"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Tricked into buying drinks

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SoylentGreen

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Here's something everyone can learn from:

Went to a club about two weeks ago and started talking to these three girls. During our conversation, a girl asked me if I had ever tried a certain kind of shooter. Can't remember the name, but I think it might have been called a "liquid orgasm" or something.

So, I say: "no, never tried it."
She says: "well you should they are so good, lets get one"

We go the bar and I stand back while she orders two of them.
As I turn around to pick up my shooter the bartender looks at ME like: "where's my money?"

I say to the bartender: "Didn't she pay you?" by now the girl was turned away from us pretending not to be paying close attention
I look over at the girl and she's all like: "awww thanks hon"
I say: "thanks for what? you want ME to pay? I thought you had it covered"
She says: "I'll get the next one ok?"
Me: "ummm, sure" (trying to not lose my cool)

And she did get the next one, for HER and her FRIEND, not me. Then her friend got sick after her shot, and all three girls left...

I could've been more assertive. I wanted to say that I don't buy drinks for women, but I was also interested in the bartender and didn't want to look cheap in front of her, considering it was only $3.50 a shot. So, I paid for the shots. I have hated myself everyday since, lol. I totally got played, in my opinion.

So be careful out there in clubland. If a woman asks you if you have ever tried a certain drink, it just might be because she wants you to buy HER one...it's not necessarily that she really wants you to experience it with her. Tread carefully. Tell her to meet you "over there" once she gets the shots or something...don't walk up to a bar with a girl or everyone will assume YOU are paying.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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PeeGee

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That's very good advice - learning by reflecting

It's definitely something to watch for. I never buy drinks for girls at a club, and need to watch out for these sorts of inventive ways to get around my 'rule'.

A great way to avoid this from happening is to not be near the girl when she orders -- she can buy her own drink and you can buy your own. If she tries to pull it anyway, you didn't order the drinks, she grabbed one, and a girl who is trying to game you like that you aren't going to waste time on anyway (right?)
 
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Captain Harlock

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Just shouldn't have paid for it. You can't go paying for somebody elses drink if you don't want to. Then again it's not that big of a deal since it's only 3,50 but I can imagine you feel humiliated :D
 
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SoylentGreen

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Captain said:
You should have not paid for her drink. Since she was a deliberately trying to trick you, you shouldn't have paid for either drink, just smiled and walked off.
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Yeah, you are right. However, I didn't realize she tricked me into it until I was at the bar picking up my shot. What you are saying about smiling and walking away would've been the least tactful move in my opinion as I couldn't have been certain that she was "tricking me" until after.

Not ALL women are devious. My friend Debrah buys guys drinks all the time and sometimes expects that we buy her one. She is a genuine nice girl. If she was the one who had ordered the shots and then said she'd get the next one, I would believe her, and any guy hitting on her could SAFELY believe her if she said the same to him. They are not ALL conniving.

For the seven dollars it costed I wasn't about to lose any possible rapport I built and also, I was interested in the bartender like I mentioned.

But yeah, in the future I'll let HER go to the bar and bring the drinks back like PeeGee suggested.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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PerfectCircle

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Atleast your moving forward. WE ALL will make mistakes. But if it only cost you 3.50, you were able to laugh it off and learn from it. Then your fine.

Be proud that youve beat out the guys that never learn.
 
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nmartinez12443

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No biggie

Just do what I do. If a girl asks for a drink say okay, " I will get the first round (implying she will buy the next one)" go to the bar get yourself a beer and ask for a "cranberry" or "coke" which is usually free.

Return with your beer and give her the drink. Ideally this will be later in the evening when she is buzzed and won't notice or you can always cover with, "they make their drinks weak here". When they go to get another round cash in on your beer.
 
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Captain Harlock

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Cranberry or coke for free? Where do you live? Over here they're usually as expensive as beer. Most places probably don't even serve water for free.
 
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Chazz

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girl: i dont kiss on the first date
guy: i dont pay on the first date
 
Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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If it makes you feel better, I used to date a girl who would pull tricks like that with guys, and then take her free drink across the bar, give it to me, and then go find another guy to hustle.

So things could always be worse...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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pLaYtHiNg

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So, how was the shot?
 
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