Tried to Cut My Losses by Cancelling First

[TheSlasher]

So there's this chick, I've sort of beta backslide by calling her several times via Facebook to talk about the date. One call was answered, but it was choppy or something, the point is there is literally no exchange to that one answered call.

I've tried calling several times more, but only rings were there. Maybe it's because it was 12:00am already, but who knows? This is when I started to have a bad feeling and just messaged her that I can't make it because I have something important to go to.

Do you think this is the right course of action or should I have done something else? Why or why not?

 

[spiegel549]

So there's this chick, I've sort of beta backslide by calling her several times via Facebook to talk about the date. One call was answered, but it was choppy or something, the point is there is literally no exchange to that one answered call.

I've tried calling several times more, but only rings were there. Maybe it's because it was 12:00am already, but who knows? This is when I started to have a bad feeling and just messaged her that I can't make it because I have something important to go to.

Do you think this is the right course of action or should I have done something else? Why or why not?

Bro....if I was the girl and you called me MULTIPLE times in a row at 12am I would run very very far away from you...

Seriously why are you calling so many times in a row? If you called her ONCE and you lost connection/service send her a simple text saying "hey seems like one of us had bad service, lets talk tomorrow." and that is it. LEAVE HER ALONE.

She obviously knows the phone service was choppy. If she wanted to she would call you back. Let her reach out to you now.

Canceling because you don't have any patience is not the way to go bro. You should of just let it play out instead of calling a ton and then canceling like some looney toon :crazy:

I am giving you tough blunt advice. I am not ripping into you. Sometimes it is needed to hear it straight up.

Leave it alone and see if she contacts you. Future reference you call a girl and you lose service you can either call back once more or send a text saying that your service is crappy and to talk later. DO NOT call multiple times. If she wants to contact you back she will make the effort.

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

So there's this chick, I've sort of beta backslide by calling her several times via Facebook to talk about the date. One call was answered, but it was choppy or something, the point is there is literally no exchange to that one answered call.

I've tried calling several times more, but only rings were there. Maybe it's because it was 12:00am already, but who knows? This is when I started to have a bad feeling and just messaged her that I can't make it because I have something important to go to.

Do you think this is the right course of action or should I have done something else? Why or why not?

Let me guess: she never responded when you cancelled the date.

She was probably ready to cancel or no-show after you called her so much. Looks like you already know what you did wrong, so I'd just learn from it and wait until you bump into again.

Say you even did end up going on the date: do you honestly believe you're in the mindset with her perform the 1st date correctly? I have to assume not, so that's probably for the best.

I would say after the choppy call, you should have waited for her to respond. If she didn't say anything the day of the date, text her "we still on tonight", or something to that effect. Your patience and self control would probably have been noticed by her in a positive light.

 

[narcissist]

Way to invested. This is producing blunders in your game.

You need to channel your inner abundance mindset, and realize that one girl is futile.

Like who literally cancels a date because they think the girl will cancel first. That is a purely egoistic move marked by deep rooted insecurity.

You got a lot of work to do my friend. PM me if you have questions or need advice.

 

[BeDJ]

Be TheSlasher
Chattin' up hottie from FB
Set up the date
Gonna smash dat azz
Call to confirm date 5 times
No Answer
Remember SoSuave bros
Princess is in another castle
Leave message to cancel date
Drink my NesQuik
My face when Alpha as fvck.

http://imgur.com/Os5meVW

 

[goldengoose]

Don't talk about possible dates on facebook. Always keep that for on the phone. Quit calling so much and never at 12:00 am. She should be the one calling you if she is interested. She wasn't interested anyway so it doesn't matter if you cancelled or not.

 

[lastking]

You did the right thing. Although you acted desperate at first, you turned the tables around but cancelling. Consider it a loss though

 

[TheSlasher]

You know what, guys? You were all correct. I already knew what to do in the first place. I honestly just lost it and tried to give it a call. I actually feel bad about it because I lost control of me. The loss of the date? Maybe. But it's really more about my poor performance. I really have a lot of work to do on my ego. *sigh*

 

[TheSlasher]

Also, if I may add, I thought it was a nice bet to cancel the date rather than hope for tomorrow, because I have an important function to attend on friday (using FB, i can make it look like the event was on the day of the date rather than on friday, i just happened to update my profile a little late). What i was thinking back then is that, since I knew I already lost it, I can make it look like I was giving her several calls so that i can be sure that she knows of the cancellation. Thus, making it look like I was originally interested in cancelling the date, rather than confirming it, which in turn could possibly make it look like the neediness level is actually more on the 7 than on 10.

