"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Tough situation guys...

Ken785

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I did walk away. I told her I was tired of all the lies, tired of her sneaking around with 2 guys thinking im ok with it.

I told her if she ever straightened up, the door is still open, but she cant have us both and i'll be the one to walk away.

She told me via text "Dont ever, ever contact me again. btw: Keep the door shut, no need to keep it open!!"

I texted back, "Ok ___. Not like you ever planned on it anyway. I'm sorry".


...So thats it guys. Thanks for the advice. Thanks for waking me up and making me take back my balls.

I wont ever be #2 on anybodys list again. If she wants me, it'll be me alone or nothing. She can have that other chump if she wants to call that her man.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Blue Phoenix

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To tell you the truth, who knows if she doesn´t have other guys on the string??

If you´re a "player" (for a lack of a better term) at least make it clear your in it just for the fun, not to pretend you´re dating while banging other people.

I´ve been in similar situation before, when I saw some kind of "triangulation" I said "you know what? He´s all yours, I´m done!". :kick:
 

pdx1138

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I had to go through it once as well.

I ended it and though it was a painful experience I absolutely know it was for the better.

Good decision Ken.
 

The_411

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The situation was tough for you because you are emotionally invested but anyone not involved it's a clear as day. This girl is a train wreck looking for more child support and doesn't seem to care who she gets it from.

Not being attached means walking away without the need to say anything and not being outcome dependent.

You even failed by texting her back after she said the door was closed etc. Why even bother?

You want to be an alpha she texts that mess you say nothing and forget about it. Why subjugate yourself by replying and letting her know that she got to you.
 

Ken785

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The_411 said:
The situation was tough for you because you are emotionally invested but anyone not involved it's a clear as day. This girl is a train wreck looking for more child support and doesn't seem to care who she gets it from.

Not being attached means walking away without the need to say anything and not being outcome dependent.

You even failed by texting her back after she said the door was closed etc. Why even bother?

You want to be an alpha she texts that mess you say nothing and forget about it. Why subjugate yourself by replying and letting her know that she got to you.
Thats not the case at all. Shes not the type to rob you for everything you have. She wouldnt do that to people. Shes actually very sweet besides sleeping with 2 guys...shes a really great girl.

I just think shes grown comfortable with him and he helps her out fixing stuff around the house and sharing things like cell phone and insurance policies, letting him put her house in his name so she can get aid for school and he can fix his credit and blah blah. They have a "partnership"....well, as long as she continues to sleep with him.

If she got a BF and told the chump she has feelings for someone else (like she did with me for 2 weeks)...he'll want to leave.

I guess she doesnt want to lose whatever benefits are associated with being with him....even if hes a needy guy (shes said that about him).
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Serialized3

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romangod said:
Personally, I don't agree with this. Because a girl is hot is no reason to give up your dignity and self-respect.

Allowing yourself to become a chump because a girl is an 8 or better goes against everything. Putting her on a pedestal and having "oneitis" is not healthy no matter how hot she is. IMHO


Cheers!
Yeah, this is definitely not appropriate in the long-term, but playing a game like this for a few months to get some quality tail ... worth it! :)
 

Jitterbug

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Ken785 said:
Thats not the case at all. Shes not the type to rob you for everything you have. She wouldnt do that to people. Shes actually very sweet besides sleeping with 2 guys...shes a really great girl.

I just think shes grown comfortable with him and he helps her out fixing stuff around the house and sharing things like cell phone and insurance policies, letting him put her house in his name so she can get aid for school and he can fix his credit and blah blah. They have a "partnership"....well, as long as she continues to sleep with him.

If she got a BF and told the chump she has feelings for someone else (like she did with me for 2 weeks)...he'll want to leave.

I guess she doesnt want to lose whatever benefits are associated with being with him....even if hes a needy guy (shes said that about him).

You've learned nothing from this. You're doomed to repeat similar failures in the future.
 

Ken785

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Jitterbug said:
You've learned nothing from this. You're doomed to repeat similar failures in the future.
No bro...im done. Going to get out in the field and spin more plates so I can find better quality women. If she wants that chump to call her "man", go ahead...she knows hes a chump, if he wasnt, she wouldnt go around fvcking me...I dont need that type of girl anyway, no matter how hot she is..
 

Atom Smasher

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Ken,

You got rid of her... great. Now here's one more thing you can do to gain self-respect and our respect: Take that solicitation for rep points off your signature.

If you want rep points, earn them quietly by providing sound advice and new ideas to the group. The fact that you are hinting for rep points says a lot about your focus and about who you are.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Ken785 said:
I did walk away. I told her I was tired of all the lies, tired of her sneaking around with 2 guys thinking im ok with it.

I wont ever be #2 on anybodys list again. If she wants me, it'll be me alone or nothing. She can have that other chump if she wants to call that her man.
Your situation reminded me of this dynamics:

What´s often seen in young women is ping ponging between bad boys and nice guys – she gets a dose of crazy sexual attraction from the bad boy, but then she needs the comfort building and she seeks it from a nice guy, and then the cycle repeats over and over until the music stops around age 35 and she’s scrambling to find a chair anywhere (guess whose chair? the nice guy´s).
The more messed up they are, the more they tend to play this game.

*It doesn´t always mean that one of the guys is a bad boy, but in a way, he has something the other doesn´t have, then these women go back and forth between men. This game is expertly played by Bpd nutcases.
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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dark god

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I would've kept on fvckin her...but you got ur emotions Involved. In a situation like that u just milk the free azz. Let dude pay the tab, u be the guy who swings by twice a week to get ur balls drained. u have to be a heartless douche to maximize the situation.
 

Buddha_Mind

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The pvssy is a drug to itself...and sometimes we'll act in ways we wouldn't have expected...

Stay strong man, don't relapse to this chick. Learn your lesson. Either be #1, if you're #2, then be the c0ck-supplement but keep your emotions unattached (I'm not sure if that is even psychologically healthy for most people) -- best scenario, find a new chick who makes you #1.
 
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