trouble thats the one word, need help bad

[ima str8 up pimp]

I know that I should just solve this problem straight up with my girl but she isnt even available, shes at the beach.

But here it goes, as much as we say we love eachother I have a gut feeling that something is wrong, I just absolutely love her to the point where I'd hurt her feelings (get her whipped like crazy) to stay with me. Here are two reasons.

1. I have a gut feeling and I cant say I get these everyday.
2. She showed me some subtle signs of not caring enough for me.

Here's the deal though on the plus side, I got her whipped badly enough to where she wanted to hurt herself from fear of losing me and me saying things. (okay well that sounded really bad, I didnt intend for that AT ALL).
She says she really really cares and it makes me feel amazing, and its like there is a real true connection we both feel.

I dont want to resort to hurting her anymore tho.

Keep in mind that I've been known to b extremely paranoid and violent at times, Im on medication for it.

I've had 3 **** buddies (one including her) and a girl that used me for sex 2 of which she found out about, so that may b a reason she flirted with another guy (the subtle sign), but Im so paranoid and violent that Id beat the **** outve this guy, I want us to b together for a very long time.

I know it would take a guy that can really see the bigger picture to solve this bc I already consider myself good at this ****, so thank you for ne suggestion in adavance.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

I will say this, you have great gut instincts, something is really wrong. Oh, and yes, you do need help really bad.

It is sad that the only way you can keep a lover is by creating a fear in her. Most men can keep a relationship thriving with communication, attraction, interests, sex and so forth. I have to wonder is fear all you think you have to offer? Is fear all you want from a woman to offer you?

I see the reason for your paranoia and anger issues, you create them too.

Not to fuel your fire, but she is probably locked down with some pretty boy, rolling in the sand right now and all he had to do was offer her a little tenderness.

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

Wow that was an amazing response and all truth.

You must understand on another note that I'm terrified of losing her, I love her. I never ment for her to hurt herself I love her so badly it hurts me, I tried to break my ankle after I found out, only so I could show her that I care for her and Im the perfect man for her as she says herself, but only ended up hurting the back of my knee (tendon) so badly I puked.

We found a way for us to be happy, and that was to confront our insecurities and me remain calm and loving with her. I still just had a gut feeling and I know that something isnt right till now, her friend tells me that if Nina doesnt feel comfortable with telling me herself she wont say anything, how do you think that left me feeling?

Knowing what you know, youre marraige must be amazing. Listen, I'm not dumb, I know what it takes for the relationship to work. Im just terrified of losing my baby.

Trust me as long as I am the perfect man for her and she knows it then Ill give it all I have. I can guarantee theres another guy. But what excuse do I have I ****ed the **** outve another girl only a few days ago. We'll get this figured out for dear life my will is incredibly strong and we have a connection like no other in the end.

Any other thoughts please go right ahead, Bad Lil Pixie the first time I saw you making posts I had no respect for you, and Im sorry that you had to prove yourself but I can see you as being vital to alot of people here thanks.

 

[Phyzzle]

Your girl's backing off. The only thing you can do is back off, too.

Don't charge ahead and tell her to be monagamous. If she wants it, she'll ask you.

I'm terrified of losing her

That's the last thing you should be telling her! In fact, you've gotta fix that. Christ, even if you end up married, she could be hit by a car and killed. Don't need anyone so badly.

I tried to break my ankle after I found out, only so I could show her that I care for her

Whoah! Are you guys one of those couples who scream at eachother and break up every weekend? You need a bunch of wild drama to keep the "emotional rollercoater" going?

I know what you mean. I remeber my buddy calling me at 3 in the morning to ask me if a firecracker was a type of firework. He and his girlfriend argued all night and broke up (again) over this fight.

After a while, he got tired of the arguments, and started smoothing things over instead of blowing up.

So she started banging some abusive drug dealer and my friend got dumped.

If your girl needs all this drama to stay interested, she's not as special as you think.

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

Well to better explain it all, yea we're sort of the one of couples you mentioned, I told her no more drama only a few days ago, thats lil kid ****. And it's (the drama) on a subtle note, like classy, not always lol but its not like what you mentioned. Like I said, ahhh yea we have that kinda relationship and I dont want that I want to just b with her and love her, we just always have this tendency to come back to eachother in tears basically, so I know **** will turn out for the best I guess. But it just seems that every fight, everything that happens gets worse everytime, like the "rebound back" so to speak, gets more dramatic.

Overall Im guessing that we really need good advice, bc its like she has something I lack, love, and I have something she lacks, a very strong will and outlook on life. And we both have a, well I dont kno how to describe it, but something is just very "the same" about us.

Well c..........
mayb it'll b time to let go, and find someone else, the words are hard to say why, but my intentions would b right.