Trouble expressing myself

[Prodoge]

Somehow I feel like I don't always bring over the message I intend to. In other words, I might say something joking but the person i am talking tonthinks i am serious. I guess the problem is in facial espression and voice intonation.

Another problem is when talking to girls i am actually interested in I get impression they don't get the message and think i am just being friendly and not thinking of them romantically. In this case i don't know what to do differently though.

Because of this i have missed many opportunities...

 

[dustmuffin]

With the women are you applying kino? Kino lets them know that you are in it for sex.

 

[Prodoge]

With the women are you applying kino? Kino lets them know that you are in it for sex.

Not all the time, I feel like i need to get to know the girl a bit before starting kino or it would be awkward. And that is when usually I fyck up not getting further than small talk.

 

[ThePasses]

When you're doing that sarcastic, straight faced, dry humor stuff with people that don't know you, you seriously have to say, "I'm just f***ing with you" or "I'm joking" afterwards and smile or laugh. People that aren't familiar with you or that type of humor tend to not get it (and still don't find it funny if they do) and will be uncomfortable. I understand though, that's half the fun. I do it all the time to people and know that they are uneasy and I keep it going for a bit. But seriously, sometimes it can make you fall out of favor with people that would otherwise be in your corner and it takes a while to make them come around because their guard will be up when they're in your presence.

And if you are blunt and bold enough to continually offend/shock people in the pursuit of humor, even though the 'offending' isn't always your goal, I don't think your message delivery is the problem with girls. I think the actual message is the problem. I'm guessing you are being overly cautious when around them and not being yourself which leads to co-signing and OKaying every thing they say which is something that a Friend (bad friend) would do. If this is the case, don't be as worried about rocking the boat and stop going along with what any woman says just to keep your chances alive.

 

[Prodoge]

And if you are blunt and bold enough to continually offend/shock people in the pursuit of humor, even though the 'offending' isn't always your goal, I don't think your message delivery is the problem with girls. I think the actual message is the problem. I'm guessing you are being overly cautious when around them and not being yourself which leads to co-signing and OKaying every thing they say which is something that a Friend (bad friend) would do. If this is the case, don't be as worried about rocking the boat and stop going along with what any woman says just to keep your chances alive.

That seems about right. I also find myself in situations when I don't talk naturally but think of what inam going to say. And often that results in blanks or awkward unnatural conversation.

I have practised asking questions and navigating around that subject letting the girl do most of the talking, however i don't reallu rock the boat doing that...

 

[Dingo]

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt ".... Mark Twain

This is one of the reasons I like texting... You can order organize thoughts before hand... strategize how the convo will go. But as most of you know you can still **** it up... lol

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Another problem is when talking to girls i am actually interested in I get impression they don't get the message and think i am just being friendly and not thinking of them romantically. In this case i don't know what to do differently though.

Self expression is a skill, and like all other skills, it takes practice, trial and error. I'd recommend going to toastmasters or something where you can flail around and experiment without worrying about the outcome.

Also consider that half the chicks you talk to are idiots/floozies/not-worth-your-time and just consider them PRACTICE.

Read "how win friends and influence people" and play around with some of the techniques.

Remember the wise words of Dale Carnegie:

"The only way you'll know how far you can go is it to occasionally go too far..."

So push yourself and make a bunch of mistakes with floozies you'll never see again.

 

[dustmuffin]

Not all the time, I feel like i need to get to know the girl a bit before starting kino or it would be awkward. And that is when usually I fyck up not getting further than small talk.

You don't need to get to know them. Just do it. On first dates I start kinoing the hell out of them from the start. You need to get over that feeling of awkwardness and just do it. The worst thing that can happen is that they tell you to stop.....You stop for a bit and then start again.