"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Transforming from AFC to DJ: Do the females buy it?

AmIAFC

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I was wondering if there have been any successful cases/examples of former AFCs behaving like REAL MEN toward the females by whom they were formally whooped? For example, say you were the biggest AFC toward this one girl, only to finally become a Don, but does the chic buy into it like you're a completely new guy, or does she know you from your AFC days to ever be attracted to you, regardless of how much you've changed? Basically what I'm asking is, have any of you had success in "starting over" with a chic that, at one point, you completely AFC'd to?

I tried to do it with this one girl back in the day, and she claimed I was psycho, because I acted different around her (like a real man).

I don't know if this topic has been discussed here, but I'm sure we can cultivate a nice debate.

So what's the success rate of Don's for getting with a chic that had them acting like a chump at one point?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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backbreaker

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first of all, you probbaly wern't acting like a real man, you were probabyl acting... pysho, which it didn't work.

And it's not your fault, it's just the natural progression of things...

No one goes from Being an AFC to a DJ... you usually become more of a Jerk first.. you become the exact OPPOSITE of what you were.. the thing is, when you are an JERK, you are still just as far away from being a DJ, then when you are an AFC, because a DJ is the middle ground


Perfect example... I know a guy.. I think his name is john. I met him about 6 years ago, he used to be obsessed with this girl who I dated, and her friend, who I am ****ing now.

He was as AFC as aFC can get.. he was so afc, when I was still in HS, me and my GF at the time, would use his house to have sex in.. the girl he was so in love with.. That's AFC... She would call him, and have him pick her up to take her to see me... She gave me a BJ with him in the car one day... the guy is as AFC as it can get..

Anyway, one day, I think like a year ago, the girl I am seeing now, calls me and lets me know she ran into John out of town and decided to spend the night kicking it with him since they havn't seen each other in forever.

She said, "it's like he just extroverted himself".. all he talks about is all the girls he is having sex with and how much sex he gets and how cool he is, and he makes smartass remarks... I mean, he used to be a great guy, ,now he is just a jerk..

I knew right away what happened... the same thing that happens to everyone else.. she caught up with him probably a year too soon.


See, a girl can't possibly look at a DJ,and see an AFC or a Jerk.. it's not possible... My EX used to call me an *******, but that's a different story ;) (bascially when she couldn't get exactly what she wanted)

That's like saying I can look at a HB 9 now, that I knew when she was an HB 4, and still see the HB 4..

"naw man, my eyes aren't lying.. that's 9 material buddy"

Now, she MIght not want to date you, but it's definatly not because you are an AFC... As a DJ, you dno't put your hopes or success on "getting a girl" or "the girl" so just because you don't get her does't mean you aren't a DJ anyway.


I am currently sexing the girl that droove me to this forum.. we were friends since I was 13.. she always thought I was cute, even thought about dating me in the past, but until she saw me as a different person, or in her words "it's like I know a different person than I knew for 10 years" I had no chance...
 

Chillisauce

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Do some searches on Oneitis bro, alot of us have been there and there should be some advice you need.

The way that i escaped the chump zone was to cut her off completely for 6 months, in which time i put on some weight, dressed nicely and got a nice haircut and effectly completely changed from the old me. Then when i met up with her she was all over me but i realised i didnt really like this girl > the infactuation was all my mind.

hope that makes sense, been a big day.
 

AmIAFC

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I think both of you misunderstand me. It's not about one-it-is or whatever, but trying to force all the girls that once saw you as a chump into something else. It's not just one girl or even a handful of girls, but there are a dozen females with whom I messed up that I still see on a regular to semi-regular basis, and even though there are many other women out there that I can pursue, I wanted entertain the possibility of capturing one of these "failed projects" first. Hence the question: Is it possible for a girl (or girls) who once saw you as nothing but an AFC to see you as something more attractive using the techniques taught by the bible? To repeat, I'm not suffering from one-it-is or anything, I just want to know if anyone else has had any success with females who've once perceived you in a non-favorable light (AFC).
 

booga

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I tried to turn one chick around & it didn't work, but new women seem to be responding positively. I think you have to forget the women from your AFC days. Their first impression of you is already set in concrete. Practice yr new attitude on new women.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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flexion_

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Relationships with women are much like statues. When things fall apart you can put them together with some glue but they never are truly the same.

You can spend hours and hour trying to re-glue everything to get it close to perfect or just spend less time making a new statue.

If you truly are a DJ now then you won't care about what people think about you and the women you liked as an AFC won't be as attractive to you now as well.

For you to even post this thread smells of oneitis so thats why you are seeing those suggestions.
 

booga

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Yeah, +1 for what flexion_ said. Your new attitude isn't something you put on like a coat; it's the new you, 24/7. If some girls see this & come around, great, but I wouldn't count on it.
 
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