Tricky situation with girl who has bf- help from the more experienced

[ronniel]

She is 30 and she lives 1500 miles away. We started talking online and when she visited home (where i live) we met. Flirted with her a bit, and we kissed.
She said "I shouldn't have met you now. You are so charming". "What's the problem", i asked. She said that she has a bf. "How long have you been together?". "3 weeks she said". "That's nothing", i said. We kissed again and she was all over me.

We set up another date, 3 days after. She flaked. The other day she left. I played it cool, said something in the lines of "well, what not meant to be, is not meant to be".

She kept contacting me and i contacting her. She even mentioned that she will be back in late May, without me even asking her about it. The talks got a bit sexual. At the same time, i see her bf -online- having an AFC stance. She sends her songs, asking for her reassurance all the time etc. Me, i don't get emotional, i tease her, i push and pull. She called me an ******* sometimes, jokingly.

Once she said that "you can have any woman you want. if you just wanted to bed me, you wouldn't choose me". lol

Now, he is there. She sent me a message that she will not be online for 5 days because she expects him.

I don't now what i really want from the situation. I mean, she is intelligent, a hb 8 at least and a good talker. I know that i will probably bed her. Is it ok to expect more?

Maybe she is just using me to boost her ego. I don't know. Feel free to add your comments. Thanks!

 

[Robert28]

She is 30 and she lives 1500 miles away. We started talking online and when she visited home (where i live) we met. Flirted with her a bit, and we kissed.
She said "I shouldn't have met you now. You are so charming". "What's the problem", i asked. She said that she has a bf. "How long have you been together?". "3 weeks she said". "That's nothing", i said. We kissed again and she was all over me.

We set up another date, 3 days after. She flaked. The other day she left. I played it cool, said something in the lines of "well, what not meant to be, is not meant to be".

She kept contacting me and i contacting her. She even mentioned that she will be back in late May, without me even asking her about it. The talks got a bit sexual. At the same time, i see her bf -online- having an AFC stance. She sends her songs, asking for her reassurance all the time etc. Me, i don't get emotional, i tease her, i push and pull. She called me an ******* sometimes, jokingly.

Once she said that "you can have any woman you want. if you just wanted to bed me, you wouldn't choose me". lol

Now, he is there. She sent me a message that she will not be online for 5 days because she expects him.

I don't now what i really want from the situation. I mean, she is intelligent, a hb 8 at least and a good talker. I know that i will probably bed her. Is it ok to expect more?

Maybe she is just using me to boost her ego. I don't know. Feel free to add your comments. Thanks!

the iron was so hot it was white and you didn't strike. how you managed to NOT have sex with her is beyond my comprehension. she was visiting, her new boyfriend of 3 weeks was 1500 miles away, she was all over you. the only thing that didn't happen here was a little man didn't appear on your shoulder with a sign that said "bang her you idiot!!!!". i think you had your chance and missed out, she knows it too but she wont tell you that. that iron has since cooled down, nevermind all the sexual talk, its still a cold piece of iron. you only get one chance to live life....you just let this moment pass you on by. next time youll know to be more aggressive and go for it! i have yet to see a girl stop talking to a guy that "was too aggressive" but ive seen many stop talking to a guy BECAUSE he WASNT aggressive enough.

 

[ronniel]

So game over you say. Well, i thought of that too. Maybe everything after that night is just a little game she plays, while she focuses on him.

 

[ronniel]

On the other hand, she has already told me that she will come and she expects to see me. Don't you think that i will have another chance?

 

[d!ckmojo]

I don't know about that Robert28, pretty sure if I read the story right that she was the one who declined sex because she had a boyfriend. I don't think a chick will judge u for not fvcking her if she doesn't want to fcuk becoz she has a bf.

The OP is playing it perfect imo. Just don't get oneitis, because a girl 1500 miles away is only every going to be a peripheral plate.

 

[ronniel]

Well, d!ckmojo, at first that's how i interpreted her flake at the next date. I mean, she knew that she would have to give sex after the heavy kissing and touching the first night.

Anyway, she IS the kind of woman that you could have oneitis with. She is good at head games (very intelligent), a female dj you may say. She can become ****y and funny, she mirrors you sometimes etc.

I have constant sex from one plate right now (a much younger, 24 years old girl) and i flirt with 2 other women. I surely don't want to have oneitis with her.

On the other hand, sex is not what i'm after. Not just that. I want to seduce her totally, if you know what i mean. Heart and soul.
Maybe i see it as a challenge, i don't know.

 

[ronniel]

well, she surely knows how to play the game. i'm not sure about cluster b though. hope this is not the case.
i don't have problem with women who know how to play the game. They're a challenge. But a cluster b, is another totally dangerous story.

 

[Die Hard]

Eject... This situation will get out of hand and affect your wellbeing if you don't let go of it now.

 

[ronniel]

ok, well i decided to not inititiate any other contact and see if she tries to chase a bit more.
hope she's not a cluster b nutcase.

 

[ronniel]

update
She visited finally. Went for some drinks, had her at my place in a couple of hours. Good sex. Tried to have a "where are we heading" talk. I responded with a "anywhere that your bf is not present. i prefer just you". She laughed.

We had some good talks. She is gonna leave in a couple of days.

 

[Maximummax]

Good Job Brah

 

[ronniel]

Some details.
She was a bit nervous the first 10-15 minutes or so. I took the chance and i tried to diffuse the situation with: "I see that you are nervous. Don't worry, i WILL take you to my place this time. This is why we met, after all. Isn't it?".
She agreed and she became more relaxed.

I asked her about her flake and she said that she wanted to go out with me but it was a matter of morals (slut shield i suppose).
Well, all is good. She gets a bit sentimental but i don't mind. I will keep being a bit arrogant, polite, easygoing and not clingy.

I like her a lot, i don't lie. But this will be a good exercise of self- control for me

 

[Werman]

I want to seduce her totally, if you know what i mean. Heart and soul.

I see this a lot. I'm not sure what it means. Could you elaborate and explain what occurs when a woman is seduced "heart and soul," how you will be aware of it, and what you have to gain from it?