Trouble with a feminine dandy

[FloridaDnB]

I live on the beautiful Florida coast in an amazing new place on the ocean with several other roommates. The house is sick and is a complete chick magnet, and I have been extremely successful (more so than ever before in my life) in this new place with women. We have sickparties and people are always over, and I am meeting tons of new people, girls and guys alike... but one of our roommates has a best friend friend who is a feminine dandy.

Before I continue, the term feminine dandy is from the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. I'm sure most people know about the book but I want to read the book Bang by RooshV first. Anyways I'm only halfway through the first section (personality types) but I have instantly recognized that he is a feminine dandy. He's a latino dancer, extremely loud and energetic, romantic in a weird way, and the type who comes off as gay to all of the girls, then does a phase shift into aggressive touchy-feely once he gets them close. He is always very energetic, loud, and annoying, but sometimes funny.

He doesn't even live at the house, but he is always around, and there is no way I will be able to get rid of him. Sometimes he will even lie and say he lives at our house (it is a sick ass mansion) to better his success. He is a manipulator.

Any time girls come over with guys or not, he instantly pounces on them when he knows they are single, which is fine by me. But when the girl starts giving major indicators of disinterest, he will always persist anyways. He either is in denial from being so ****y, or he is completely incapable of reading signals from girls. I believe, If you had your chance and the girl's not feeling you, then you should move on to the next girl, and give a moment to let your friends have at it.

I will usually meet a girl, and start to talk to her somewhere in the house during a party and get to know her. He will seek us out, and when I am talking to her he will loudly and obnoxiously interrupt the conversation in a loud voice, coming over and using a situational opener or some other line, and will come right over when I am talking to her and put her arm around her or something along those lines. He has done this three times already to me.

One time I flipped out at him in front of everyone, calling him out on it, and it didn't really get me anywhere. It seemed like he felt awkward because I did a good job, but he is shameless and will not change his behavior. Then, when we were in private a few minutes later in the other room, he tried to bro-handshake me and tried to act like we were super cool and everything, trying to disarm me.

I find it lowly to compete in an obvious way in front of a woman, like we are fighting over her, and it is not my style. I feel stupid and awkward doing so. I usually just withdraw and let the girl come back to me, and play it cold. However, he does this to all girls who I talk to, like an attention ***** who is greedy.

I feel that soon I will snap and punch him out, but that will only ruin several relationships in my life that I do not want to ruin. He is the best friend of the guy who owns the house, and If I knock his ass out then I will probably get kicked out of this awesome living situation I am in since he was friends with the owner far before I was.

At the same time, I feel grateful for this opportunity so that I can learn to adapt and grow and be able to deal with people like this in the future...

Any suggestions as to what I should do?

 

[GhostWriter]

I had a friend like this. He has what is known as attention seeking disorder. He'll use every and any opportunity to garnish attention, even if the situation is a somber one.

The best thing to do is ignore him and act like he's not even there. If the girl is into you then she would do the same. After he leaves to find someone else that'll give him attention, you two can talk about what a fag this guy is.

Deprive him of attention.

 

[mahoney]

the main problem you have with this dude is that you just find him annoying and irritating but also inescapable (you also think "i can see thru him, why can't everyone else", right?)

From time to time there will be people like this in our lives (not necessarily his personality type - just people that we cannot deal with)

you can't do anything about him, and you can't change his behavior (its not your place to, plus any attempts to reason will put you in a weaker position), you're just going to have to kind of come to terms with him - i think the best position is to give as little away as possible about how you feel, kind of be an unknown quantity about it

obv this is kind of hard now as you have played your hand a bit by losing your cool with him, but just act like that never happened

 

[FloridaDnB]

the main problem you have with this dude is that you just find him annoying and irritating but also inescapable (you also think "i can see thru him, why can't everyone else", right?)

From time to time there will be people like this in our lives (not necessarily his personality type - just people that we cannot deal with)

you can't do anything about him, and you can't change his behavior (its not your place to, plus any attempts to reason will put you in a weaker position), you're just going to have to kind of come to terms with him - i think the best position is to give as little away as possible about how you feel, kind of be an unknown quantity about it

obv this is kind of hard now as you have played your hand a bit by losing your cool with him, but just act like that never happened

I don't care to change his personality, as you are right and I have no place in trying to do so. However, I'm not going to sit back and let him **** block me like this time and time again. I have to put my foot down somewhere.

I think next time, when I'm having a conversation with a girl and he comes up yapping and puts his arm around her trying to lead her away, I'm gonna say:

"DUDE, can you see I'm having a conversation here? Stop being such an attention *****!"

Something along those lines. I'll only do it if I pick up major IOD's from the girl. If he counters with some snappy dialog and the girl resists him, I think that will be enough to stop him from patronizing me in the future.

 

[mahoney]

what do the other dudes that live in the house think? and what do they do? does he block only you? or everyone? if only you what do the others think or say about it? if everyone why is no on else putting their foot down?

because if you put your foot down in front of everyone, but you are the only one that does this, then it means you are the only person that has a problem with it (this was the impression i had from your original post). if the other dudes all have a problem with his behavior then the above is fine as it is dudes problem not yours, but if its only you - then its you that has the problem not the dude, and your behavior should change accordingly or it is you that will be thought weird by everyone else