"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Trouble initiating conversation

Magnatolia

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 12, 2005
Messages
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43
Location
Brisbane, Australia
Hi,

I have trouble initiating a conversation with an attractive woman (actually I can't at all). Or even smiling at her.

Usually I end up just staring. I originally thought it was due to something that happened to me during primary school which shot my self-esteem. I've tried hypnosis and all of that stuff, but to no avail.

I now believe the problem is that I am afraid of not being able to converse with the woman. You know have a decent conversation.

The closest I have come to straight-out asking someone on a date was a colleague who I don't actually work with. We're on the same team but in different area's. I sent her an email asking if she'd like to go to lunch on a particular weekend (she said no because she was going to her partners parents place) but we started emailing each other and have become quite friendly. We were originally emailing each other on a one or two daily basis for a week, now every few days. But this is the first time I've actually had a really decent personal-type conversation/email. We had a meeting together (generally see her a couple of times a year) and I was completely at ease which is a complete first.

Anyway, after doing all this hypnosis and stuff I have smiled at a couple of women in the last couple of weeks. Nowhere near where I want to be though.

I have two questions. One: How do you actually get a women's attention without making it obvious? Basically I feel that I would gain a lot of confidence if I smiled at a lot of woman without actually initiating a conversation. Two: What recommendations do you have for getting over this fear? I've tried simply ignoring the fear but this doesn't work.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bill

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 15, 2003
Messages
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Location
Ottawa
You need to practice those people skills. Read the Bible articles on conversation and attraction, especially.

Mostly, get some confidence.

-Bill
 
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