, whenever i ask my dad if i can go he just says no..at this point i just stopped asking
He claims its all because i have "terrible grades" which is complete BS...i have 1 A,3 B's, 1 C, and 1 D (69%) in Biology...so they are pretty average grades except for that one impossible class (teacher says he has a 40% failing rate) and my dad doesnt understand the concept that the class is challenging and i AM doin the best I CAN!
Besides the point i dont think 1 bad grade should give him complete control of my life... He took away my Ipod a few weeks back and now is threatening to take away my cell phone and laptop (both of which i got for christmas not from him) annddd he evenly said he would "make me" break up with my girlfriend?!?
"I can never talk to you" me
"well its hard to talk to you when you are such a kid all the time" him

WTF?!?!?!?!?!!! I AM F***CKINNGG 15!!!!?!?! THE F*CK DO YOU WANT?!?
i already have to wake up at 6 to walk the dog, prepare breakfast for me,him,and lil bro, and i prepare all our lunches, anddd i make all of our dinners
I do ALL of the chores around the house, lil bro dont do sh*t, and my dad does something every once in a while just so i cant say "I DO EVERYTHING?!?" to him

i honestly have thought of running away...I dont know what to do, i tried talking to him but whenever i try he just somehow turns it around to make me seem like the bad guy, than i just cant talk anymore because i cant think becuz im full of rage and hate.....And he is bigger and stronger than me, so i just cant overpower him..I honestly dont know what to do, and i cant take it anymore!!! I just wanna be done with him for good!

im usually i nice guy, i never get mad at ANYONE! i get all my rage out at football....The only person who actually makes me feel just that pure Hate and anger is my dad...Even when i got into a fight at school the whole time i was just evading trying to calm the guy down...SH*T!!! my dad is the only fu*king person who makes me feel like this
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Strelok

Master Don Juan
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Hard to give you any suggestion,If I were you I would just do my best to get bigger myself and learn how to fight.
That's actually the best way to get something without the need of hurt anyone,the ability of intimidating is probably the only things that bullies understand apart violence.
Your father is no different from a bully,actually even worse since you're his son.

Whatever is his problem,you have the right to live a good life and enjoy your teens.
So my suggestion is:

1)get bigger and stronger in order to have more weigh in those negotiation.
2)talk to some social service or whatever you can find,explain them about the psychological violence you have to withstand and maybe they can suggest you what to do.

Anyway in my experience the only thing bullies understand is their own medicine so use a stick if you have to but just don't let him do that.
Most of the time the treath of violence is effective enough by itself.
 

dhizzyballuh

Don Juan
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wow...he fuc*in went into my computer, logged onto my facebook, and deleted my account....
 

search1ng

Master Don Juan
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Look man, I know where you're coming from.

Had a controlling type father. As he got older this turned into the needy type (Calls 1-2x a day). I still however respect my old man for bringing me into this earth and providing me with food/shelter and the skills to succeed.

Look, at the end of the day he's done more for you then any other person out there. Minus your mother. Just adopt the mindset of you looking after him now. It's this subtle power play you'll feel eventually.

Going to the gym, getting physically stronger - this is all a necessity for LIFE. not something to intimidate your father with. When he SEES you have your sh1t together, he'll back off, if he doesn't it doesn't matter - as long as you have your priorities set straight you'll find what he or anyone else does/thinks is all very minor in regards to your life and the hopefully many years you have left.

If he's a psycho with massive drug problems and has been in and out of prison and beats you, abuses you, mentally fcks with you. I'm sorry - move out asap and maybe initiate contact after you feel you can, 'be the better man.'

life's too short to hold grudges and feelings of bitter resentment.
 

I'm in the Mood

Master Don Juan
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search1ng said:
Had a controlling type father. As he got older this turned into the needy type (Calls 1-2x a day). I still however respect my old man for bringing me into this earth and providing me with food/shelter and the skills to succeed.

Look, at the end of the day he's done more for you then any other person out there. Minus your mother. Just adopt the mindset of you looking after him now. It's this subtle power play you'll feel eventually.
+1

we all need to learn to respect our parents, as well as other people, the way we wish to be respected ourselves. Don't let that type of petty reasoning get in the way of family and love.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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P­ornography

Don Juan
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search1ng said:
Look man, I know where you're coming from.

Had a controlling type father. As he got older this turned into the needy type (Calls 1-2x a day). I still however respect my old man for bringing me into this earth and providing me with food/shelter and the skills to succeed.

Look, at the end of the day he's done more for you then any other person out there. Minus your mother. Just adopt the mindset of you looking after him now. It's this subtle power play you'll feel eventually.

Going to the gym, getting physically stronger - this is all a necessity for LIFE. not something to intimidate your father with. When he SEES you have your sh1t together, he'll back off, if he doesn't it doesn't matter - as long as you have your priorities set straight you'll find what he or anyone else does/thinks is all very minor in regards to your life and the hopefully many years you have left.

If he's a psycho with massive drug problems and has been in and out of prison and beats you, abuses you, mentally fcks with you. I'm sorry - move out asap and maybe initiate contact after you feel you can, 'be the better man.'

life's too short to hold grudges and feelings of bitter resentment.
+ 1

It might sound corny and lame, but you need to make peace with the person.
 
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