"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Transitioning into an Existing Social Circle (if you are a male).....

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infinitism

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I know this is probably easier for girls, since it's pretty obvious that any society you go to allow girls to seem "vulnerable" and thus the guys& girls feel obligated to take them in. If you're a guy, it seems that the other males give you a warm welcome, but then after that you're kind of "on your own", and this is more severe when the group is considered even more tight-knit and clique-ish.

This is one of the reasons why I sometimes think that life would be easier being born as part of the female sex.... as long as you're not super dumb. You can sort of cling to the people in the social circle and they will think it's cute, and you won't end up looking like the creepy loner who's trying to fit in.

But I was wondering, from you guys' experiences, what would be the best way for a college-aged man (who's not a freshman, so unfortunately he doesn't have the excuse that he's new to the campus).... to find a niche as soon as he can in the circle? I'm also neither an extravert nor an introvert, but somewhere in between. All the girls&guys I know in this circle are just acquaintances, but it seems like they are really good friends with each other......
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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infinitism

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This isn't for gaming purposes. It's for finding a community to belong in and not having to feel lonely all the time. (and this group is probably the most similar to myself from all the groups I've observed so far).

Is it possible, and how likely is it, to become one of the "key figures" in this group, when most of them became friends since freshman year, and are now seniors? (I'm just a sophomore, and no other sophomore is there)
 
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Ease

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Sounds like your forcing it, where is your old friends and other unrelated friends?

Making friends is a funny thing.
 
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