Transition STR->LTR

[Charlie_aus]

Hi Folks,

I want to get from a STR with this girl to a LTR (well at least longer anyway).

I have got two problems:

1. I have over done the player thing and she thinks I am some kinda serial womaniser!!
2. I have been so C+F that now when I try to add some sincerity she thinks i am still joking.
3. She has been previously hurt.

She has also said that "its all just a bit fo fun" ie our "fling" or relationship. Not sure if this is true or just her defence mechanism - after all I KNOW she likes me.

Now I know this all sounds like trouble. But if I wanted to try to hook her for longer. Find out more about her.

I guess I see it this way:

I cant hurry things. Because she has been hurt she will run a mile if I push to hard. Take things slow?

I have to try and be more emotional with her,but obviously need to work on the sincerity.

I was gonna hit her up about the whole thing being a "bit of a laugh" and tell her that while I have no expectations, I am not in it just for a laugh???

If she fails that question then NEXT.

What do ya folks reckon?

-Charlie

 

[HeartlessBtch]

It's funny how this reminds me of a situation that I was in 8 months ago. My "fling" at that time fir every characteristic that you have described yourself as : a player and all the C+F things...the whole "this is a fling thin" seems to be just an excuse and coverup, she could be testing you and waiiting for you to say something lie "is that right?" (she just wants to know how you feel). I used to tell my "fling" all the time things like "this is strictly a b**ty call and if i start to get attached I'll walk away". Here I am 8 months latr still dating him and loving it. the key here is that you both have to feel the same way... so make sure you talk things over or hint out your interests... Good luck

 

[MidnightResistance]

STRs turn into LTRs from the amount of time you spend with a chick. Essentially nothing changes.

 

[Charlie_aus]

Thanks HeartlessBtch - I tend to think you might be right.

I might hint to her that I am not here as a play thing and that I want to get to know her better. That should let her know I aint just fvckin around. I might even tell her that while I know other girls, I am interested in her at the mo (or is that too needy?)

Last night for instance I get a text that I looked really sexy at some engagement we both had to go to.

So I think her LOI is up their, but she is playing games...and maybe trying to work me out!

I called her tonight - no answer. I know she will hit me up about what I wanted - I am just gonna tell her she should have answered if she wanted to know.

-Charlie