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

You know what, guys? You were all correct. I already knew what to do in the first place. I honestly just lost it and tried to give it a call. I actually feel bad about it because I lost control of me. The loss of the date? Maybe. But it's really more about my poor performance. I really have a lot of work to do on my ego. *sigh*

Well, live and learn. We all make mistakes. Important thing is just not to make them more than once - learn from them.

 

[Peterpack]

Reminds me of that scene from Swingers

 

[TheSlasher]

Reminds me of that scene from Swingers

The one where the guy two phone calls, one from the ex and one from the new girl?

 

[TheSlasher]

In my opinion it has NOTHING whatsoever to with performance. You just want to work on developing OPTIONS. It takes time and practice and discipline to build up a steady supply of plates.

When a guy has NO plates to spin and/or chooses to focus on one woman, he'll often manifest behaviors like yours. He will act "needy"--and nothing turns a woman off like neediness.

But when you have multiple women to pursue, inevitably, one or two of those women are going to respond favorably, and you'll discover that you don't have to HAVE to waste your time repeatedly calling the same chicks to get them to respond.

So go out there and meet women--all kinds in all places. This is how you develop options. And options leads to confidence.

I already have options and prospective options. In fact, I can go as far as to say that what I'm working on by this point is to not become elated on my successes, so that I could maximize not being affected by the ups and downs of living. However, the girl already agreed with the date and so my mind was set on that appointment.

 

[TheSlasher]

Ah gotcha.

In my opinion, then, I agree with narcissist's opinion. You have some deeply rooted insecurities (not trying to flame you).

One thing I have learned: just because a chick "agrees" to a date doesn't mean she'll actually show. I'm much better off assuming that things will fall through--especially when it comes to having my way with women.

Most guys who have options rarely act needy or jealous, etc. A guy who has 3 or 4 women to choose from normally won't care that much when one chick ignores him. He can simply shrug his shoulders and move on to the next one.

It's like the guy who invests ALL of his money in one stock. When he loses his money, he'll be despondent because he put all of his eggs in one basket. But the guy who DIVERSIFIES is going to feel OK if he loses a little in one particular stock. He'll simply realize his loss and move forward because he has plenty of money remaining in his other investments.

No problem with pointing out the insecurity; it is well intended. As for that, what do you think could that insecurity be? What should've been the mindset for all cases? But yeah, I get your point, I tried comparing it with the other plates and there is really a difference on the feeling inside. Anyway, back to the question, what could the insecurity be?

 

[nismo-4]

Let's face it, she cancelled on you first.

Women who are interested in you won't confuse you. She would've answered a text or a call from Brad Pitt. So what does that tell you? She had no interest in the first place, so she was actually happy you took the hint.

You can't next a girl you haven't f**ked. That's just her nexting you and you trying to save face.

 

[TheSlasher]

Let me ask you this: just because you "feel" differently about this chick, does it really matter?

Do you think constantly calling/texting/pursuing her is going to make any difference whatsoever?

Do you think you can change the way she thinks about you?

Well, I don't feel any different with the chick that much. Those things only start happening when the chick looks like they could be taken, but backs off or something. I know this might hint on something, but I don't know what exactly it was.

To be fair, I don't really constantly text her. The reason I only tried calling several times, was because it said on the interface that the phone call can't connect. So out of the 8 missed calls, I think only 3 of them made a ring. When the last one rung for quite a while, I decided to cancel the date, if there ever was one in the first place.

I don't think the problem really is what she thinks about me. The girl is always posting hopeless romantic stuff on fb, and how she wants to stay single and ****. Dunno.

 

[TheSlasher]

Bump. Need help in figuring out that insecurity.

 

[TheSlasher]

Whoa. I've reviewed this **** and realized it's kinda funny, but of course, I appreciate that I wanted to improve here back then. Haha. I would've have changed a thing if I were to go back at this time. Anyway, was just checking out this post and have already forgotten about this. Just funny and nostalgic to see where you came from and even feel a thing at all.

 

[mikey2012]

So there's this chick, I've sort of beta backslide by calling her several times via Facebook to talk about the date. One call was answered, but it was choppy or something, the point is there is literally no exchange to that one answered call.

I've tried calling several times more, but only rings were there. Maybe it's because it was 12:00am already, but who knows? This is when I started to have a bad feeling and just messaged her that I can't make it because I have something important to go to.

Do you think this is the right course of action or should I have done something else? Why or why not?

Dude she didnt give a fack about you cancelling? If you wanna cancel just dont show up. No need to tell her.