Transition from Standard Game to Close/Bedroom Game

[Apolo92Ohno]

I'm looking for tips here. I seem to run into the same situation more often than not. The basic situation:

Meet a girl out on a date or through friends. All is going extremely well. I am acting ****y and disinterested, she is obviously VERY attracted and is visibly (almost embarassingly for her in public) competing over other girls for my attention and affection. Have the girl cracking up, touching me, even grabbing my inner thighs, back, etc. when other people aren't looking.

Situation A (date): I tell the girl to jump in my car because we are going to meet my roommates (brought them up before so it was an easy transition). We get to my place, I keep it ****y, funny, casual, but then we get to the room and suddenly it is hard to act disinterested. Plant the first kiss and make out, the kiss is great, we start making out, tension is still high. Suddenly being in this situation makes her feel as if she has already won me over. I feel like I have to make moves to be the man, but a move seems to signify that they won and the tension must begin to fade for them. When I begin advancing my attempts are being blocked. Suddenly I am an emotional slut when she no longer sees my indifference or has to compete for my affection.

Situation B (with her friends): Finally pull the girl from her friends at bar, tension has been mounting all day (literally we went on a hike, then pregame, then bar, with her secretly rubbing me up and down and trying to win me over from her friends half the time), and begin making out. Kiss is the best feeling thing ever and you can feel the tension. We are moving from spot to spot at the bar making out. I say "let's get a cab." She says she needs to find her friends first. We move around the bar looking for them, every spot we go and can't find them we make out again, but I'm guessing the damage was already done at this point. Saying let's get a cab signified that she had finally won and I was becoming the emotional slut by wanting her. Eventually we found her friends and the tension just was gone. I tried distancing myself at that point, talking to other people, completely leaving her alone for an hour and she did not come looking for my attention.

So ANY advice on these situations would be great. Here are a couple questions:

Situation A: Do I attempt to keep making her laugh and acting indifferent until she throws herself at me? If I don't make a move, she may feel that I am a-sexual and she won't go for it herself.

Situation B: The make-out session totaled about an hour. Should I have made out with her for 10 min, then walked away from her? Never go for the cab? She continued initiating a lot of the making out when I would pull away. Honestly if my wingmen didn't completely **** up with her friends, and she didn't have to find them, we would have been fine. But I know there are DJs out there that can get the W in this situation even with her friends looking for her.

 

[zekko]

Situation A (date): I tell the girl to jump in my car because we are going to meet my roommates (brought them up before so it was an easy transition). We get to my place, I keep it ****y, funny, casual, but then we get to the room and suddenly it is hard to act disinterested. Plant the first kiss and make out, the kiss is great, we start making out, tension is still high. Suddenly being in this situation makes her feel as if she has already won me over. I feel like I have to make moves to be the man, but a move seems to signify that they won and the tension must begin to fade for them. When I begin advancing my attempts are being blocked. Suddenly I am an emotional slut when she no longer sees my indifference or has to compete for my affection.

Seems to me if you have her on the bed you have to make the move. What are you going to do, roll over and play XBox? You have to take charge in the bedroom, it's the man's job. Anyway, I don't agree that you are being an "emotional" slut by being sexual with her. Perhaps she senses that you are suddenly uncomfortable (worrying about her winning), and that's what driving down the tension.

Indifference has its place but it seems to me that if you have to rely so much on it to create attraction, how much attraction is really there? Or is it all smoke and mirrors? At some point you have to be willing to show her some interest, otherwise what is the point? The idea is for you BOTH to have a good time, right? There's nothing wrong with you both coming out ahead in the game. You should worry less about who is "winning" and just do what you want to do. There's nothing wrong with showing her interest, unless you get so hooked on her that you are too weak to ever withdraw it (get oneitis).

 

[Apolo92Ohno]

Thanks for the response. I think you may be right that my game may rely too much on showing that I don't care what happens at all. I tend to just pick out things about a girl and make fun of them relentlessly. And while they are laughing, and touching me, and trying to gain my affection, I guess I need to find a middle ground where I am showing affection of my own so we're making more progress towards the end goal? That way the affection when we start kissing or get into the bedroom isn't so abrupt.